Awakening
by Stryder2008
Summary: What if that moment on Exegol was the beginning of Ben Solo and Rey's journey and not the end? She chose her side, she will stand with Ben against all odds and all opponents (friend or foe). Ben renounced the name Kylo Ren when he chose Rey, but his past didn't die when Kylo did and she is a Palpatine. Can they overcome what the names from their pasts imply? [BEN SOLO/REY] Rated: T
1. Awakening

**Legalities: **Star Wars and all characters contained within this wonderful galaxy belong to the creative genius of George Lucas. And, subsequently, upon their sale to Disney and further expansion and creation by JJ Abrams. No disrespect is intended by writing a story within their well-developed worlds. The opposite, in fact, is intended. All the respect in the world is due to these creative people and their expansion of a universe that has captured the imagination since 1977. I am making no money from this and no infringement is intended, just the opportunity to play in their respective 'sandboxes' (Jakku and Tattoine).

**Rating: PG-13 equivalent (though may change as the story develops)**

**Awakening**

_Chapter One: Awakening_

_Six years ago…_

Gasping, Kylo Ren shot upright in bed, his damp hair clinging to his sweaty forehead, his body shaking with the unwanted adrenaline. Silken sheets had slipped down his chest and pooled around his hips as his mind rebelled with both denial and shock. He hadn't even realized that he'd lit his lightsaber until the frenetic red glow registered on the edges of his senses. His dark brown eyes swiveled around his quarters, searching for a threat, any threat, but there was nothing lurking in those silent shadows.

With a flick of his thumb, he extinguished the red kyber crystal that powered his lightsaber. Once again casting his room into darkness. He dropped it onto the bed near his upraised knees and proceeded to scrub at his gritty eyes. He struggled to understand what had just happened. Why it had happened? His mind was so disjointed that he couldn't even recall the specifics of the _dream_ that awakened him.

With a few kicks, he tossed the crimson sheets away from his body and swung his long legs over the edge of his bed. Leaning forward, Ren rested his elbows on his knees while trying to regain the focus that had been shattered by unwanted images. But the harder he tried, the more he couldn't recapture anything but blurry representations of a _dream _he couldn't quite recall.

From the moment Ren had felt the virginal awakening in the force he had been unable to clearly identify the source. This _presence_ had neither a male nor a female essence, which was unusual because Force essence generally indicated one gender or the other. Nor was there an overwhelming sense of the light or darkness that always drove the emotions of the wielder; another unusual element that he'd never heard of.

"Lights." His deep voice echoed through his sparsely furnished quarters. The dark metallic walls were flooded with dim yellow light int the previous darkness. He slid forward, settling himself on slightly unsteady legs. Ren pulled in several more breaths in slow succession before his heart rate began its descent toward a normal rhythm. While he was used to these sorts of emotional bouts, it didn't mean he enjoyed them. He'd spent the better part of ten years trying to bury his emotions in the darkside.

With a sigh, Kylo steadied his conflicted and confused mind before inhaling deeply. Turning toward the small couch, where he'd discarded his clothing the previous day, he stared at the deep black leather he'd thrown across the back. Easily accessing the Force, he called them to his outstretched fingers. Kylo slipped his naked body into the soft supple leather before turning toward the rest of his clothing. Lifting the undershirt, he wrapped the smooth black material around his tall lean frame, reveling in the feeling. He had always hated the scratchy simple garb the Jedi chose to don. With a mental shake, Ren quickly slammed the door on that line of thinking; instead turning his attention back to what had awoken him. He hated unknowns.

For all his power, he still had blind spots that infuriated him; even as they threw his mind into turmoil. His dark gaze slipped to the left; he blinked slowly, staring at the mangled and burned out husk that had been his grandfather's mask.

Darth Vader had been a feared and formidable Sith lord. Ren could only hope that he ascended to the levels his grandfather had achieved. Vader had managed to do what no other Sith before him had done, he'd obliterated the Jedi order from the inside out. An accomplishment that assured him a place in the annals of history. A small insecure part of Ren wondered if he would ever measure up to the legacy of his family.

That single thought sent a wave of frustrated anger slicing through him. Because it wasn't just Vader's legacy he'd been expected to exceed, it had also been that of the Skywalker bloodline. As the only living male heir to the great Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker, Kylo had been groomed since birth to take up his uncle's mantle as Jedi Master. But his heart had always been uneasy with that expectation and he'd found himself increasingly frustrated by the forced separation from other people, including his parents.

A familiar aching loneliness settled over him; drowning both the light and the dark sides of the Force. All he could hear was the rage of his own blood between his ears. For all that he was known throughout the galaxy as the son of General Leia Organa-Solo and General Han Solo of the rebellion, Kylo Ren had never felt like anyone actually _knew _who he was; not really. Even his own flesh and blood didn't understand his conflicted soul. Which was why he had to leave. He couldn't be what they _needed _him to be.

Kylo tightened the thick black leather waist wrap, securing his black undershirt and tunic in place. Without glancing up he held out his right hand and the matching leather gloves floated effortlessly into his open palm. With a shake of his dark head, he realized that he needed to get his thoughts under control, Supreme Leader Snoke would feel his tumultuous emotions if he entered the command chamber in his current state of mind. And that would result in a _teaching _moment. A shiver scurried up and down his spine at the memory of his last teaching moment with the leader of the First Order. The phantom strokes of the pain-stick were as real today as they had been on that day. It had been the first time, but it had been far from the last time Ren had felt the sting of his master's disappointment. After all, pain and he were now old friends.

A subtle clicking to his right brought his attention around to a blinking holo-reader, he was being summoned to the command room of the mega-class star destroyer, Supremacy. Which also happened to be the supreme leader's personal flagship. While Kylo wasn't afraid of Snoke, neither was he stupid enough to underestimate the aging Sith Lord. Under the tutelage of the supreme leader, he had learned how to harness his unstable powers, drive them with pain, anger, and fear; using them to amplify his nearly limitless access to the Force. But that control had come with a great deal of emotional and physical pain.

Staring at the hilt of his lightsaber, it occurred to him that if someone had asked him about his childhood, if it had been _good _before his time with Snoke, he would have answered 'no'. He'd been lonely and constantly at the mercy of the barely hidden irritation and frustration of those tasked with watching him. But upon further reflection, Kylo had been able to identify the differences between supreme leader Snoke and the Solos through a more objective lens.

He had to be transparent in his thinking, the Solo's had never beaten him or subjected him to any amount of physical pain, it had been their absence, and at times indifference, that had allowed his soul to feel unwanted and alone.

Upon reflection, the physical blows from Snoke had been far easier to recover from than the void left by Leia Organa and Han Solo. Being the only son of legendary rebel fighters had been bad enough, but Kylo also suffered the mantle of being Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's only living relative, beyond his twin sister Leia. As far as Ren was concerned, prior to Snoke's attention, his entire life had been one failed expectation after another. As a Solo, he had been so _tired_ of _failing_ the family he'd been born into that he'd sought something, anything else.

His power in the Force had manifested before he was even born and with that had come more responsibility and expectation than should ever be placed on the slim shoulders of a child. He'd been born with a raw untapped access to the enormous powers of the Force. In fact, Ren's sense of the Force had rivaled his uncle's before he'd been five years old. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for his control.

As a kid, he hadn't wanted to be a Jedi, instead he'd followed his father, the almost mythic spice-smuggler, around with a case of hero worship that had led Kylo to pursue the nuances of piloting whatever craft he could get his hands on. And he was good, very very good. But it had been the Millennium Falcon that he'd dreamt of flying through the galaxy.

Kylo had been every bit the ace pilot his father had been; and so much more. He could feel his opponents' intensions before they were even a solid representation in their own mind. His skills had bested everyone he'd ever challenged; or been challenged by. The sole exception to his growing skillsets had been his uncle Luke's ability to outmaneuver him in every matchup. He hadn't realized it at the time, but Skywalker's ability had been driven by hard won control over the Force and sheer boredom on Tatooine; skills Kylo had lacked.

Anger burned inside him at the thought of Luke Skywalker's mastery of all things mechanical. Kylo had been like every other young padawan, he'd revered the Jedi Master as both infallible and wise in the ways of the Force. But he hadn't expected he would be required to give up his mother in the process of mastering his growing power in the Force. He'd barely been five years old and his mother left him sitting on a tiny bench outside his uncle's hut before flying off to rejoin the ranks of the rebellion. The only _love_ she'd never been able to give up.

In the absence of the Empire's military order and iron-fisted control, the galaxy had fallen into varying states of war. And the princess of the rebellion couldn't stand for that. Smuggling had turned into cartels, control fo the spice trades had stared wars, which had dipped the galaxy into chaos and blood.

While Kylo had expected he'd be challenged by the Jedi training, what he hadn't expected was the moment his uncle turned on him; infiltrating his mind and seeking out Kylo Ren's innermost thoughts and feelings. Things he hadn't been able to reconcile on his own, thoughts which would haunt him. But he hadn't been thinking about turning his back on the Light, betraying the sacrifices made by his parents in pursuit of freedom; not until the moment he'd watched his own family betray him in the name of that _Light_.

He hadn't been a stupid child, far from it; but neither had he been blind to the conflicting emotions building within himself. He'd tried to speak to his uncle on several occasions, but the timing never seemed to be right. And Luke Skywalker wasn't the easiest person to communicate with. Kylo had even attempted to speak to his own father, but the _oh so important _Han Solo, didn't have time for the emotional turmoil that his young son was facing. And with nowhere left to turn, Kylo had sought out the small voice that whispered to him in his dreams. Snoke.

But what had truly solidified his turn to the darkside had been the betrayal of his own _bloodline._ It had broken something inside Kylo that couldn't be repaired; he _didn't _want it to be repaired. The attempt on his life outside the Jedi temple, had left him torn open and bleeding, emotionally speaking. Although he hadn't walked away without his share of physical wounds too. He was a good fighter, the best Skywalker had trained, but that didn't mean that his fellow students hadn't also been competent in their skills.

His soul had been fractured and now Kylo was tortured by the disgust he'd seen so clearly in Luke Skywalker's frigid blue eyes that night. He needn't have been a Jedi to read the horror raging over the Jedi Master's aging face. The torrents of darkness had crashed over Ben Solo, extinguishing the light his uncle had been terrified of losing; and from that chaos Kylo Ren had been born; born of a rejection that had never been the young Jedi's fault. He'd been put on trial and convicted of a crime he'd yet to commit.

_Be careful that you do not create that which you fear most…._the old Jedi proverb had turned out to be a warning that even the great _Luke Skywalker_ had not headed.

He'd been so sure that Ren would turn from the forces of light that he had forced his sister's son to do exactly that, by his own actions.

While his uncle had been sure he could save Anakin Skywalker, or Darth Vader from the darkside, he hadn't cared enough about his sister's son to give him the same chance.

Luke Skywalker had stolen his nephew's choice that night; and Ren hated him for it.

Even now, so many years later, Kylo wasn't sure if he would have turned to the darkside without his uncle's heinous act. A brief smile pulled at the edges of his lips, someday Ren should thank him for that, if he ever saw the Jedi Master again. The only regret had been the loss of his mother, but that was a feeling that Kylo had buried deep inside himself to keep Snoke from learning that secret. And now Ren wondered if any of it mattered anymore?

No one had seen nor heard from the _great_ Luke Skywalker since the night his temple burned to ash. And the sole heir to Skywalker's legacy had fled the burning ruins of the Jedi temple. A place that had been Kylo's home for more than 12 years in pursuit of the voice that had whispered the warning to him. The warning of his uncle's impending treachery. He'd denied it at first. Kylo didn't want to accept that his own blood would attempt to kill him in such a cowardly fashion. But in the end Snoke had known what he did not; Kylo would never be a Jedi.

His eyelids dropped closed and he recalled, with perfect clarity, the unforgiving look in his father's eyes the last time they'd met. It was a look that fueled Ren during moments of indecision. He couldn't afford to let anyone in. There was no one in the galaxy that the son of Han and Leia Solo could trust; except supreme leader Snoke.

Recalling his defection from the Jedi order, Ren swallowed thickly. He'd been so conflicted, so sure that he'd destroyed his birthright when he'd called down the brick and mortar upon his uncle, that he never looked back. It had taken years for Kylo to accept that he was no longer Ben Solo, that he could _never_ be that person again. So he'd obliterated the name he'd been born with and claimed a new one as his reward.

Shaking himself out of his musings, he reached over for the sleek black mask that represented Kylo Ren, apprentice to the Supreme Leader, Snoke. The anonymity had been his sanctuary when he'd first turned to Master Snoke for guidance. His new Sith master had understood that Kylo wasn't ready to face the galaxy with the name and face he'd been born with, so he'd been given a new name and the means of hiding his face. It gave Ren a sense of freedom. A way to tap into the dark actions and emotions that drove his darkside; emotions that he may have fought otherwise. The supreme leader truly was _wise._

He'd followed Supreme Leader Snoke for the better part of ten years and in that time, he had committed atrocities that he could _never_ atone for. Not that he wanted to, but it was somewhat comforting to know that he was exactly where he should be. The Force had seen fit to grant him another path, one which ended in unlimited power and influence. He was the apprentice to a Sith Lord and he'd systematically hunted all the Jedi that his uncle Luke had trained throughout his years as a Jedi Master. It had been his own personal _gift_ to the Jedi Order.

Now, Kylo Ren rarely sensed any flickering currents in the Force that indicated a new Force sensitive soul had been awakened. Not until last night.

For the first time since leaving the Jedi temple Kylo had dreamt of _something_.

There had been a deep gaping chasm. It had loomed before him and a power unlike anything he'd ever felt had risen up. There had been nowhere for him to go. But that wasn't what had caused him to awaken in a panicked sweat; it had been the presence of _another_, with access to the powers of the Force; and they rivaled his own. And then there was the sense of wonder and peace he'd felt in the presence of that mind. Ren hadn't been able to sense if it was the light or the darkside of the force that fueled the exponential power he sensed; he only knew that he _trusted_ this presence in ways he'd never experienced; and he had no idea why.

_XXXX - REY_

The sun hadn't even risen when Rey instinctively launched herself from the makeshift bed inside the AT-AT she'd claimed as her home. Her fingers were already wrapping around the center of her staff in a deadly grip before she'd dropped into a crouch. She was fully clothed minus her boots. Her hazel eyes dancing around the small interior hull seeking a threat. She could still feel the other presence inside her mind, but as she scoured her home for anything out of place, she was forced to admit it had been nothing but a dream. Forcing her breathing to slow, she listened for the shuffling of sand that would indicate the approach of someone else. She heard nothing but the pre-dawn life that, like her, called the deserts of Jakku home.

She felt the adrenaline drain away as she sank back onto her bed. Without looking, she placed her staff in the exact place it had been before she'd bee startled awake. Her breathing slowed and she blinked several times before swallowing the surprise she'd felt at the dream. Rey rarely dreamt. And judging by her present condition it was probably a good thing. Inhaling, she glanced out the window that once been the _eyes_ of the Imperial mechanical marvel. She'd never actually seen one when it was still functional, but she imagined how tough the thick metal would be to penetrate with blaster fire.

The Imperial boneyard on Jakku was a stark and fearsome reminder of the power that had once threatened to consume the entire galaxy. Considering she had a complete lack of formal education, the fact that Rey understood the history surrounding the rise and fall of the Empire was a bit shocking. A slicing pain ripped through her heart at the thought of what her life could have been. If only her parents hadn't left her alone on Jakku all those years ago. She found she still hoped that they would return and claim her as her their own, give her a _family _name. She was tired of being 'just Rey'.

Her eyes drifted to the slash marks on the walls. There were so many ticks that she no longer tried to count them, but she did hope that they would end at some point. Rey reached over to the small alcove that held her few belongings and removed the solar light. Flipping it on she looked around for her boots and groaned when only one of them was where she'd stored them the previous evening. Slipping off the bed, she knelt down and glanced under the metal outcropping. A small rodent with large fuzzy ears and slits for eyes stared back her, judgement and challenge emanating from every spiked hair on its body.

"You can't keep that." She said lightly. A hint of a smile worked its way past her lips at the indignant squeak of the little animal. The soft lilt of her voice did little to soothe the small creature's reluctance when she reached in and yanked her boot out. Dust tickled her nose and she sneezed twice.

"Really?!" She moaned dramatically when the small bite marks caught her eye. "I only have the one pair." She added a bit more softly. The little creature squeaked again and then hissed in irritation.

There was no heat or anger to the admonishment, simply resignation that she would have to scavenge for a month to pay for a new pair; if her little roommate got a hold them, again. Shaking her head, Rey slipped the boots onto her feet before pulling a gauze-like material around her desert clothing. It served as more than a cover for her body, it also wicked the intolerable heat from her skin.

Her mind shifted back to the dream and she stopped, her hand frozen in the air just above her waist. The presence she had sensed had been powerful, unlike anything she'd ever heard of. Rey had felt a strong connection to the mind behind the power, and had both confused and intrigued her. Was this just a manifestation of her desire to belong somewhere? Or was there something more at play here? On the other end of the presence she had felt a loneliness and betrayal that rivaled her own.

A Carian bird screed from somewhere outside her AT-AT breaking her contemplation. Pushing the dream to the back of her mind, she turned her attention to more important things. Like gathering enough parts to trade for her meals and water that day.

She stepped out into the pre-dawn light, stretching her arms high above her head. Rey's staff was tightly gripped between her fingers, she swung it in several directions before nodding once and settling the carrying strap over her shoulders.

"Today is going to be a good day." She said. But even she wasn't sure if it was a prayer or simply hope that drove her words.

But the day had turned into one of fighting and running.

_Later..._

Rey stared at her meager meal. While she wasn't a large person, by any stretch of the imagination, she did _eat_ like one. With a sigh she realized that she'd be going to bed hungry tonight, just like last night and the night before that… Another scavenger had tried to steal her bounty at Nima outpost today, which had resulted in two parts getting broken and thus ensuring that Unkar Plutt wouldn't pay what they were worth; even broken they were worth more than he had agreed to pay.

But that had meant that he'd offered only one quarter portion. Rey couldn't remember the last time her stomach hadn't clenched at the thought of food and water. The howl of the wind outside her home caught her attention for a moment. And in that moment, she was suddenly staring at something else.

_The back of a boy. He was tall, almost gangly, with jet black hair that hung below ears that were slightly too large for his head. His shoulders were slumped as he stared at the pale blue thruster engines of a disappearing freighter. He didn't turn around and he never said anything, but Rey could feel his loneliness. It seemed to radiate around him as he stood frozen by something that she could actually understand._

_He pulled in a long slow breath and sank slowly to his knees. The red sun was just clearing the horizon in front of him. Rey didn't know what was driving her, but she stepped closer and settled down next to him. Surprised, he turned and stared at her._

_Large brown eyes searched her expression for sincerity. He must have found it because he blinked and turned back toward the sunrise. His face wasn't handsome, not really, but it was interesting. The nose, that was a bit too large, sat above plump pink lips that didn't look like they had much to smile about. He had high cheekbones and his skin was pale, like he didn't see the sun all that often._

_Rey's gaze drifted to red sun and she wondered if the color of the sun made a difference on whether or not a person could be 'burned' by it? Neither of them said anything, they simply sat in companionable silence watching the horizon. Rey didn't understand why she felt at ease with the boy, but she did. Deep inside she knew that he wouldn't hurt her; that he would 'feel' her pain as keenly as she would._

As suddenly as she'd been thrown into the strange vision, Rey was back staring blankly at the wall of her AT-AT. The howling wind was her only companion. But the aching loss she felt at the separation from some boy she'd never met had her swallowing uncomfortably. She shouldn't be this invested in a person she'd never met.

Grabbing her meal and the old pilot's helmet she loved, Rey head outside to watch the twin suns set. Frantic beeping grabbed her attention and sent her scurrying over the sand dunes in search of the unhappy owner of those desperate sounds.

XXXX-REN

_Two days before "The Force Awakens" events…_

The unexpected feeling of peace that nearly overwhelmed Kylo caused him to stumble to a halt. Had someone infiltrated his mind? Where was this coming from? He whirled around finding nothing by empty space behind him. There was no one there. No presence to explain this strangely unsettling feeling of _peace_. This time there was a distinctly female overtone that made no sense to him. If it had been his mother, he would've known immediately. Leia's aura was unlike anyone else's and Kylo could pick it out without even trying.

But this had been nothing like his mother. There had been an unknown sexual feel to it that would never have come from family. This _female_ was not a relative and it was someone his physical body was reacting to. What is possible that Snoke was testing him again? Shaking his head, Kylo started walking again. That wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Master Snoke often tested Ren's emotions, but he'd never touched on the physical ones before. The emotions that drove sexual want and need. Granted, Kylo was twenty-eight and not unaware of those types of relations, but they were forbidden by the Sith Lord.

The feeling faded away into the back of his mind and he clenched his teeth in frustration. As he rounded the final turn toward his quarters. A service droid beeped nervously when it noticed his stalking gate and skittered out of the way. A sense of satisfaction replaced the frustration as Kylo realized that he'd caused a nervous response in the droid. He could feel the fear and suspicion that always surrounded him when he was geared up as _Kylo Ren, apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke_, from other humanoids or aliens, but droids were another thing entirely.

Large black doors loomed before him; he'd barely paused before they slid apart, detecting his approach and bio-signature. Stepping into the large dimly lit space he ground his teeth together before reaching up and depressing the button on the side of his mask. With a hiss, the mouth portion slid out and up allowing him to lift it clear of his face. Dark curls spilled out when cleared his head. Moving toward a hidden wall unit, he set the black mask on a pedestal and turned back toward the empty room. Just as it had been three years ago, it was starkly furnished, the alcove bed with small depressed shelves inside the metal made up the walls. A table with a black metal chair and the small couch were the only furnishings. Several texts were neatly lined up along the other wall in a shelving unit; and that was it. With the exception of the tall octagonal pedestal that held Vader's mask. It was the one possession that he would kill for.

Every other thing he owned, to include his saber, could be replaced; but not Vader's mask and the connection it represented for him.

There were no trinkets or anything else that might give insight into who Kylo Ren was, just a void of anything that might inspire sentimentality. Ren couldn't allow the emotions that had felled the great Darth Vader to take hold of him too. Too often he felt the light bouncing around inside his soul, and it would burn through his anger leaving him vulnerable. But he'd made his choice long ago and there was no coming back from the things he'd done in pursuit of that. So, there were no options for Ren outside of Snoke's influence; that had been the price he'd paid the night he sought a new master.

He glanced at the small black table; a meal had been left there by some servant. Ren never knew who brought the meals; he'd never wanted to know. He didn't interact with anyone but those necessary to accomplish his goals. The insignificant people that rambled about the Supremacy were none of his concern and he preferred it this way.

Carefully, he unwrapped the dark cowl from about his shoulders before removing the leather belt and long black tunic. The T-shaped lightsaber clung casually from the hook at his hip; he carefully removed and set it near the head of his bed. Kylo was never far from his lightsaber.

_Not since that night at the Jedi temple. _Unintentionally, he recalled the events in a flash of hurt and betrayal that nearly sent him to his knees with their intensity. His uncle, the great Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, had attempted to murder him that night. Had Kylo stored his lightsaber any further away than the study table at the end of his bed he would likely be dead now. That had been one lesson that he'd learned incredibly well.

That had been the night he'd left his family with no intension of ever returning. He'd never told his parents about the ultimate betrayal of his uncle. Not because he wouldn't have told them, simply that it wouldn't have mattered. Luke was his mother's twin brother and she would have sided with him; even against her only son. And Han? _Ha!_ What a joke. His father would never have taken his word about the events of that night, so why even try to defend his actions?

Kylo had heard the tales of his defection from the light. It had been blown from fact to myth within a few years. According to the 'story' of his fall, Ren had killed all his fellow padawan learners the night he'd burned the Jedi temple to the ground. That wasn't _exactly_ what had happened. Oh, he'd burned that sorry excuse for a religious church to ashes, that part was true; but he hadn't killed the other students. To this day Ren didn't know exactly how the students had died that night. He'd been long gone by that point.

After that? Oh yes, Kylo Ren had murdered many Jedi in his quest for acceptance by the supreme leader. He felt ambivalent about his involvement in their deaths. They'd turned their backs on his as surely as his own family had, so why try and save them?

Twisting, the loose black undershirt flowed away from his body upon removal of the belt. The fabric ballooned at his wrists and hung to just below his hips. The fabric was incredibly soft, made from Irralian silkworms, it moved with every shift of his body. The expensive nature of the fabric was a far cry from the scratchy material his padawan learner's uniform had been fashioned from. It hadn't occurred to him at the time that the uniform was uncomfortable. In his naivety, his only thoughts had been to learn all he could about the Force that raged inside him.

His Jedi Master uncle had only commented once on Kylo's abilities within the Force. It had been in a conversation with Leia when Kylo had been around three years old. Luke Skywalker had insisted that Ren's power was unparalleled in its strength and that without proper training it could become a powerful weapon for the darkside. Leia Organa had agreed that he needed to be trained and that she was not the one to accomplish it, so she'd sent Kylo with the Jedi.

He sank down onto the bed, the only concession he had made when becoming Snoke's apprentice had been a more comfortable mattress. Sore muscles made him grateful for that one decision, Ren leaned over to remove the tall black boots that stopped just beneath his knees. He didn't bother removing anything else before he laid down, stretching out. His bed had been specially crafted for him due to his height. Kylo was tall, even for a human and smashing himself into the tiny beds, normal for quarters on a Star Destroyer, had been something of a frustration for him when he'd first arrived.

Pulling in a deep breath, he allowed his mind to drift into a meditative state as his body shifted into restorative sleep.

_Kylo stood in the pounding rain, his knights of Ren bringing up the flank in an attack pattern that near perfect. With a yank backward, Kylo pulled his saber clear of the Jedi he'd just impaled. The scream of the dying man bothered him more than he was willing to admit, not even inside his own mind could he admit to such a weakness. But his 'weaknesses weren't what rocked him back on his heels, it was call from another Force Sensitive and it had the aura a 'virgin' cry. This wasn't someone that understood the Force or their part in it. The mental cry was strong and distinctly female._

_He stumbled, turning away from the Knights of Ren to see the image of a girl standing opposite him. She wasn't solid, which meant this was some sort of projection of her Force strength. To insert herself into his mind in this way would have killed her. That was a skill reserved for only the most skilled Masters. But here she stood. Brown hair plastered to her head, obviously haunted by the death she'd witnessed. Wide hazel eyes sat in a pleasantly proportioned face, above a straight nose and pale pink lips. Her clothing was simple. Not much different than those of a Jedi, but he didn't sense the training that would indicate a fully trained Master of the Light._

_Her expression was one of shocked denial as she stood in front of him, frozen by what she'd inadvertently witnessed. Almost against his will, he started to move toward her. She instinctively moved backward, her face draining of what little color it had left. The pale pink lips parted, like she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Ren could feel the Forces of Light gathering around her, she was powerful, but she didn't tap into that power._

_Which meant that this scrawny, yet somehow appealing girl, likely didn't know what she was feeling. He kept advancing as she continued backing away. His mind knew it was a dream, but he couldn't stop himself. It was unlike anything he'd felt before; this connection to her. A thought tumbled over and over in his head, if he could find her and turn her, then the First Order would have another powerful Sith on their side. And he would have an opportunity to investigate this 'connection' in greater detail._

_Not to mention that Snoke would be pleased that he'd acquired another Force user._

_And there was something else, a personal attachment to her that made no sense and yet he couldn't have ignored it if he'd wanted to. As he considered that, Ren knew that he wouldn't be bringing her up to Snoke after all; at least not yet. Something told him that the Master Sith would be less than pleased that 'he' had taken such a keen interest in the girl on a personal level._

_She stumbled over a body she hadn't seen and landed in a very undignified heap in the mud. It squelched around her, dying her light-colored clothing the color of soot. She continued to scramble away from him, fear clearly evident on her face._

_Something about the girl kept drawing him forward, against his better judgement. It wasn't her looks, Kylo had seen many beautiful women throughout the galaxy; none of them had affected him this way. It was her mind. Her raw inherent, and untapped power. It was simply 'her' that he wanted, but he didn't understand why._

_Kylo was sure that if he'd seen this girl before he would remember, but he hadn't. So, who was she and why was she haunting his dreams? This was the second time he'd dreamt since leaving the Jedi Temple and again the dream involved this 'girl'. He felt his Knights start to move toward her. Despite knowing that this wasn't happening in real time, he couldn't stop the protective way he positioned himself between her and them._

_She didn't notice his act, but his knights did. Kylo could feel their discomfort with his choice. The connection between them radiated along the Force like a string that had been plucked too hard and continued to reverberate sporadically with chaotic energy._

_The dream shifted and he was suddenly standing on a brightly lit sand dune watching as a small girl was handed over to a bulbous alien. He didn't know who the meaty fist belonged to, but he wanted to remove it from the alien's arm when he clamped down too hard. The child was screaming for 'someone' to come back, but Kylo Ren couldn't make out who had just flown off. He turned back and the oppressive feeling of abandonment and fear touched emotions that he thought long dead. Compassion and understanding. He'd come to Snoke at the tender age of fifteen and now he didn't think he had much humanity left; apparently, he'd been wrong._

_Ren had felt similarly abandoned when his mother and father had foisted him off for training with the Jedi. In fact, he'd spent so much time lost and alone that when Snoke had begun communicating with him through the Force, Kylo had been eager to listen._

_Even as he watched the little girl being dragged off, he wanted to stop it; to protect her from the pain and loneliness he knew would dog her every step through those ever-changing dunes from that moment on. The instinct was so strong it rocked him to his core. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cared about anything but killing the last dim shades of light in his soul. But his concern for her cut through that, making him vulnerable…human…and weak._

Shooting up in bed, Kylo felt the sweat run down his face as his dark hair curled wetly against his moist skin. His breathing was erratic; his heart hammering in his chest as he struggled to control his traitorous body. The dream had been so real this time. Like he'd been there watching the whole thing happen. And while he knew he'd been present when he and his knights had destroyed the Jedi temples, he was positive he'd never seen a child taken from her parents and sold off, like the one in his dream. With a curse he brushed his hair away from his eyes and pulled his long legs up against his chest, leaning against the cold metal wall of the alcove. Her fear was still so tangible that Kylo wondered if he'd ever be fully rid of it. It was a fear that matched his on the night his own family had betrayed him.

_Who are you?_ He wondered silently. Laying his head on his knees he couldn't help but feel a sense of camaraderie with this unknown girl. Her life hadn't been easy, but she hadn't let that beat her. Her strength had rippled along the connection between them. Kylo had sensed her determination to find the family that had left her alone, but there had also been an undercurrent of despair. She didn't truly believe they were coming back for her; but she hoped they were.

The darkness in his room suddenly felt oppressive. Reaching out with the Force, he flicked the button that would illuminate the small desk lamp. The sudden low light had him blinking several times to allow his brown eyes to adjust. A shiver ran through him as he unfolded his lanky body. Reaching down, his fingers found purchase on the sheets and he pulled them up over his hips. The light material of his shirt clung to his clammy skin, with a snort of disgust he peeled it over his head and tossed it to the floor.

Cool air whispered over his bare skin and slowly dried the evidence of his nightmare. He had to get control of his mind. He couldn't afford to be constantly confronted by the light and his past.

XXXX_ \- PRESENT_

Kylo Ren listened with rising irritation as the young lieutenant delivered unpleasant news. "The droid escaped in a stolen ship." the man said in a stilted voice.

Without turning, "The _droid_ stole a ship?" Ren questioned.

The lieutenant swallowed thickly. He really hated to give this _man_ bad news. "He had help. The stormtrooper—"

"FN 2187." Kylo answered quickly. He didn't need to riffle through the Force to discover who had helped the droid.

The subtle shifting of booted toes informed Kylo that the officer wasn't finished with the bad news. "They were accompanied by a girl." he finished.

Spinning rapidly, the man slid across the floor into the open fingers of the tall man in black. "What girl?" Kylo ground past his clenched teeth. The slow deliberate way he asked the question would have sent the young officer running in the other direction had Ren not held him still with the Force.

He was furious that he'd lost his chance at snatching the BB unit back on the planet of Jakku. True, he'd gotten away with the resistance pilot, but that too had been stolen from him by the despicable traitor, FN 2187. Rage boiled inside him at the mere thought of the storm trooper turned would-be rescuer. _Traitor!_ How could he turn against the First Order? While Ren had held the pilot captive, he'd learned many things. But none of them were the location of the hidden BB-8 droid. So, his only lead had just been spirited away from by a deceitful stormtrooper and a girl of no consequence.

A gulp that would've been inaudible to anyone else told Ren the trooper really didn't want to answer that. "We don't know. A scavenger from Jakku. She stole a ship from Nima outpost and took the droid with her."

Narrowing his dark eyes, Kylo considered that. "What ship?

Inhaling deeply the trooper continued, "An old freighter."

Something about the way he said it put Kylo's teeth on edge. "Freighter?" He released the officer against his better judgement and waited for the rest of the information.

Coughing, he backed out of Kylo Ren's striking distance. He really didn't want to answer this question. But the intensity of the taller man's stance communicated a lack of patience that would surely mean his death if he refused to answer the question.

"We believe it was the Millennium Falcon, sir." He stumbled over the name of Han Solo's freighter.

The subtle tightening of Ren's shoulders quickly had the man scurrying from the room. He had no intension of being on the other end of the power that the Sith Apprentice controlled. Being notified that he'd lost the chance to obliterate the ship that had played such an integral role in his childhood was like having Turulian salt poured in a gaping wound.

The rapidly departing deck officer heard the animalistic cry of rage and the wailing screech of the metal as the unstable leader of the Knights of Ren's fiery hatred found release on the unsuspecting machines in the room.

Fury and uncontrolled anger fueled every crashing stroke of his lightsaber. Sparks flew in every direction as he vented his fury. He had no idea how long he slashed at the control panels, but when he was done releasing his emotions, he stared at the damage he'd inflicted.

He could feel the terrified officer waiting just outside the door. "Anything else." Silence.

Frustration at his inability to control his own anger slipped past the rage and he stood shaking with it. The supreme leader would sense his emotions and that wouldn't help his cause. Tilting his head, he flicked the red saber off and reattached it to his wide black belt. The long cloak easily hid the weapon as he exited the control center and walked toward his quarters.

Kylo needed to gain control and the only way he believed this was possible was to find the girl that both haunted his dreams and infuriated his reality. She had a part to play in the melodrama that was his life, he simply had no idea what that part was.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _This is my first foray into the world of Star Wars, though I have been a fan of that world for many many years. Like many, I didn't like the decision at the end of "Rise of Skywalker" as I felt it cheapened the sacrifice that both Han and Leia made to save their son. I think there was a missed chance to explore a redemption arc for Ben Solo and the loyalty Rey felt for him. How would that strain her friendships with Finn and Poe? What would the members of the rebellion say "if" they learned of her true family name? Would they stick with her? Would she be stained by the name "Palpatine"? All of those ideas have been swirling around since I saw the film on opening day in December, so I decided to do something about it._

_Updates will come once a week until the story is complete. Look for these on Sundays (generally)._

**Please Review:** **If you're as interested in seeing another ending to this story as I am, please let me know.**


	2. The Forest

**Legalities: **Star Wars and all characters contained within this wonderful galaxy belong to the creative genius of George Lucas. And, subsequently, upon their sale to Disney and further expansion and creation by JJ Abrams. No disrespect is intended by writing a story within their well-developed worlds. The opposite, in fact, is intended. All the respect in the world is due to these creative people and their expansion of a universe that has captured the imagination since 1977. I am making no money from this and no infringement is intended, just the opportunity to play in their respective 'sandboxes' (Jakku and Tattoine).

**Rating: PG-13 equivalent (though may change as the story develops)**

**Notes: **This story is going to jump forward to the present at the end of this chapter, so don't be surprised when you find yourself embarking on a new adventure and an alternate interpretation of the events of Rise of Skywalker. Hope you enjoy the ride.

**Chapter Two:**

_The Forest – six years ago_

Releasing the tarnished clasp, Rey stepped back as BB-8 dropped into the sand at her feet. He beeped several times and she smiled at his comment.

"Don't give up. He still might show up. Whoever it is you're waiting for." The smile drifted from her lips. She listened to his fast-paced beeps, beeps that told her he wasn't going into any further detail about whoever 'he' was. "Classified." She said, shaking her head, Rey started to walk away. "I know all about waiting." She finished, speaking to no one in particular.

A series of beeps was a clear question, she stopped, staring up at the bright yellow sky. "For my family. They'll come back. One day. Come on." BB-8 obviously understood that she was waiting, but not what she was waiting for.

They moved toward the bartering tent, Rey's scavenged items following behind her on the small sled. The smell was terrible, like the garbage pits past the Hallen dunes. That was a place she didn't go to unless she had no other options.

Plutt picked through her items, his eyes narrowing. "These five pieces are worth…one half portion."

She stared at him, the objection slipping past her lips before she could stop it. "Last week they were a half portion each." The unfairness of her situation settled in the pit of her stomach. Rey hated Platt, always had, always would.

"What about the droid?" he asked, his eyes sliding downward.

Her eyes drifted to the trusting little droid rocking at her feet. He looked up at her and she could swear that she felt his faith in her expand. "What about him?" She asked.

"I'll pay for him."

The nervous beeps informed Rey that BB-8 was following this exchange and he didn't seem to like the way it was going; at least not for him…

Rey stared at Unkar Plutt and the sixty portions he'd just offered for the BB unit she'd rescued in the desert. Her mouth watered in anticipation of a full stomach. It was a feeling she couldn't even remember, a full stomach. Her entire life had been one long search for her next meal, her next safe place to sleep; it had been the driving force behind her daily existence for so long she didn't know how to _want_ anything else.

Deep in the recesses of her mind she knew that she'd never sell another sentient being into service. And it didn't matter whether it was a droid, alien or another humanoid, she couldn't do that. Her face twitched before she pushed the portion packets back.

With a slow breath, she admitted, "Actually, the droid's not for sale."

Rey grabbed her one-half portion and turned to leave the bargaining tent. She felt more than heard the anger from the bulbous alien at her rejection of his offer. Ignoring the uneasy feeling she continued outside into the mid-day sun, the heat was oppressive. Two of Unkar's thugs were suddenly heading in her direction; she took a deep breath before unslinging her staff and shifting into a defensive position. This wouldn't be the last time she'd fight to keep something she'd scavenged.

"Stay behind me." She ordered. BB-8 sent out a series of beeps indicating he agreed that that was a very good idea.

One of the thugs struck out with meaty fist and she quickly found herself dodging and twisting to avoid being hit by a pain stick. She could hear the frantic beeping of the little droid, turning she clenched her teeth as one of the thugs began slipping a sack over him. _Not today!_

Her pulse quickened and the world seemed to narrow down to a single point. Rey was so focused on the fight that she failed to notice when another human came to her aid. He stopped and watched as she managed to take down the two attackers and then yanked the sack from over the droid's head freeing him. He beeped gratefully.

Finn stared in shock when the sack cleared his round body. That was the droid that Poe had been talking about. The one with the map to Skywalker. But his shock quickly gave way to surprise as the girl was suddenly pounding across the sand toward _him._ He turned and ran through the tent marketplace. And the _thump _of her staff across his shoulders sent his sprawling on his stomach. He rolls over, his chest heaving.

"What's your hurry, thief?"

"What?! Thief?" He scrambles to his feet again. But the fast-moving droid still manages to shock Finn with a welding arm that telescopes out from his lower body.

"Ow! What?!"

The girl steps right up to his chest, staff raised threateningly. "The jacket! This droid says you stole it."

"I've had a pretty messed up day, alright?! So, I'd appreciate if you stop accusing me – OW!" Another zap from the welding torch. "Stop it!"

She wasn't a fool. Rey had been lied to throughout her life, she watched for those tell-tell signs in the young man staring at her. "Where'd you get it? It belongs to his master."

Rey watched Finn's face fall. His brown eyes shift to the agitated little BB unit.

"It belonged to Poe Dameron. That was name right?" he asked BB-8. An affirmative beep and a nod from Rey spur him forward. "He was captured…but the First Order. I helped him escape, but our ship crashed." His eyes unfocused as he remembered their headlong flight from the star destroyer. "Poe didn't make it."

The little droid's head fell forward, his beeping taking on a sad lost tone of the depressed.

"Look, I tried to help him. I'm sorry…"

But Rey was surprised by his admission; she needed to know more. "So, you're with the Resistance?"

His eyes snapped to meet hers and he made a rash decision in that moment, _lie to her_. "Obviously. Yes. I'm with the Resistance, yeah." His voice dropped to a whisper, like a conspirator. "I'm with the Resistance."

Rey's staff drifted down and she looked at this newcomer with a building respect. "I've never met a resistance fighter before."

He shrugged. "Well, this is what we look like. Some of us. "Others look different."

"BB-8 says he's on a secret mission, he has to get back to your base."

"Apparently he's carrying a map that leads to Luke Skywalker, and everyone's after it."

That was a name that Rey never thought she'd hear outside her own head. The Jedi Master wasn't real, was he? "Luke Skywalker? I thought he was a myth."

Mad beeps from BB-8 pulled their attention around and Rey stared at the two white-clad troopers. Niima Outpost didn't warrant visits from First Order Stormtroopers, at least not that she'd ever heard of. "What is it?"

He didn't say anything at first, just grabbed her hand and started pulling her after him as he sprinted toward the distant multitude of tents.

"What are you doing?" she tried to pull her hand away, but he kept a tight grip on her fingers, hauling her after him.

"Come on!" he cried again. Desperation and fear drove his feet to a frantic pace.

The sudden laser blasts that ripped past them and she stopped fighting and started running for her life. The whir of the droid's gyros told her that BB-8 was keeping up with them too.

"Come on, BB-8!"

Regaining some sense of herself, "Let go of me!" She cried.

He ignored her loud protests. "No, we gotta move!"

Yanking her hand away, "I know how to run without you holding my hand! BB-8 stay close!"

They ducked into a large purple tent at the end of the marketplace street and then slow to a stop. Both humans gulped in air as they tried to see where the stormtroopers had gone.

Rey couldn't believe what had just happened, it wasn't just him they were after. "They're shooting at both of us!"

He made a 'duh' look at her, "Yeah, they saw you with me! You're marked!"

_Great, that's just great. _"Well, thanks for that!" she shot back, her voice rife with irritation.

"I'm not the one who chased you down with a stick! Does anyone have blasters around here?!"

Kneeling next to the little droid she asked. "Are you okay?"

He beeped an 'affirmative'. Before she knew what was happening, the boy suddenly grabbed her hand once more and they were off and running.

"STOP taking my hand!" She wasn't even sure why she said it. It was obvious that he wasn't listening to a damn thing she said.

The overhead whine of Tie Fighters pulled his attention around and he knew they were in trouble. He put on a burst of speed. But it wasn't enough; twin blasts from ion cannons sent him, Rey and the little droid careening through the air in three separate directions.

She landed with a jarring thud on the sand, the air momentarily knocked from her. Rolling over, Rey looks for _him_…and he wasn't moving.

Scrambling to her feet she hurried to his side and started shaking him, violently. "Hey!"

The first words that came out of his mouth shocked her to her very core.

"—Are you okay?"

During her entire life, no one had ever cared enough to ask _that _question and Rey felt something tight and lonely loosen inside her heart.

"Yeah." She reached down to help him up, feeling for the first time like they were supposed to meet. That there is something else at work here. "Follow me."

The Tie Fighters banked around the edge of the small outpost and both she and her _companion _knew things were going to get worse really bad if they didn't get off the open sand.

"We can't outrun them!" he cried as the ground seemed to suck up all his stamina and speed.

She pointed ahead of them. "We might in that quad-jumper!"

A quad-engine ship in the distance appeared to be their destination. It didn't look very sturdy, but it was certainly preferable to running like hell through the desert.

"We need a pilot!" he shot back.

Well, that was a bit offensive as far as she was concerned. "We've got one!" She responded.

His eyes widened in shock, "You?!"

She didn't answer, just kept running toward the old jumper. She knew that they didn't have much time before those Tie-fighters, the ones that her would-be rescuer had warned her about, came back and finished the job. Rey had no idea how he'd known that the fighter was coming, but she was grateful he'd recognized a danger that she hadn't.

Sand exploded all around them as they ran, the little droid rolling frantically along side the humans. With an unerring accuracy, Rey managed to stay one step ahead of the canon blasts.

"What about that one?" he pointed at the old freighter hidden under some tattered tarps. It was a rust bucket, but it was closer.

She glanced over; the thing hadn't flown for as long as Rey could remember. In fact, she was pretty sure the only reason Plutt still held onto it was because it would cost more to dispose of the thing than just letting the sand and time break it down to elemental metal.

"That one? It's garbage!" She yelled back and redoubled her efforts to reach the other vessel.

It had never occurred to her to wonder why she seemed to have such good luck when evading an attacker, but at the moment she could only hope that her luck was enough to save all of them. Gritty sand slipped past her parted lips and she coughed while trying to wipe it from her mouth. For all that she'd spent her life on Jakku, Rey really hated the sand. It got into everything and settled into every crack and crevice in the most uncomfortable way.

Heat seared her arm as the jumper they'd been running toward blew apart in a spectacular spray of sparks and heated metal slag. Staggering to a stop, she blinked in surprise and then immediately turned toward the old rust bucket. The resistance fighter stumbled and then blinked in disbelief at the smoldering pile _junk_.

"The garbage will do." She called as she passed a stunned droid and the guy helping her.

Their flight off the planet was less than stealthy and it was lucky that they both had skills the other one knew nothing about. Rey could pilot anything with an engine and apparently her new-found _friend _could use any type of blaster canon with a great deal of accuracy. Which was lucky since a particularly lucky hit jammed the cannon turret in the up position.

The sound of the spherical droid rolling and bouncing around the central corridor sent a pang of regret through Rey. She didn't like causing pain to anything, mechanical or organic and BB- didn't sound like he was enjoying their escape any more than she was. Once they were safely out of Jakku's system, she set the auto pilot and went back to speak with him. _Finn_, he'd said his name was Finn. Like her Finn hadn't stated a family name, just a single name that identified who they were. It made her want to trust him.

Leaning around him she saw the little BB unit watching them intently. He'd said that he needed to get to the resistance fighters. She had been surprised to hear that. Whatever he was carrying was important, important enough for the First Order to issue a kill strike against anyone seen aiding the little droid. Which meant that she was now on their strike list too. _Fantastic, I rescue a droid and now I'm being hunted by the entire First Order. This is not how I thought this day would go._

_Several days later, Takodana Planet - Maz's Palace - Rey_

The imminent departure of Finn wasn't sitting well with Rey. She needed him and he _needed_ her, at least that was what she'd thought until he walked out on her. The sense of abandonment was every bit as keen as it had been when she'd been a child. It had felt like the betrayal her own family had put her through.

Worse even, because neither she nor Finn had anything to gain by walking away…and everything to lose. Her heart ached at the thought of losing Finn. She'd grown to care for him in the short time they'd been together.

Although, they had almost died on multiple occasions during that time, so that might have had something to do with her growing feelings of attachment. An anguished cry from somewhere behind her pulled her attention away from Finn's retreating back. It was the voice of a little girl, a very scared little girl.

Rey moved through the maze of people like she knew where she was going, which she definitely did not. A long wide set up stone steps loomed before her, the gray stone hiding hints of moss. They headed into a basement corridor, and Rey _had_ to follow these steps. She didn't understand why, but she _needed_ to know where they went and what was at the bottom of them. In the distance she could hear the echoing sounds of the young girl, and she was crying. The 'clunk' 'clunk' 'clunk' of BB-8 was somewhat comforting as she descended into the lowly lit basement.

A door at the end seemed to call her forward, Rey's eyes dropped to the lock and suddenly the door swung open. The room was dark, small, but with storage containers strewn throughout. Some of the items could have been worth a lot of money, but none of them call to Rey like the single chest sitting under a decade's layer of dust.

The complete absence of fear should have been a warning, but Rey was too intent on the wooden box to realize it. Hesitant, she reached out and slowly opened the lid. Inside, a silver-hilted item sat resting in the blue velvet cloth. Her desire to touch it was like looking into the flames of Ragna, she knew she should look away, but she couldn't. Rey's trembling fingers unfolded before they closed about the silver hilt. The sudden mechanical breathing caught her off guard.

_The Forest – Kylo Ren_

He felt it the moment she tapped into the Force, the moment her mind connected with the ancient cosmic power. The fluctuation between light and dark was unlike anything he'd experienced. Sinking back against the seat in his ship, Ren focused on _feeling_ her through the rippling layers of the Force. His dreams had been blissfully free of her presence for some time, but he was still aware of her. He was _always_ aware of her.

But this time it was more. This wasn't a dream or a Force-driven vision, at least not for him. This time something was happening that was specifically focused on the _girl_. Her emotions were familiar to him, not so dissimilar from his own. The clear memory of his clash with the power behind this Force reminded Ren that he'd been through this before. This was the actual manifestation of the dream that had confused and frustrated him for the past several months.

The girl was finally catching up to where he had already been…and now they were racing down twin paths that led to an unknown future. He heart skipped a beat in excitement, he was enthralled by this unforeseen set of events in his life.

He needed to find her, to see the conflict inside her mind. Would it mimic his?...

_Endor Moon – Present Day_

The turbulent violence of the water crashing around them was a visceral reminder of their lives. He brought his lightsaber down against her over and over and yet he couldn't quite bring himself to deal the final _strike_. Ren couldn't kill her. Something kept holding him back, at least it had been until that final moment when she'd stumbled under the weight of her family's past and her fear of the future.

He could save her from all of this. He could give her the sense of balance she sought without the fear. His feelings for Rey were complicated in a way that had only made sense when he'd found the source of their connection. _A dyad in the Force._ He and Rey shared something that was only every whispered about in the Jedi's ancient texts. Even they'd never actually witnessed one, only heard about it from others.

But standing over her, with her life in his hands Ren knew they were destined for something great. His gaze dropped to her tortured face and he realized that he didn't want to put her through that. The parts of her that would be destroyed if she gave in to her darker urges were the parts that he found so fascinating. So in a moment of grace, Kylo Ren decided to release her from that burden.

Lifting his saber, he prepared to do the most unselfish thing he'd ever done; he prepared to kill the girl he'd fallen in love with. Was it because of the Force? Maybe. But he preferred to think that it was more to do with her soul. After all, they were "two that were one".

TBC…

**Author's Note**: _Time jump forward…I just wanted to set the scene from the first meeting and then kick Rey and Ben into their futures. Life is going to get difficult for them both as they continue down this path of discovery. I'm fairly certain neither Finn nor Poe would be as forgiving as Rey was about Ben Solo's past as Kylo Ren._

**Please take a minute to review…**


	3. Sacrifice

**Notes:** Thank you for your reviews and follows. I do hope you're enjoying the story.

**Chapter Three**: _Sacrifice_

In that moment Ben _heard_ his mother's voice call out across the stars. It was a plea. To forsake this path, the one he'd set for himself and allow Rey to live. He turned from where she lay in a sprawled heap. The current of his mother's light blinked once and then it was gone. He nearly stumbled under the unexpected grief that assaulted him.

XXXX

Leia Organa-Solo's death rang through the Force with a finality that rivaled even that of her twin brother. Unlike Luke, Leia had remained a beacon of hope throughout the galaxy. She'd represented the light and been an example of rebellion at its best. At one time she'd believed that was enough; _to be the light she expected everyone else to see._ But she'd been wrong.

Her light had been tainted by the loss of her son. And her husband. Luke had been the latest in a long line of loss that were the people in her life. The death of her brother had been bad, but it had paled in comparison to the loss of Han. The gaping void that his death had left in her soul was something she would never fully recover from. But of all the people she'd said goodbye to, it had been her son that had broken her into pieces.

From the moment she'd felt him move inside her, she'd been lost. The whisps of his building power in the Force had been like staring at the sun. She'd been thrilled that the Skywalker and Solo lines wouldn't end with them or Han. But as she approached her due date, Leia could feel the power growing within her son. She'd known it was a boy since the second month, but she'd kept that to herself until the last few weeks. Luke had also felt his sister's child, but he'd kept it to himself, at her request.

Han hadn't ever considered what it would mean to be a 'father'. He'd never had one himself and the idea of a 'small human' scared the Bantha crap out of him. That fear had been palpable, and Leia had felt the unsure concern emanating from the child. She'd done her best to reassure her terrified husband, but Han had been _Han_ about the whole thing. It had been Luke's fears that had surprised her.

Ben Solo had been a beautiful black-haired child with innocent eyes and an expressive face. Of course, all parents believe their children are beautiful, but Leia had been certain of it. The iridescent light of his Force presence had eclipsed everything around him. But as he'd grown, that light had slowly been infiltrated by tendrils of darkness. His anger had ebbed and flowed like the tides. Sometimes he was hurt or afraid of the increasing hostility he felt from those around him. It had been the quiet conversations between his mother and father that slowly spread the dark threads through his light, causing increasing damage. The _talks_ that had happened behind closed doors; the ones they believed he knew nothing about.

They'd been wrong. He'd known. Eventually, the word _monster_ and _darkside_ became linked to the name of Ben Solo. They never said these things out loud, at least not if they believed he was anywhere around. But words weren't the only way to communicate fear and distrust.

Leia had never even entertained that she would lose her only son to the darkside. That he would seek something there that he wasn't finding at home. So she'd sent him to Luke and that was when his overtones of betrayal and abandonment had splintered Ben's light in the Force. He'd cut himself off from her after that. She couldn't access his emotions anymore, couldn't _feel_ him within the Force. It had felt as though someone had reached in and ripped out her heart. And that was before she lost Han. He'd gone back to the only life he'd ever felt comfortable with…and so had she. Neither of them had sought the other out for more than a decade; and they _never_ spoke of their son again.

She had _felt_ it the moment Ben had made the decision to end Rey's life. To grant the scavenger the peace she so desperately wanted. Leia couldn't allow that; she knew what Ben had yet to understand; he'd given his heart and soul to the girl. Killing her would fracture what was left of him and he would never recover. Losing Padme had been the cause of her Anakin's fall; it would happen again if Ben followed through on his impulse.

So, in that moment, Leia had gathered her light within the Force, and she'd used her final moments to send her hope, love and acceptance of her son pouring along a pulsing Force connection. Leia wasn't even sure if it was Ben she was feeling, but she had to trust the Force.

She wasn't sure it would work, but she hoped; they hadn't been in contact since he'd been fifteen. Yet when she'd dug through her emotions, she'd found that tendril of a connection had still been there. Damaged and unsteady, but it was there.

In her last moments, Leia had tapped into those lines of energy and emotion, allowed her consciousness to slip along that dark path and infiltrate his mind filling it with everything she'd been unable to express for the past thirteen years. Her mind shouted a denial at the raw open pain she encountered inside his mind. He felt so alone that she nearly recoiled in horror. He'd made no friends among Snoke's followers, he wasn't allowed to interact outside of the missions assigned by the supreme leader.

The Sith Lord had isolated Ben, kept him from other Force-sensitive beings to ensure he never felt a connection with anyone but Snoke. And he'd used _pain_ to mold and control her son's mind. Her soul screamed out at the pain her son had endured. Unlike the Jedi, the dark lord had hurt Ben to keep him in line. He'd suffered humiliation, indignity and injuries that should have left him in a puddle on the ground. But Ben had truly been his parent's son. He was strong in the face of adversity and he'd managed to take everything that Snoke had devised, using it to fortify his skills within the Force.

And yet as she connected with his mind, she could clearly see how he'd been lied to, manipulated and twisted by the leader of the First Order. Snoke had promised Ben a place where he would be accepted for who he was and instead he'd been reviled and feared to the point of desertion by those sworn to serve his master. A single tear slipped past Leia's clenched eyelids; she hadn't known. None of them had known how thoroughly Ben had been tortured both emotionally and physically.

While his first fifteen years had been difficult, there had at least been joy in them; but his last thirteen years had been a nightmare of soul-wrenching heartache and isolation.

She couldn't blame Luke for his doubts, she and Han had had them too. But Leia did blame herself for the decision to send away her only son. Ben had once been a brilliant source of light and promise in the Force. But that light had been shot through with elements of darkness…just as his grandfather's had been.

The Skywalkers were a flawed family with equal measures of light and dark swirling through them. They weren't some mythic source of all things 'good' in the galaxy. They had been, still were, a family full of doubts and fears, just like any other family.

But the Solos were even more flawed.

Han had been an orphan. And growing up on Corelia relying on no one but himself, he had never done well when confronted with commitment. He'd had serious doubts when she'd revealed she was pregnant; their son, Ben, had represented a tether that Han hadn't been ready to accept.

Although, he had loved his dark-haired son with every fiber of his being, Han Solo had never been good with emotions and that inability to share his _love_ had damaged his young son's heart and soul in ways that had eventually destroyed his light.

She'd seen it happening, but Leia had been unable to stop the damage…and they had lost Ben because of it. But now, she had a chance to bring him back. To allow that last spark of slowly fading light to shine through the oppressive darkness of his choices.

And yet, if she was really honest with herself, it hadn't been her that broke through the black webs that had spidered Ben's light, it had been Rey. The scavenger girl from Jakku had penetrated the wall of Ben Solo's emotions in a way that his parents hadn't been able to. She'd managed to bring his humanity back from the darkside.

XXXX

Ren felt every inch of the burning pain as the fluctuating energy of his own lightsaber pierced his stomach wall. The mortal injury was overshadowed by his violent emotions, his entire body going numb with the shock. Kylo's heart broke at the suddenly blank spot within the Force, the void left by the sudden absence of his mother's light.

His dark eyes had been focused on Rey and he'd seen the moment she'd realized that Leia had passed from this world and into the next.

And even her sacrifice had been too late to save him from Rey's wrath.

The scavenger had seized the moment of his distraction to take up his fallen lightsaber to run him through, ending the tyranny of Kylo Ren. The jagged wound had been immediately cauterized, but his shock at Rey's act and his mother's death had ripped him apart.

The strength that he'd relied up had abandoned him, his long legs collapsing until he landed on the wet metal platform of the wrecked death star. Ren's physical agony was forgotten under the enormous weight of devastating emotional loss.

He'd never been willing to admit it, not even to himself, but there had always been a secret hope that he would reconcile with his mother. That desire had been buried so deeply inside him that he'd only realized it existed when she was gone, and the chance was forever lost to him.

It had never been anything more than a dream. The moment that Ren had ignited his red lightsaber and it had penetrated Han Solo's chest, Kylo had known he'd made the wrong choice. Where he'd expected to feel nothing had been slicing pain, grief and indecision. It hadn't been relief or easy acceptance of his decision that had enveloped him, it had been doubt and a profound regret that swallowed him whole. He'd believed that Snoke's instructions would lead to his release from the conflicting emotional stalemate that battered him throughout his life, but it hadn't. Instead he'd been more conflicted than ever. Conflicted and volatile.

Ren's eyes shifted up through the cold spray of ocean water and watched as her hazel eyes filled with tears. She was silhouetted against the deep gray of the distant skyline and the rise and fall deadly waves that were hundreds of feet high. Her face was open, projecting all of the emotions he couldn't. Rey's hand had fallen away, her shoulders dropping at the knowledge that she'd struck him down in a moment of anger and fear. She slowly sank to her knees in front of him, her breathing hitched and rapid. Like him, she'd felt the gaping maw within the Force, the emptiness left by his mother's death.

A small insecure part of Ren wondered if her sorrow was due to his impending death, or just sorrow that she'd finally become a victim of violent emotions.

He'd never given much thought to what happened when one died. He knew that his choices meant he wouldn't have a peaceful Jedi death. The king referred to in the Jedi texts where the body fades away as the soul is drawn back into the Force and welcomed by fellow Jedi. No, he'd done terrible things in his life and that meant he was no more allowed that type of peaceful existence than he could have a life with Rey.

It didn't matter how he felt, he'd done nothing to balance the heinous acts he'd performed as Kylo Ren, so Ben Solo was as damned as he was.

His dark eyes had searched hers, but then she'd done the unexpected, she'd reached out, her long fingers spreading over his shuddering abdomen. Fire ignited throughout his torso. Kylo had never felt anything like it, the heat and her desire for life, it flowed from her into him. It hadn't been a desire for him, at least not in a sexual way…it had been Rey's intense _desire_ that he live; that he _heal._ The internal organs knitted themselves together and the muscle slowly regained its solid shape allowing the skin to seal as though the fatal strike had never happened. Slowly his ragged stilted breathing had given way to easier breaths. He'd stared up at her in shocked silence. How did one react to something like that? To the knowledge that a person you'd hurt so deeply would willingly give you the gift of _life._

During his time within the Jedi temple, he'd read every sacred text and he'd never heard of such a thing. One person tapping into their own _lifeforce_ and passing it into another being; healing catastrophic or fatal wounds in the process.

Those _sacred _texts were the only reason he'd known anything about a dyad in the force. But they'd never mentioned Force-healing.

The idea of a dyad wasn't exactly something that the Sith spoke of. To his knowledge dyads had never been seen within the ranks of the Sith. But the _Jedi_, who chronicled everything, had understood that the Force would create connections between souls during times of great imbalance. Those souls would retain the _essence_, the _balance _between the light and the dark.

He pulled in several breaths, allowing his lungs to expand and contract with his new lease on life. The one he'd been granted by Rey. She was something truly pure and rare…his heart swelled with unfamiliar emotions when he considered the gift she'd given him.

In saving his life, Rey had conferred a value on it. That was a _currency_ that he did not know how to spend.

Lifeforce didn't pass from one being to another easily; and it didn't come without great cost to the giver. She had _given_ a part of herself to him and that piece now lived within him, as part of him; just like the undeniable part of his father and now his mother.

Rey sank back onto her heels, her eyes brimming with very real tears. The emotion he saw there was raw and honest. It hurt to look at her beautiful face and know that _he_ was the cause of that.

She blinked, slowly retracting her hand and setting it in her lap, her voice wavered as she spoke. "I did want to take your hand." Her breathing hitched and tears began to stream down her cheeks at the admission. An admission that she would've taken to her grave under other circumstances. The tears mixed with the saltwater from the sea and disappeared.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Rey was actually telling him exactly what he wanted to hear. He'd wanted to hear it since the moment she destroyed his peaceful nights. He'd tried to get Rey to take his hand, to give herself over to the web of darkness he's sensed within her, but she'd stubbornly refused. And he hadn't understood why. He did now. It wasn't who she was; Rey was the hero, not the villain.

No, the villain in their story was _him. _The strength of his internal rejection at that thought surprised him.

But her next words left him with no illusion as to which version of _him _she'd wanted to save.

"Ben's hand." Her voice shook and she stared into his eyes for several moments before finally looking away.

And then she was gone, like a ghost. He watched helplessly as she stole his Tie-Silencer and went…who knew where. He hadn't sensed any destination in her mind when she'd flown away, leaving him stranded on this alien planet inside the remnants of the Empire's second Death Star.

The familiar engines of a freighter caught his attention and he'd watched in rapt silence as his father's ship had sped past him too, leaving feeling every bit as isolated and abandoned as he had as a child. But this time he knew _why_ they had chosen to leave him. With a pained gasp he'd slowly gathered his long legs under himself and pushed up into a standing position. _Now what? I am alone and I can't go back to the First Order. _His eyes lifted to the empty skies above him, _and I can't abandon Rey._

He couldn't kill her. Truthfully, he hadn't been able to kill her before all of this, but _now_ he was no more capable of killing her than he had been his mother. She had gained her freedom; Rey was forever safe from Kylo Ren.

He stared out at the violent crashing ocean as it heaved and surged against the remnants of the battle station. It was the truest representation of his emotional state that he'd ever seen.

He even felt _different_, but he couldn't say exactly why. Little had changed. Okay, well, Rey had saved him, but that was it. Except now he could feel her in a way that was both unsettling and thrilling. She burned as brightly within his mind as his mother had. He was in love with her…he _loved_ her; beyond reason, beyond hope, Kylo Ren loved the scavenger. It didn't matter how often that sentiment repeated inside his head, it remained true and that was terrifying.

"Hey kid."

Han Solo's voice was the last thing he'd expected to hear in that moment. Turning, Kylo looked at the man he both loved and hated. At least he thought he _hated_ him. But as he stared at the man that he'd revered as a child, Ren was surprised to find nothing but love and regret. The unconditional acceptance in his father's eyes was wholly unexpected and it pierced the walls of his heart.

His father's face had filled with a slight smile, though he made no move toward Kylo. His blue eyes were soft and pleading. "I miss you son."

Han's admission of love surprised Ren. He didn't know what he'd expected, but this wasn't it. "Your son is dead."

Han took a few steps, "No. Kylo Ren is dead. My son is alive."

He swallowed. He wanted to believe that his father could forgive his rash act on the bridge of Starkiller, but he didn't believe it; he couldn't. "You're just a memory."

Smiling, his father tilted his head. "Your memory." Han responded softly. His voice was gravelly with all the emotions he wasn't sharing. "Come home." He finished.

Pain lanced through him, "It's too late. She's gone." Saying it out loud somehow made the loss of his mother so much worse.

"Your mother's gone. But what she stood for…what she fought for, that's not gone."

The words bypassed his pain and Ren stared at his father in shocked silence for a few moments.

"Ben." The longing in his father's use of his given name hurt to hear.

"I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it." The words he'd used on the bridge in Starkiller Base rang through him again. And it was true. He _did_ know. His ather had been right, Rey had killed someone on that broken death star, but it hadn't been Ben Solo…Kylo Ren had died the moment she'd run his lightsaber through his stomach. It had been _Ben_ that she'd saved when she'd shared her lifeforce. The moment he admitted that to himself, he felt the mantle of Kylo Ren slip away leaving only Ben Solo behind.

The feeling of his father's hand resting gently against his cheek sent tremors of remorse tripping through him. Ben couldn't stop the torrents of emotion that the simple gesture stirred inside him. It was the same as that last physical contact he'd had with his father…after activating his lightsaber and taking Han Solo's life.

Funny, Ben couldn't remember the last time he'd felt his mother's touch, but his father's? That was so very very clear. His breathing hitched with the knowledge that he'd never have the chance to make things right with his mother. To stand before her, holding the hand of the women _he_'d fallen in love with and share that combined joy with her. That chance had been stolen from him; by his own foolish decisions.

"You do." Han finished quietly. His eyes full of love and forgiveness that Ben wasn't sure he could ever earn.

He lifted the t-shaped saber, his grip loose, just like it had been the last time he'd offered it to his father. But this time he had every intention of handing it over. Memory or not, Ben was done with Kylo Ren. He was ready to accept who he was…the last Skywalker. His eyes burned with complex emotions as he said, "Dad…" The feelings warring inside him broke his voice and he was unable to say anything else.

A slow smile spread across Han's face and his own eyes welled in the face of his son's return to the light. "I know." He said simply.

Spinning, Ben heaved the physical representation of Kylo Ren as far from him as he could. The black hilt disappeared into the distance before dropping into the vast ocean, drowning the last evidence of his defection. He watched until it sank beneath the waves and then turned back expecting to see the manifestation of his father; but he was alone. Ben's eyes dropped and he pulled in an unstable breath as his thoughts turned to…_Rey._

One thought extinguishing everything else he'd been through, _protect Rey._

_Exegol – Rey_

Rey stared at the personification of evil that also happened to be the only family she had left. She could feel the power of the darkside radiating from him in a way that turned her stomach and made her wish she'd never learned the truth of her heritage. He watched her, those blank eyes burring into her. Rey could feel his evaluation of her character like a knife through her heart. She didn't want this. She didn't want to be a Palpatine. If she was honest with herself, she'd rather have been Rey from Nowhere.

But she wasn't. Like Ben Solo, she was descended from power incarnate. While he was the light, she was the dark. At least as far as their heritages were concerned, their choices made them both something else entirely. So much power at their fingertips. They could turn the tides of war. Depending on which side they chose to stand on. And whether or not they stood together or apart. Her heart clenched at the mere thought of him. She wanted to save him so badly. Despite the grotesque acts he'd undertaken as Kylo Ren, Rey's heart belonged to him. And that pain was so much worse than anything she'd ever expected.

Ben Solo was lost to her. She had to accept that and carve out a place for herself in the galaxy; one where she wasn't the granddaughter of the most feared man in the history of…well, everything.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Thank you to all who have reviewed or are now following this story. Finn and Poe will make their presence known in the next chapter…that should be fun for Ben and Rey. (dripping in sarcasm there)_

**Please take a minute to review…**


	4. The Fall of the Sith

**Chapter Four**: _The Fall of the Sith_

_Exegol - Rey & Ben_

The chanting from the Sith loyalists sent a chill through her. Rey wondered if this was what true _evil _sounded like. Turning, her eyes widened at the throngs of beings staring down at her from the stands. There were so many that she couldn't even fathom their numbers. How was the resistance supposed to fight this? They'd lost Leia, Han, Luke and most of their fleet. The resistance numbers had dwindled to only a handful. _We don't stand a chance._

The darkness surrounding her seemed to press in, sucking away her light. She could only hope that her message had been received by 3PO's network of droid spies. The galaxy was depending on that message and the resistance's ability to decode and follow it. She'd seen the nearly endless lines of mega-class star destroyers and Rey understood that once they exited this system, the rest of the galaxy would be at their mercy.

She walked through the stone archway and stopped beneath a huge stone throne. It was terrifying in its implication; this was the _seat_ of the Sith power. She turned as the loyalist began chanting again. For all the languages she understood, she had no idea what they were saying. But they _were_ saying in 'one' voice, which meant trouble for her.

"Long have I waited." The gravelly use of a voice that didn't speak much left nothing to the imagination. Rey knew who had spoken. "For my grandchild to come home." She focused on simply breathing. "I never wanted you dead. I wanted you here, Empress Palpatine."

Hearing him call her by _that name_ sent icy fear through her. She wasn't a Palpatine. She'd rather be dead. At her core, Rey knew that she was more than her name, but she wanted so badly to be _someone_ that this whole thing felt like a cruel cosmic joke.

"It is your birthright to rule, here. It is in your blood. Our blood." He finished.

Slowly, she began backing away from the monster claiming to be her _family._ "I haven't come to lead the Sith. I've come to end them."

"As a Jedi?"

"Yes."

His head tilted to the side and he stared down at her in disgust. "No. Your hatred Your anger. You want to kill me. That is what I want."

Rey's eyebrows drew together and tried desperately to understand the game he was playing. She wished, in this moment, that Ben was with her. He understood the darkside better than she ever could.

The emperor continued, "Kill me and my spirit will pass into you; as all the Sith live in me. You will be empress. We will be one."

_No._ Her mind screamed. She could not allow that. Even the thought that he could somehow _live_ inside her was terrifying. The chanting increased to deafening roar and she nearly stumbled under the weight of it. She'd come alone…and that had been her mistake. Rey wasn't stronger alone, she was weaker.

"The time has come!" The emperor's arms spread wide. He lifted his milky eyes to the stands.

Rey turned; the masses settled into their seated positions; like a show was ready to start.

"With your hatred you will take my life, and you will ascend."

The fire that always burned within her flared to life with those words. She would _not_ become what he had foreseen. "All you want is for me to hate, but I won't. Not even you." And she meant it. While he'd single-handedly destroyed the life she _could_ have had, would she have become the person that was now without him? Probably not. It was possible, that like Ben Solo she would have been bowed under the weight of her family name.

His eyes narrowed and his face took on a stony quality. "Weak. Like your parents."

Her blood boiled at the mere mention of her parents and what they'd sacrificed for her. It was his fault that she'd grown up alone, believing that her family had abandoned her on Jakku. "My parents were strong." She spat back. Her anger roiling just beneath the surface. "They saved me from you."

"Your master Luke Skywalker was saved by his father. The only family you have here, is me."

The truth behind his words struck her straight in the heart, she truly was _alone_. And yet she would still fight, down to her very last breath. Because it wasn't just herself, she was fighting for, it was Finn and Poe, Chewbacca and every other resistance fighter still out there.

She _would not_ fail them.

Lifting his head, the stone above them slowly split apart revealing and aerial battle silhouetted against the dark stormy sky. Resistance fighters were scrambling to find an attack point against the more massive Final Order star destroyers, and they were losing.

"They don't have long. No one is coming to help them. And you are the one who led them here. Strike me down. Take the throne, reign over a new empire and the fleet will be yours. Only you have the power to save them." He paused for a moment to allow that to weigh down on her shoulders. "Refuse and your new _family_ dies. It was a simple exchange. Her loyalty for their lives.

XXXX

For once Ben was grateful for his ability to perfectly recall anything he'd ever seen or read. He'd searched the wreckage of the death star and finally found a few of the old class Tie-fighters and they were still in working order. Then he'd followed the same insane path to the unknown regions, expertly navigating the gravity wells and energy pulsing radiation spots. He'd made it to the hidden world of the Sith without incident. Exegol, lay buried inside of deadly atmospheric conditions of the unknown regions.

He'd pushed the old machine to its max and found that he missed the speed and precision of his Tie-Whisperer. These old fighters didn't bank well and their responses to the pilot weren't as fast as he was used to. He'd broken through the edge of the unknown regions and swallowed his rising concern at the number of resistance craft he saw flitting through the dark sky.

He was in an enemy fighter; they would never know he was there to save Rey. If he was honest, they probably wouldn't have cared, and he'd have been blown out of the sky on principal alone.

Ben slipped past two X-wings as they engaged the large energy canons of a star destroyer and managed to land without incident. He dropped down from the fighter, his legs nearly buckling from the forced inactivity of his flight. Steadying himself he grabbed the blaster from the compartment near the left wing and then turned. He'd recognize that old X-wing anywhere. That had been Luke's, and no one had seen it after his uncle had disappeared. He'd figured that it had been destroyed decades ago. Somehow that old bucket of bolts had brought Rey to this place. A tiny piece of him wondered what had happened to his Tie-Silencer?

Casting that piece away, he took off running toward the entrance of the Sith temple.

XXXX

Rey couldn't watch it any longer. She didn't know which pilots had died as two fighters had been obliterated by the powerful guns of the Final Order's fleet. But if there was even a chance that she'd retain enough of herself to _want_ to save them, then she had to take it. This was her fault. She had sent them the coordinates and they were dying because of her villainous family. She turned back toward Palpatine and gave a slight nod. It made her tremble inside at the thought of giving herself over to her parent's murderer. But what choice did she have?

He smiled, his blackened lips splitting apart in a sick display. "Good."

XXXX

Ben could feel something happening inside the temple. Rey's light was dimming and the darkness surrounding Palpatine was growing at a commensurate rate. _Don't give in to him Rey. Don't believe him. Whatever he's promising…don't believe him_.

He redoubled his efforts and forced more speed from his already weary body. The floating slap of rock above him sucked up the light and Ben had to concentrate harder as he ran. His eyes dropped to the open shaft and massive chain on the other side. He couldn't go around it and it was the only way down to the level where Palpatine resided. He willed his legs to jump and tapped into the Force, using that power to execute a leap that was well beyond that of a human.

Thrusting his arms out, the right side of his body slammed into the unforgiving metal. His chest seemed to absorb most of the impact, but that didn't mean it was pleasant. Pain blossomed along the front of his body and the only thing he could say was, "Ow."

XXXX

"The ritual begins."

The chanting increased again and everything inside Rey was screaming at her to run. Get away from this place before she made everything worse.

"She will strike me down and pledge herself as a Sith."

XXXX

Ben didn't need to look for his enemies as he ran. He could _feel_ their murderous intensions before he ever saw them. He blasted one without slowing and another without turning. Skidding around a corner he stopped and took aim for the first time. But there was nothing there. He sprinted forward again, the blasted held tightly in his right hand.

Ahead of him he saw the threat he'd been forewarned about. Two of his Knights of Ren stepped from behind a stone wall. He stumbled to a stop as recognition settled in. Vicrul and Ushar, moved as one, closing the distance between them in quick staccato steps. The Force rippled with power. Ben could feel the untrained darkness writhing inside the lead Knight. The latent darkside within Vicrul was screaming for release, for Ben's death at the end of the scythe blade. Cardo followed; his arm canon ready to annihilate any enemy. Ben knew that he was in trouble. He might have been able to take Cardo and Ushar without a weapon, but Vicrul was another story. These soldiers hadn't achieved this status by accident. They were as skilled at hand to hand combat as he was. Vicrul had untrained abilities in the Force, which made him the most dangerous of the six. The only advantage Ben had ever had was his skills with a lightsaber.

Now he didn't even have that. Which meant he was probably going to die. A second pull on the Force had him shifting his eyes over his left shoulder. And then he saw the other three Knights. Trudgen had shouldered his ultrasonic blade; he wasn't moving at the moment. Kuruk and Ap'Lek kept walking in slow easy movements. They could read the body language of the other three Knights; each one shifted accordingly.

Ben watched the whole thing happen with a sick feeling inside his gut, he really was screwed.

Slowly they circled around him adjusting into an attack pattern. One Ben had trained them in. It was used for more powerful opponents, which at least meant they still respected his skills. Which really was saying something. There was no one in the galaxy that the Knights of Ren feared; but they were also smart enough to know a strong opponent when they faced one. And Ben had been a very strong opponent indeed.

XXXX

"She will draw her weapon."

Rey tried to drown out the chanting. Slowly her fingers dropped, and she unclipped Luke's lightsaber. With quick flick of her thumb, she ignited it. A crash above her told her another resistance fighter had fallen. She wanted to cry at the wasted life. None of this should be happening. The Emperor was supposed to have died when Darth Vader returned to the light, but that hadn't happened. He was still alive and ready to enslave the galaxy once again.

"She will come to me."

Slowly, her feet carried her forward. The loyalists continued to chant.

XXXX

Ben did the best he could with almost no weapons. He managed to throw off Ushar and Cardo as they struck out first. At least until Kuruk stepped up to his left and slammed the end of his staff into Ben's face stunning him momentarily. He staggered to the right under the power of the blow. Directly Vicrul's vicious strike across his right cheekbone. Ben's head snapped to the left. He'd barely had time to regain his balance when another violent strike from Ushar collided with his stomach. His air was forced from his body and he doubled over with the pain and shock of the blow. His right leg collapsed, and he struggled to remain on his knees while trying to pull some much-needed air.

This was going pretty much how he'd expected. _I'm losing. _

A vicious downward slash from Ap'lek sent his head slamming to the side again and pricks of light invaded his vision. Pain, his head was nothing but pain and the sticky wetness that came with contusions.

Rey's light dimmed even further, and Ben forced himself back into a kneeling position. He had to take control of his pain. Snoke had believed that pain could be harnessed to focus the mind when the body was failing; Ben used those many lessons now.

XXXX

Palpatine wasn't done instructing Rey yet and with every step she took, she felt like a traitor. Even to save her friends, she knew they wouldn't have asked this of her. In fact, Finn would have shaken her for even thinking such a sacrifice was necessary.

"She will take her revenge."

XXXX

Only his _will_ allowed him to find the strength to clamber back to his unsteady legs. Ben's choice was made. He would not abandon Rey now. He stared out at the men he'd led for more than ten years. He knew them as intimately as he knew himself. They had shared the battlefield on so many occasions that it was hard to separate his accomplishments from theirs. But they _weren't friends_. He didn't have friends.

That had been the cardinal rule for the Knights, never address one another outside of their masks. Violating that rule was grounds for death. And since Snoke couldn't very well execute his only Force user, he left the threat of their lives hanging around Ben's neck. If _he_ violated the supreme leader's rules, then he would be the one to kill them…after removing their masks.

They shifted uncomfortably at the intensity on his face. He knew they could see he was beaten, at least physically. But they understood his power in a way very few First Order soldiers did. Just because his physical body was failing didn't mean his Force energy was in any way diminished. He refused to give them the satisfaction of wearing any emotions on his face.

Desperately he tried to reach out to Rey again, the bond remained sealed and it seemed to be impervious to his pleading.

XXXX

"And with a stroke of her saber the Sith are reborn."

Slowly, she lifted the saber next to her shoulder. Her heart was hammering inside her head and she couldn't catch her breath. Was she really going to do this? _Could_ she?

"The JEDI ARE DEAD!" Palpatine shouted to the thunderous chanting of his loyalists.

A sudden calming sensation settled over her and Rey felt the Force bond slide open. Her first thought was relief, she wasn't alone, Ben had come. He was here, with her and they could turn the tide if they chose to stand together. It was the easiest decision she'd ever made. All she had ever wanted was to have Ben stand next to her, as an equal, as a partner in the Force. She could sense the same resolve and hope inside him.

She looked at him and her heart ached at the damage to his face, damage he had sustained while trying to reach her. To stop her from giving herself up as a sacrifice to the Sith. And yet his eyes were steady and his expression one of solidarity. They were together in this. She swallowed against her rising fears. They could do this…_she_ could do this.

Ben stared at her through their bond. He'd been so close to losing her that it hurt to even consider what might have happened if he'd been even one minute later. Her eyes were determined, and her expression matched his. If they were going to die, they would do that together too. She tilted her eyes, instantly communicating her intentions.

He gave her the slightest nod, one that the Knights wouldn't even register; but she would. It was all he could offer at the moment, though he wanted to give her everything. Their current situations weren't exactly great, and he didn't want to give away the only advantage they still had.

Palpatine knew nothing of their bond and they needed to keep it that way. He readied himself, carefully lifting his right hand and allowing it to reach behind his back. The sudden weight of the lightsaber was like grasping a lifeline. _Now_ he had a chance against the Knights of Ren. And Rey had a chance against the Pretorian guard that he knew would be surrounding Palpatine.

She felt the weight disappear from her fingers. Rey watched as Ben removed the ignited saber from behind his back. She couldn't see the reaction of who he was fighting, but she could imagine they'd backed up at the sight. Ben had lowered the blue saber to his side and then sent out a challenge in the form of a gesture that reminded her so much of his father that her heart skipped a beat. And then he was gone, the door of the bond had closed again.

XXXX

His weight shifted to the right and Ben swung the blue saber in an arc that backed the Knights up even further. He wasn't about to allow them to get too close again. One of them didn't move fast enough, the blade sliced across Ushar's helmet and he fell back. The other five immediately went into defensive mode. They'd sparred with him often and Snoke had never allowed them to hold back. Nor had he allowed Ben to pull his strikes or dance around the fight. He was all power and violent action. The only difference this time was that Ben didn't actually want to be fighting these men. There was nothing inside him that wanted to take their lives, but he knew there could be no other outcome. The Knights of Ren were trained from the time they could walk, and they were single-minded in their pursuit of orders. Their current orders were to _kill_ him, and he wasn't under any illusion that he could change their minds.

XXXX

Rey reached behind her for the second lightsaber, Leia's saber. The inlaid handle was cool in her hand and the weight was perfect for her smaller hands. This truly was a weapon designed for a woman by a woman. It felt like an extension of her arm in a way that Luke's never had. _It feels right._

The pretorian were stalking toward her, their red robes swirling about their booted feet. Their red energy weapons at the ready. A blast came from somewhere behind her, she deflected it with the Force; it slammed into the shooter's chest. He crumpled to the ground. She sent more blaster fire sailing past into another guard on the other side of the circle.

XXXX

Ben continued to cut through the men he'd once led with little regard as to how they fell. He could feel their hatred of him through the Force. He could give no quarter or leniency with them; he'd be skewered by their deadly weapons if he did.

He'd killed two, four were still trying to separate his head from his shoulders. He called upon every ounce of training he'd ever received and threw it into his fighting style. It was an effort to confuse them. Ben felt it the moment one of them got behind his back, leaning over he laid the saber along his spine allowing the potentially lethal strike to shear up and away from his vulnerable body. He blew out a breath before quickly spinning to reengage his enemies. Using the Force, he thrust one of them backwards into an open pit before stabbing another one through the chest.

The last opponent was several meters from him, allowing the Force to flow through him and carry his weight he leapt toward the final Knight. Twisting in the air, he grabbed the shoulder plate and landed in a balanced stance behind Vicrul and drove his blade through from the back. He felt the weight give way as the final block between him and Rey died at his feet.

He stopped for a moment, taking in what he'd just done. And then he'd tried to reach out to Rey, but her mind was engaged in a battle that he didn't dare distract her from.

Spinning, he took off running toward the main chamber. The one where he'd first met the Emperor.

XXXX

Rey called upon the force to throw the red-cloaked guards away from her even as she drove Leia's lightsaber through another one of them. They continued trying to take her down with blaster fire, which she easily deflected into their quickly dwindling ranks.

The Emperor watched the entire thing with building anger.

Dropping down, Rey sent the energy pulsing through the Force and slamming the guard into the stone floor before she sent him flying backwards into a ventilation shaft. Tufts of red shot upward as he was torn apart by the powerful blades.

The last guard had been thrown several meters away and when she turned back to finish him. She was frozen by what she saw. Something pulled the guard away and he skimmed across the rock away from her revealing Ben Solo.

He wasn't wearing any of the armor she'd always seen him in as Kylo Ren. He was simply _Ben_. The blue of Luke's blade lit the area around him, and she'd never seen anything so glorious in all her life.

He closed the distance between them, saying nothing as he stared at her. He didn't have to say anything, everything that had needed to be expressed had been in the one tiny nod. They were _together_ on this. His face was battered; and he was breathing hard, but he was alive…and he was here. They turned as one unit, lifting the twin sabers in a show of unity and defiance.

"Stand together, die together." He bit out the threat through blackened lips. His face twisting into sick version of a human expression. Lifting his hands, he accessed the darkside and captured both Rey and Ben in a Force hold they were helpless to escape. The lightsabers went skittering across the rock floor. He lifted them up and pulled their bodies closer. He wanted to see their eyes when he filled them full of Force lightning. To hear their skin as it sizzled under the might of his power.

The rebound of power that shot out of them was wholly unexpected. It hurt and it began to immediately regenerate the necrotic tissue of his decaying fingers. _Life Force?_ He stared at them as new knowledge dawned upon him.

"The life force of your bond…a dyad in the Force." He held up his hands watching with fascination as he was restored. "A power like life itself."

Ben watched with a sinking realization as Palpatine discovered another way to rule the galaxy. This had been his biggest fear from the moment he'd set foot on Exegol. The bond between himself and Rey could also be used to restore life. He hadn't realized it until the moment she'd healed him after their fight. That power wasn't something a Jedi could learn; it was either granted by the Force or it was not. And only a dyad could survive the transfer because it spread the power across two souls instead of one.

"A power not seen for generations. And now the power of two restores the one true Emperor."

It felt as though someone was sucking her very insides out through her chest. The pain was indescribable as her body began to weaken. Rey couldn't stop the cry from slipping past her lips. She wanted to look at Ben, to see if he was hurting too, but she couldn't move.

Ben never made a sound. He'd endured agonizing pain before, and he'd learned to do so in silence. His body shook with the power that was siphoned away from him. His soul cried out to Rey, trying to beg her to hold on a little longer. And suddenly it was over.

Unconsciousness wrapped around his awareness like a black shroud. He couldn't have fought it if he'd wanted to, but he'd already seen Rey collapse and he couldn't _feel_ her inside his head. If she was dead, then he didn't want to survive anyway.

XXXX

Slowly, awareness returned, and Ben could feel every blow he'd taken over the past few days resonating through his body. Pain lit up his nerve endings and exploded inside his head. He felt weak, tired, and a bit disoriented as he rolled from his back to his side. His gaze landed on Rey's unmoving form and his breath froze until he saw her breathing.

_She's alive. _It was a small victory, but one that he grabbed ahold of even as he willed his muscles to respond. The moment the Emperor felt turn his attention toward Ben, he knew he was dead. The power radiating from Darth Sidious was so overwhelming that it seemed to crush Ben's access to the Force. He couldn't do anything but watch in horror as the darkside reached out through the Emperor and heaved Ben up from the floor.

"As once I fell, so falls the _last_ Skywalker."

Ben was flung away from Palpatine. His body collided with the edge of a great gaping chasm. He felt his right leg slam into the stone as his momentum carried him over the edge. Another outcropping caught the edge of his hip and shoulder and suddenly he was falling.

The only thing he could think of was Rey. She couldn't survive another attack by Palpatine, and Ben couldn't leave her alone to face him. Using every last ounce of strength that he still had, he clawed at the rocks as they sped past his falling body.

XXXX

Rey's return to consciousness was painful. Her chest hurt where her lifeforce had been stolen from her. She looked to her left and realized that Ben was gone; she was alone. That scared her more than the evil that stared down at her in contempt. She knew that Ben hadn't left her of his own will, which meant that he'd come to first and Palpatine had done something to him.

Rolling onto her back she stared up at the aerial battle. Her friends were losing, and they were going to die if she didn't find a way to stop it. Her mind wandered back to the forest training run. She'd attempted to hear the Jedi that had come before her but had failed.

Now, at this final moment Rey understood why. She hadn't believed that they were really out there, that she could call upon them for strength and guidance. She sent her Force out from her battered body. Past the resistance fighters and the star destroyers, out into the cosmos and she called with her entire being.

"Be with me." It was a prayer not of desperation but of hope. "Be with me." She watched as another resistance vessel started to spiral down. "Be with me."

She didn't know the names of the Jedi that began speaking to her. But the brilliance of their combined Force energy was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

"These are your final steps. Rise and take them."

"Rey."

A woman's voice, "Rey."

"Bring back the balance Rey. As I did."

It was like suddenly understanding her place in the cosmos. How the entire thing fit together like a tapestry of life. She wasn't alone. She'd _never _been alone.

"Alone, never have you been."

"Every Jedi who has ever lived, lives in you."

They started talking quicker. Overlapping one another and making it hard for her to understand what each of them said, but she _felt_ every word and the truth behind those words.

"Feel the force flowing through you, Rey."

"Let it guide you."

"Rise, Rey."

And then she heard a voice she _did_ know…Master Skywalker. "In the heart of a Jedi lies her power." She rolled to her knees and forced her damaged body to obey her will. With every voice she heard, Rey felt her power growing. Her breathing was loud and her body was awash in pain, but slowly she managed to find the strength to rise.

Luke wasn't done with her yet, "Rey, the Force will be with you. Always." he said gently.

She called Leia's lightsaber to her hand, igniting it before she'd even fully grasped it. Her path was set before her, all she had to do was walk down it. Burying her grief at the unknown fate of Ben Solo, Rey set her jaw and readied for the fight of her life. This was a fight she would not lose; because she wasn't alone in it. She could _feel_ every one of the Jedi standing beside and behind her, their combined Force energies were at her disposal.

The Emperor stared in disbelief at the stubborn child looking at him with contempt. He stood up, gathering the Force-lightening. "Let your death be the final word in the story of rebellion." He sent the power racing toward his only remaining family in the galaxy. Once she was gone there would be no one that could stand against him.

Rey instinctively caught the energy on the plasma blade of her saber. It burned down her arm and through her body, but she held her ground. Allowing the Force to use her as a focal point for the power of the Light. She poured her anger and her desperation into her stance.

"You are nothing. A scavenger girl is no match for the power that lives in me. I am all the Sith." He ground out as he redoubled his efforts to destroy her.

Rey reached out with her Force and called the second saber to her. Luke's saber. She gritted her teeth, "And I…" Rey waited for the second saber to slam into her outstretched left hand. "…Am all the Jedi." It took every ounce of her physical strength, but she managed to cross the plasma blades augmenting her power shield before pushing forward.

The arcs of Force lightening gathered within her blades and she used the borrowed power of all the Jedi that had come before her to push it back on Palpatine. She was able to bend _his_ power to _her_ will.

Rey saw a moment of true fear on his aged face before the power began ripping him apart atom by atom. It unraveled Palpatine's very essence, not just his physical body. Her own body was beginning to fail, the strength that had driven her to this moment was spent and she wasn't done yet. Push past her limits, Rey held her ground and continued to pour the Force through herself. Every agonizing step she took exponentially increased the power ripping through the Emperor's body; ensuring that he couldn't come back a third time. This was done. _She_ was ending it.

He started to scream as he too felt the scalding pain of defeat.

Rey sent one final push of power out and it obliterated what was left of him. All the power she had been channeling combined with the dying power of the Sith and it exploded outward. Sending a wave of Force energy rippling through the citadel. Rocks were charred and blasted apart, leaving nothing but scorched earth. The dying screams of the Sith loyalists were a distant sound somewhere behind her.

The statues began collapsing as the power sought a release across a physical barrier. Rey turned and watched as the last of her life Force spilled from her body and her legs folded beneath her. She never felt the impact as her soul fled the fading shell of her physical body.

XXXX

Finn couldn't believe their luck. Lando had scooped Jannah and him up before the Final Order's flagship could slam into the surface of the planet. They quickly dropped down through a porthole into a cargo bay. They'd done it! They'd actually beaten the First Order and the Sith. He couldn't believe it. He jogged toward the command deck and his entire body went cold as a warm light blinked out of existence.

He stumbled, his body leaning heavily against the bulkhead. "No. Rey." Finn's heart clenched at the loss. This wasn't a victory if they lost Rey; _he_ couldn't lose Rey. They'd started this journey together and they had to finish it that way.

XXXX

Ben had felt the clash of power that had splintered the citadel's walls as climbed. He was almost back to the top of the cliff. It had been agonizing to climb with his damaged leg and severely bruised, and probably cracked ribs. His head throbbed in time with his beating heart and his Force energy was wavering in and out with the pain. He grabbed at the ledge and carefully hauled himself back onto the main floor. His chest was heaving with the effort.

He'd barely cleared the edge when he saw Rey lying motionless near what had been the throne of the Sith. Now, it was nothing more than deeply etched lines in stone. Ben kept trying to access their bond, but there was nothing except a blank space where Rey's light had once lived. There was no warmth or acceptance slipping along that two-way Force bond. There was simply nothing. He hauled in great gasps of air as his body threatened to shut down at this newest blow.

Losing his mother had been devastating, but the sudden loss of Rey was tantamount to torture. Ben didn't want to live alone. He didn't want to go on if she wasn't with him. Why would he? There was no one in the galaxy that would have anything but a death sentence for him, and he would welcome it if meant a release from his isolated life.

He didn't want Rey to save him from that, he'd earned a certain amount of torture. Ben just didn't want any part of this life without her. Grinding his teeth together he started the arduous process of crossing the expanse between the chasm and Rey's body. He accidentally put too much weight on his right leg, and it crumpled beneath him. He landed hard on his left knee and elbow, his face nearly colliding with the ground, he gathered his waning strength and forced his body back on his unsteady legs. Holding his ribs to try and alleviate some of the pain, he limped the last few meters.

She never moved, never turned over to see who was approaching her. Knowing her as he did, Ben knew that wasn't good. Rey would never allow someone to sneak up on her if she could help it; which meant that she _couldn't _help it. Sorrow stole his breath for a moment, and he had to remind himself to keep drawing air into his lungs.

Ben allowed his body to fall forward, landing on his hands and knees. His eyes focused in on Rey's beautiful immobile face. She was battered, just like him, but her expression was frozen in the wide-eyed stare of death. _No. No. No. No. No. No._ He repeated it inside his head over and over, willing it to be true and knowing that it wasn't. He stared at her for a few seconds before he shifted his body around, allowing himself to settle back with her across his lap.

Her body was still warm, but it was starting to turn rigid with death. That sent spikes of despair coursing through him. Ben pulled her against his chest as he shifted his weight and her head fell away. Those dead unmoving eyes were perhaps the worst thing Ben had ever seen. She'd been so animated in life and looking into her uncomprehending face was like having icy water thrust at him. He couldn't avoid it or forget what he'd seen, and he couldn't accept it.

In his desperation he looked around for anyone that could help them. Maybe one of the Sith loyalists or…but there was no one. He was alone, again. But this time it was so much worse, because he'd seen what he _could_ have; what they could have been together. It wasn't supposed to end this way. He gathered her against him and pulled her into a hug. He had seen their lives together so clearly that he'd assumed they would walk away from this battle, together. And now he would spend the remainder of his days regretting the time he'd wasted as Kylo Ren. Because that was all time he could have spent with Rey; he couldn't never get that back.

Ben _willed_ her body to start breathing again, to wake up and wrap her arms around him too…it didn't work. When he lowered her from his shoulder, her head rolled back into the same position and her eyes remained wide open and _dead_.

For a moment he wondered if this was what his mother had felt the moment that he'd run his father through? He thrust that thought away in disgust. _Don't go down that road. Not now. This isn't the time to be feeling sorry for yourself for your own actions._

As he considered what life would be like, he knew he couldn't live _that_ life. Better for them to both be dead than for one to live without the other.

He was so lost in his grief that it didn't occur to him to wonder why there was still a body. If Rey was dead, why hadn't her corporeal form been reabsorbed back into the Force?

TBC…

**Author's Notes:** _Okay, so Finn made it briefly into this chapter and Poe will join him in the next one. As I was re-watching Return of the Jedi, it occurred to me that Rey didn't fade away the way Jedi are supposed to. The way that Ben faded away almost immediately after giving his life force over to her…why not? What does that mean for one half of a dyad? Can they be brought back through other methods than someone dying in order that they might live? That's where we're heading…so hang in there, it's going to be a bit rough._

**Please take a moment to review…?**


	5. Broken Bonds

**Author's Note: **Thank you to each and every one of you that has reviewed, followed or favorited this story. I'm glad to know there were others who were also unhappy with the ending of the Skywalker saga.

**Chapter Five**

_Broken Bonds_

Staring down at Rey, Ben wondered if the Force would allow him to pass his lifeforce to her. He just wanted to offer her the same thing she'd given him after nearly ending his life on Kef Bir. For all the things he'd learned, Ben had no idea how that worked. But if there was even a small _chance_ that he could save her, then he would pay any price. Ben's eyes to drifted down and a lump of emotion nearly choked him. _Please let this work. _He pleaded with a power that he wasn't sure would grant him anything. Not after he'd turned his back so fully on the Light. But hope is a dangerous thing…and Ben found himself _hoping_.

His hand shifted to her abdomen and he suddenly was struck by how small she was compared to him. There had been so much strength packed into such a small package that he'd never considered that, her size. Rey had always seemed bigger than life; she _filled_ every room she entered in a way that had nothing to do with her physical presence.

Ben hadn't understood what that meant until now. He supposed he probably shouldn't have been that unnerved by that, after all, his mother had been that type of presence too. He found himself wishing he'd seen the two of them together. What a team they would have made. That thought hurt and he swallowed back the emotions threatening to spill over.

Rey was everything he wished he'd been. The person that his mother had believed he _could _be. _Not now._ He instructed his wandering memories. He could fall apart later; if there was a later.

Slowing his breathing, he called upon the ever-present power of the Force. Ben had never been trained in the healing arts of the Force. He hadn't needed that type of training. The sum total of his training had been offensive and defensive physical maneuvers and manipulation of the mind and matter.

And that had been fine with him, Ben had used his overwhelming anger and bitterness as a foundation for his training with Snoke. But none of that could help him now, because it wasn't anger or bitterness that were driving his current actions; it was love and desperation. He tried to grasp the connection between their bodies since it appeared as though the bond between their minds wasn't answering him.

He had no idea how long he strained and called to the Light, but the result was exactly, nothing. Rey didn't stir, she didn't reach up and take his hand, intertwining their fingers and healing the overwhelming loss he felt. Ben's breathing hitched and his head ached with the effort, he opened his eyes, and Rey was still dead. A single tear worked past his tenuous control and dripped along his cheekbone before rolling off his chin. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried.

This wasn't how everything was supposed to end. It couldn't be. Why would the Force have bridged their minds if they had no chance of being together? Had it only been to destroy the Sith? If so - Ben felt the familiar rage build inside him at that possibility.

As soon as the thought occurred to him, he felt guilt wrap around his heart.

In truth it didn't matter, Ben couldn't go back to the who he'd been before Rey. He couldn't allow the uncontrollable anger to drive his actions. If he did it would mean that every person who'd sacrificed their lives to save him had done so in vain. It would make Rey's sacrifice worthless; and he _would not_ allow her brave actions to mean nothing. He could never be Kylo Ren again. His blurry eyes dropped down and he looked at Rey, _even if I can't save you. I can't go back._

She'd saved the whole of the resistance, and that was after she'd saved _him_ from himself. A sob curled inside his chest; he ground his teeth together to keep it from finding a voice. He shifted and his body complained with spikes of pain.

Ben's head spun as a wave of nausea washed over him; his stomach flipped dangerously. Carefully, he wrapped his long arms around her and sought a sense of balance he wasn't sure he'd ever find again. A jagged pain knifed through his head and Ben's vision narrowed dangerously. He knew he was on the verge of losing consciousness. The Force rippled with the instability of Exegol and he couldn't find it in himself to care.

The soft blue glow of afterburners lit up the air above him. Ben tried to position Rey in a way that would protect her body from whoever had just landed. He didn't know who it was or whether they were friendly or part of the remaining First Order…or worse, the Final Order; _does it really matter?_ He suspected not. Rebel, First Order or Empire, they all wanted his head on a pike.

His world blinked once, and a disembodied voice called out from somewhere beyond his ability to sense. Ben thought it sounded like a desperate cry of his name, but he couldn't be sure. The world around him started to spiral down and he never got the chance to try and answer before his body gave up and he slipped past awareness and into the waiting darkness.

XXXX

Finn bounced at the cargo door, his anxiety needing somewhere to go. He had to know what had happened to Rey. There was no scenario he could think of that he wouldn't find her and bring her home. Even if it was just to bury her among friends. The mere idea of her death was too much and he bit his lip to keep the broken sob from slipping out. Rey had been the first person to look at him with something other than contempt. She'd seen him at his worst and hadn't judged him for it. Poe had _needed_ him in the beginning, but Rey had chosen to stand with him.

Jannah and Chewbacca were standing just behind him, weapons at the ready; their impatience nearly bowling over his limited Force senses. Lando had agreed to remain on the Falcon to ensure a quick getaway if it was needed; which was likely. Finn's heart hammered inside his chest. He kept trying to find Rey's light, but he still couldn't feel her distinctive presence in the Force. And that was scaring the hell outta him.

As soon as the stabilizers had whined down Finn's palm slammed against the actuator for the ramp. It dropped heavily and he was immediately running out into the darkness. He could hear Jannah yelling from somewhere behind him, but he had no intention of slowing down. His boots hit the stone and he scrambled over the dust-covered floor in one direction only. He wasn't even sure where he was going, only that a _feeling_ was driving him forward. Crumbled statues surrounded the large amphitheater he was running toward and bodies were strewn throughout the area. His eyes widened when he recognized one of the Knights of Ren.

Vicrul lay stone dead, a charred hole in his back. _A hole that only a lightsaber could have made._ Whatever had gone down on the surface, it had been bad, very very bad. A small piece of him wondered how Rey could have defeated so many opponents. She was strong and very good, but the sheer number and the small fact that many of them were also Force sensitives sent a tremor of doubt through him.

The high walls and strange apparatuses pulled his attention, momentarily. His eyes were drawn to the enormous scar running the full height of a vertical wall of stone to his left. Shaking his head, Finn refocused his efforts and then he stumbled to a stop. Fear climbed up his throat when he saw two crumpled bodies just ahead of him. One was distinctly dressed in battled-torn white and the other, larger body, wore tattered jet black. And neither one of them was moving.

Finn swallowed the thick knot of emotions that welled up inside him. _Rey._ His head identified her before he'd even gotten close enough to make out the faces. Anger pounded through him when he realized it was Kylo Ren's body wrapped around Rey's like a security blanket. He skidded and then dropped to his knees; Finn tried to extract her. But even unconscious Ren's arms only wound tighter around her inert form. The act confused Finn, weren't they enemies? Rey hated him, didn't she?

Ignoring what he couldn't understand, Finn finally _looked _down at Rey and his heart shattered. Her eyes were open and unseeing. Her body was rigid and unmoving. And her presence in the Force was completely absent. _No Rey…not you._ His mind cried. "Rey." He whispered.

Kylo Ren moaned softly and his arms tightened around his burden. But he didn't wake, and it was obvious he was trying to…_what? Protect Rey? What the hell happened down here?_ Finn questioned silently.

Chewbacca and Jannah caught up to him in that moment. It only took a fraction of a second for them to grasp the situation. The guttural cries from the Wookie were the perfect vocalization of how Finn felt. Those cries were rife with every ounce of pain and loss they'd suffered in the last few months; too many losses.

Lifting her blaster, she aimed it at Kylo's head. A quick shake of Finn's head had her lowering the weapon.

Kneeling down next to Finn, Jannah said nothing. Her expression one of support and something indescribable. As a former stormtrooper, she would have every bit as much reason to hate Kylo Ren as Finn did; and that anger was there, resting inside her dark eyes, but she didn't move against him. Because _Finn_ didn't want that, and she respected him more than she hated Kylo Ren.

A juddering from inside the planet core reminded them that they didn't have much time. Whatever had caused the scarring along that wall, it had also destabilized the atmosphere of Exegol. It was definitely time to go.

Carefully removing Rey from Kylo's arms, Finn began moving back toward the Falcon. She was cradled against his body, her arms hanging down and her head tipped back. It was horrible. Finn couldn't recall how many times he'd thought about holding Rey in his arms, but it had never like this. She'd always returned his embrace, now…_she never would._

"What about him?" Jannah called out, pointing at the unconscious man in black.

Chewie roared out something guttural and angry. But as his eyes dropped to Kylo's pliant face, and he _really _looked, all he could see was Han and Leia's only son. Pity rang through the Wookie and his roar turned to a soft growl of frustration. He vividly remembered the quiet black-haired boy that had followed Han around the Falcon learning every circuit and actuator on the freighter. Before Kylo had fallen, Chewie had loved him like his own son. But watching as Ren had driven his lightsaber through Han's chest had nearly destroyed any feelings of love.

And yet he still couldn't leave the last remaining Solo or the heir to the Skywalker legacy to die like this. He took a deep breath and gathered Kylo up, tossing him over his shoulder like a piece of rolled cable. There was nothing gentle in the way he handled the young man. The Wookie didn't have any kindness left inside him; not for _him_. But Chewbacca wouldn't let him die. That was truly a coward's way out. And the Wookie was a lot of things, but he wasn't a coward. A small part of him knew that Han would never forgive him if he walked from Ren now.

Jannah groaned. "Wonderful. We'll just take the _leader_ of the First Order back with us, shall we? It's not like he could…oh I don't know, KILL all of us with nothing but a thought." Grumbling, she hit the lever to close the bay door. "That's not crazy at all."

Finn tossed her a peeved glare.

Shrugging she asked, "What? It's not like it's _not_ true."

Lando glanced over his shoulder toward the bay and activated the commlink, "Everyone on board?"

"Yeah, please get us the hell outta here." The ex-stormtrooper said softly. His eyes were glued to Rey's unmoving body. She wasn't breathing, which meant…_Hell, I know what it means, but that doesn't mean I accept it._

Calrissian's voice echoed through the speakers again. "Finn? Poe's haling you."

Finn carefully laid Rey's arms next to her sides and then grabbed an old blanket. It was stupid, he knew that, but he couldn't help himself. Tucking the material around her, he gently caressed her hair before turning toward the cockpit.

"Coming." He didn't have a clue what he would say to Poe. How did he tell his friend that they'd lost Rey but saved Kylo Ren? That wasn't something that anyone in the resistance would thank him for. But that strange _feeling_ had warned him that leaving Ren behind would make him no better than the First Order; no better that Kylo himself.

It had been pretty obvious that Chewie felt the same way since it was him that had actually brought Han's estranged son on board the Falcon. Shaking his head, Finn moved to answer Poe's inquiry.

Chewbacca grabbed the suppressor cuffs and quickly wrapped them around Kylo's wrists. A small fluid tank inside the cuffs sloshed with a yellow liquid. As soon as the cuffs were attached. he depressed the small lever and twin needles sank deeply into the underside of the prisoner's wrists. The drug was something had been used to forget reality, but in the case of a Jedi it would scramble their ability to access the Force. There hadn't been a need for it since the downfall of the Empire, but Han had always kept some on board.

The Wookie wasn't even sure where his friend had gotten it or what went into making it. But he knew that as long as those cuffs were attached to Kylo's wrists and there was a steady stream of the drug passing directly into his brachial artery, they were all safe from his dark power.

XXXX

She still didn't know what exactly had pulled her soul back from a peaceful rest.

Rey had felt it the moment her essence drained away from her mortal bonds. And the next thing she knew she was watching Ben hold her like his life depended on it. His dark eyes frantic with fear and denial as he'd twisted, looking for anyone that could help him.

A distant voice had had called to her. She thought it sounded like Master Skywalker, but she couldn't be sure. How could she leave Ben alone? Everyone that believed he could be turned back to the light was dead. No one would give him the second chance he'd earned on Exegol.

Ben's hand dropped and she knew what he wanted to attempt. Tilting her head and frowning, Rey made a decision. When he tried to pass his lifeforce to her through their bond, she'd stepped between their bodies and blocked the action. The two-way connection was fading, and Rey clamped her mind around it like a tourniquet. She could not see him dead, not now and not for any reason. Which included saving her own life. She'd worked too hard to save him and…surprise send a ripple of warmth through her, she loved him too much.

But watching the pain and agony wash over and through him at his perceived failure had been terrible to witness. It had felt like someone had ripped open her heart and laid it bare. Because those were the black emotions rolling off him in that moment. Loneliness. Despair. Sorrow. Loss. Regret. And the list went on and on. Rey felt every one of his emotions because they were the same ones she would be feeling if their positions were reversed. And yet she couldn't contact him through their bond, not after she'd intentionally blocked his actions.

The only thing she didn't understand, was why was she still here? Why was she tied to her physical body? Everything she'd read about the She had no answers and for all the Jedi's words that 'she wasn't alone', there was no one here with her. Just Ben.

Rey watched with a sinking feeling as Chewbacca attached two etched cuffs to Ben's wrists. He strung a linked chain between them and then snapped them shut. The silver cuffs were sealed in place by a Lumarian steel lock and she felt her heart go out to the other Jedi…Sith? She wasn't really sure what Ben was now. He was something different than either ancient religion had intended. Ben was a combination of both the light and the dark sides of the Force. He walked a line that no Force user ever had before him. And because they were a _dyad_, what did mean for her?

Watching Ben's grief had been the worst kind of torture. Because he'd finally come back to the light and then he's been punished by powers far beyond their comprehension. And now her _friends _had him and there was no telling what they would do. She believed that Finn could be reasoned with, if she was there to _reason_ with him. But Poe? He was a stubborn man and Ben had tortured him.

_He tortured you too, remember?_ She huffed before sinking down next to her body. Her eyes were trained on Ben's unconscious form. His forehead was now wrinkled in pain and his right leg was twisted under him in an awkward position that had to be agonizing. He was injured, badly and no one seemed to give a damn about that.

Rey lifted her eyes when Finn walked back into the bay. Drawing on something deep inside she moved to whisper in his ear.

"He's hurt, Finn. Please help him."

Finn jerked at the intensity of the Force. His gaze dropped to the unconscious man slumped on the grating at his feet. He had an odd sensation that he needed to _help_ Ren. To ensure he was cared for, at least medically speaking. There was only one person in the galaxy that would care if Kylo Ren lived or died…

"Rey?" He said softly.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _And…we're off and running. I thought it would be interesting to see how Rey would react if she could see everything but was unable to stop it. (Sorta). So now they're going to have to figure out how to fix Rey and see if the bond can be unbroken. Thank you so much to all of you that are now reading this story. I really didn't like the ending of the film, so this is an attempt to adjust that._

**Please leave a review…**


	6. Whispers

**Legalities: **Star Wars, nor any of the characters living in a galaxy far far away, belong to me. They remain the intellectual property and real world property of the wonderful actors that portrayed them, George Lucas, and now Disney. I am however, grateful I get to play in their character rich world. Enjoy the story.

**Chapter Six**

_Whispers_

His world was comprised of nothing but agony; Ben Solo was really starting to hate waking up. Over the past several months it had ceased to be anything but a painful disappointing experience. This was no exception, at the moment his head was screaming in vehement protest and his body hurt absolutely everywhere. For the first several seconds he was also confused, what had happened? Where was he? What had he done now?

That last thought wasn't a normal one for him. Ben always knew _where_ he was, the Force had ensured that. He swallowed the sticky thickness inside his throat; which meant he'd been unconscious for some time. With a sinking feeling, he tried to reach out to the Force and discovered that he couldn't wrap his mind around it. This was akin to being blinded, at least for him. Since before he could remember, Ben Solo had always felt _everything_ through the Force; and losing it was like cutting off a vital part of himself, and it sent fear coursing through him.

If he was having problems sensing the massive powers of the Force, then _something_ had caused it. Jedi and Sith didn't just lose their abilities due to pain. Sometimes they were dampened by it in the case of Jedi, but in the case of the Sith, pain was an amplifier; a focuser. And at the moment Ben was in serious _pain._

Vaguely he recalled slipping into unconsciousness, but he couldn't quite recall why. The memory of those moments was still cloudy and shrouded in uncertainty. With a mental heave, he sent his mind traveling along the well-worn paths that made up the connectivity of the Force, but they were wispy, like smoke. He'd never felt anything like it before.

Ben recalled the untold times that Snoke had crushed his ability to use the Force. Anything he'd been teaching his apprentice a lesson about obedience or inflicting the penalty for failure. But other than those moments, he'd always felt both the dark and the light side of the Force. It had been the only consistent thing in his life.

He hadn't realized just how isolating that would feel just as _everything_ flooded back into his traumatized mind.

Rey. Loss. Death. Pain. Alone. Isolated. Pain. Rey. The crushing emotions repeated over and over, colliding into a painful cacophony of tragic realizations.

Ben tried to shift his shoulders, hoping that inflicting physical discomfort would stop the painful onslaught of memories. He was flat on his back with his hands bound painfully underneath him. A burning sensation licked along his forearms toward his head, and he understood with rising anger that he was being drugged. It was the _drugs _that had muddled his mind.

_Which explains my inability to tap into the Force._ He thought, the frustration feeding his growing anger. He didn't know who had him or what had happened, nor did he know what happened to Rey's…he couldn't even finish that thought. Struggling to get past the remnants of his foggy head, Ben forced his eyelids to slip apart.

_Kriffing hell, _the lights were too bright, he blinked several times, ignoring the burn of tears that slipped past his control before the surrounding area came into focus. He chalked the reaction up to the intensity of the pain stabbing lightsabers through his head. The far bulkheads were familiar, and his breath caught as he realized, _I'm on the Falcon._

Ben tried to sit up, but apparently the damn chains were also attached to something behind him which prevented that quite neatly. Tilting his head, he sighed. His gaze searched for anyone, any being that could tell him what the hell was happening. But as he scanned the limited area, it was obvious that he was completely alone in one of the small lockups inside his father's freighter.

His larger frame had been shoved onto one of the small medical beds and then locked away in a cargo compartment, presumably to protect the occupants of the ship. Which meant they knew exactly who he was, and he was likely being returned to stand trial for his many acts of violence against any number of worlds. _Not good. _The only question would be which world achieved his extradition.

Ben's body trembled with increasing pain as a wave of bunching and coiling muscle tried to tie him into a knot. The knife-like stabbing sensation inside his skull intensified causing it to rival his physical discomfort.

With some effort he tried to remember what could have led to his current predicament. He recalled finding Rey on Exegol, and then trying to save her.

_No, that's not right. I did save her, and I defeated the Knights of Ren before we faced the Emperor, together._ But then Palpatine had realized that their combined life forces were the key to his reanimation. With a shudder he could almost feel the sheer torture of those last moments. It had felt as though his body and soul were being torn into pieces and then folded inside out before being burned. The memory of Rey's agonized scream of pain confirmed that she had been every bit as affected as he had been.

And then he'd fallen. But that hadn't been the end, oh no, because Ben Solo didn't know how to quit. It had never been an option for him. Snoke had, quite literally, _beaten_ that into him from the moment he'd made the decision to abandon the Jedi training. And yet as bad as all that had been, it had been so much better than the isolation he'd suffered at the hands of his own parents. And all of it had been due to their combined fears.

The only person that hadn't truly _feared _him had been Rey. An incredible sense of failure upon realizing that she was _dead_ eclipsed every other pain he was feeling. He had desperately tried to use the Force bond between them in order to allow his lifeforce to pass into her; Ben remembered being denied the ability to do that. Denied by a power or a presence, by _something…_

He could only assume that the Force had determined that he wasn't _worthy _of such a gift. Having the clarity of just how badly he'd failed the people he'd loved hurt in ways that eclipsed everything else he'd experienced.

By his own actions, he'd lost his father, then his mother as she'd tried to save him, and now Rey. He truly was alone. And all of it was a direct result of choices _he _had made.

And yet, despite these choices, the Force had sent him Rey. But he'd fallen so far off his destined path that it had then stolen her back leaving him to suffer through his life in loneliness and isolation.

Although, at the moment, the chances were very good that he would die soon; probably in an extremely slow, very public and insanely painful way. So perhaps he would simply cease to exist when that happened?

Ben swallowed again, his eyes blurring with unshed emotions that were both new and so old he could scarcely remember them. He hadn't expected everything to be forgiven just because he'd realized his mistakes.

A whoosh of the pneumatic door focused his wandering thoughts. The man he knew as FN 2187 walked through the door. His dark eyes were keen and wary as he took in the prisoner at his feet.

"What happened?" he asked.

Ben blinked sluggishly. The amount of drugs coursing through his system were playing havoc with his cognitive abilities. He could sift through his disjointed thoughts but gathering them into any reasonable data was proving harder than he'd anticipated. Apparently the former stormtrooper wasn't feeling very generous, or patient. He stepped forward and pointed a blaster at Ben's head.

His voice shook as he asked his question again. "What happened?"

"The Emperor is dead." The restrained man managed past his pulsing head, he could actually feel his heart thumping behind his eyes.

"Yup. Kinda figured that. We're all still alive." FN 2187 shuddered. "_Most_ of us are still alive."

"Rey." Ben said softly. "You want to know about Rey." His words were broken and nothing like the way he'd spoken as his time with the First Order.

"Well I sure as hell don't care about how _you _survived." The blaster didn't waiver and it didn't drop from where it was ready to drill a hole through his skull. Ben wanted to sigh, but it felt like too much effort.

Pulling in a breath, he continued like he hadn't heard anything the former stormtrooper had said. "Palpatine. He tossed me over a cliff, by the time I climbed out…Rey was—" he couldn't finish. Ben didn't know what had happened. He only remembered the events leading up to the moment he'd been lifted from the ground a second time and then thrown away like a piece of irrelevant trash.

"Rey what?"

No matter how much he tried, Ben couldn't quite bring himself to say she was dead. Not out loud. "FN—"

"That's not my name."

This time Ben _did _sigh. "It's the only name I know."

The other man bristled, "My name is Finn."

The ship shuddered and the jarring pain that rocked Ben's body caused him to bite his lower lip. The metallic taste of blood flooded his mouth. Finn's dark eyes snapped up and he rushed out of Ben's makeshift cell. Another sharp change of direction slammed Ben against the ends of the restraints. He felt his left shoulder pop out of the socket. Burning pain slithered along his arm and made him wish, and not for the first time, that it had been him that had died inside the citadel.

He was hanging half off the shelf bed, his weight and the agony of his body holding him in the painful position he'd landed in. Something else must have hit the Falcon, because it dropped so suddenly that he found himself momentarily floating before he collided with the metal edge above him. Blinding pain above his right eye and the hot rush of blood meant he now had another injury to contend with.

Biting back the pain, he ground his teeth together as the freighter evened out and he landed in a heap of tangled black clothing and injuries.

_Did you really believe we could be so easily defeated?_

A multitude of voices speaking as one penetrated his mind and sent razor sharp shards of Force lightening lancing through his head. Ben couldn't have stopped his involuntary cry of agony if he'd had to. He'd believed that if he couldn't access the powers of the Force then that would mean that others also couldn't use it against him. He was very very wrong.

By drugging him, _Finn _and Rey's other friends_,_ had eliminated Ben's ability to shield his mind; leaving him open to psychic attacks. He couldn't protect himself and he couldn't fight back. He was helpless against the powerful mind-Force that had sought him out.

_The Sith are not so easily broken. A thousand generations have been freed by the Jedi's actions today. _

He wanted to ask what they meant. But the turbo door hissed and both Finn and the little BB unit entered. Finn's eyes widened at Ben's twisted expression of pain and the awkward position he was lying in. He swallowed when his eyes dropped to the broken angle of the imprisoned man's left shoulder and the fresh blood welling from a long gash above his eye.

"What happened?" He started to move forward, like he was going to help. But the sudden halt to his steps meant he'd obviously figured that might not be the wisest course of action. Finn looked down at the BB unit. "Get Chewie."

The little droid beeped several times and then quickly rolled away. Ben tried to force his body to scoot back against the metal wall. But a slight grunt of pain and the twitching of his legs was all he could manage. The large wookie came around the corner and growled at the sight of Ben's semi-conscious state. He sent an accusatory glare at Finn.

"What?! I didn't do it. I have no idea what happened to him." The look Chewbacca shot back was a clear 'I don't believe you'.

_Ben?_ He barely heard the whispered voice bearing his name; but he knew exactly whose voice it was. As his mind started to slip past awareness, "Rey…" he breathed just as he descended back into the world of the unconscious.

Finn's head jerked up and his mouth dropped open. "What did he just say?"

Chewie roared back and it was pretty obvious that he'd heard the same thing and was every bit as troubled as they were. They both knew that Rey's body was lying under Finn's coat in the medical bay. And she sure as hell wasn't walking around having one-sided conversations with half-dead First Order scum like Kylo Ren. So why was he breathing out her name like some sort of whispered prayer? Like _she_ meant something to him?

Finn knew he'd felt something when they'd pulled Rey from Kylo's arms and carried them both on board the Falcon. He still didn't know exactly what that had been, but it had _felt_ like Rey. Her light. Her compassion. Her…just her. He wasn't sure when he'd started to recognize the unique signature of her presence, but he had. And Finn had felt it when they'd first brought the injured leader of the First Order aboard their ship.

It had been that gentle urging presence that had ensured he addressed the worst the Ren's injuries. But looking at the broken unconscious man beneath him, Finn wondered if there was more going on here that feelings and urgings. Kylo was sensing something that he shouldn't be able to.

The drugs pumping through him were designed to disconnect a Force user from that cosmic power. And it was highly effective. He'd heard about it during his time as a stormtrooper, but there was very little need for it because most of the Jedi were already dead and Kylo Ren had been the only apprentice to Snoke.

Looking over at Chewie, Finn pulled in a breath. "We need to get that arm back in the socket." His own shoulder twinged in sympathy at what must be an extremely painful dislocation. A soft series of growls appeared to be an agreement from the Wookie. He pulled the key to the locks and opened them allowing the chain to slip from the cuffs. Both of them were still firmly in place on Ren's wrists and the yellow drugs still pumped into his veins. Which meant he was at least a bit less dangerous?

Finn wished he actually believed that. He'd seen the apprentice to the supreme leader in action on many occasions and he would never call Kylo Ren, with or without access to the darkside, _not dangerous._

The large Wookie carefully grabbed Kylo's left arm and then pulled at an angle. The loud _pop_ of the joint slipping back into place was sickening. The dark-haired man never so much as twitched at what had to have been a significant amount of pain. Something weird was going on and Finn wanted to get to the bottom of it and that wasn't going to happen with Ren unconscious.

Recalling Poe's vehement string of curses at Finn's explanation as to _why_ they'd brought Kylo with them, he wondered if he could actually keep his own people from sending a blaster bolt through the man's head. That same feeling of protectiveness settled over him and his breathing caught at the intensity. Only Rey's essence was this strong; at least for him. For reasons he couldn't understand, she wanted Kylo Ren alive and unhurt.

Taking a deep breath Finn nodded to the empty room, "Okay Rey. I'll keep an eye on him." It was a promise he wasn't sure he could keep, but he would try. For her? He would try.

XXXX

Rey watched with a sinking heart as Ben's eyes rolled up into his head and he slipped away from the waking world. He was hurt before getting tossed around by a powerful mind-Force and now he was worse. Hadn't he earned a break?

She'd felt the same overwhelming presence he had, and it had scared as much as it had him. What were they dealing with? It had taken both of them to defy Palpatine and Snoke, how could they stand against another rising darkness when they were separated by her death? This wasn't how she'd seen this whole _sacrifice_ thing going.

To save Ben and the rest of her friends, Rey had been willing to give up her life. But now she was trapped, watching as they struggled and unable to do anything to help. Watching as Leia's son had tried to reconcile the incredible guilt and emotional pain, pain he carried with him had been disturbing for her. Because Rey could actually _feel_ what he did, and it was awful. She didn't want this type of afterlife. She'd expected to pass into the Force, like master Skywalker had. But no, she was being denied that peace and she didn't understand why. Hadn't she done exactly what the Jedi had asked? She'd stood against her lineage and she'd proven worthy as a Jedi, hadn't she?

So why was she trapped watching the man she'd fallen in love with suffer, her friends deal with her death, and bearing witness to the rise of a new dark power?

A distant voice answered her silent questions.

"Because you are the only one that can."

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for reading and reviewing, I so appreciate your continued to support. This story is kind of writing itself, new ideas and paths keep popping up and I'm quite enjoying the creative journey. I hope you are too. Just for your knowledge, I have no intension of returning Ben Solo to the darkside and I will reunite them in the real world before their journey ends. And yes, I fully intent on giving them some sort of happy ending, the one denied to them at the end of the Rise of Skywalker._

**Please take a moment and leave a review…?**


	7. Reckoning

**Chapter Seven: **_Reckoning_

Poe Dameron was seething with anger. What the hell had Finn been thinking? Why wouldn't he have just left that piece of first order trash on the dying planet? The pilot was still haunted by the remnants of what Kylo Ren had done to him. That _monster_ had dug around inside Poe's mind, prying apart every memory, private or otherwise, looking for what he wanted. It was as close to rape as Poe ever wanted to get.

The violation of his innermost feelings and images that he held dear had been laid bare for that man's casual perusal. Finn had been dealt a bad hand too, but he hadn't had someone rooting around inside him. The anger and the shame at being unable to resist the former Supreme Leader was still so raw it ached in places Poe preferred not to think about. He ground his teeth together.

They'd lost Rey but they had managed to save the man that had caused so much damage to the resistance; and also to Leia and Han Solo personally. Hell, Kylo Ren had even violated Rey's mind on Starkiller base. Sympathy poured through him at that realization. It wasn't that the pilot wasn't aware of what had happened, Rey had told Finn, who had told him. _They were close like that. Almost like siblings._ He wondered if it had been worse for her because she was also able to access the Force. _Probably_. He decided.

He'd known for some time that there was something different between Rey and Kylo. A change had taken place when she'd gone to find Luke Skywalker, but she had never gone into details. And now? They find Rey dead and, apparently, Ren had been trying to protect her? What the kriff?

He pulled in a breath and glanced over at 3PO. The gold protocol droid was staring out into the void of the jungle. They were both waiting, 3PO for BB-8 and Poe for Finn…and BB-8. _You are waiting for all of them, just be honest._

"General?" A small voice called hesitantly.

Turning, he tried to wipe the anxious expression from his face. "Yeah?" He was handed a holo-corder, he read the reports coming in from across the galaxy. The news of their victory on Exegol was spreading like wildfire. Many of the ships that jumped to the aid of the resistance were returning home with tales of a glorious win over the First Order, but he knew better.

Poe knew who they'd lost by name. Snap Wexley had been among those lost; and of course, there was Rey. She would be the hardest death for any of them to accept. Because at some point Poe had started to believe that he, Finn and Rey would all make it out of this mess, alive. He'd been wrong. For all that he and Rey fought like brother and sister, the pilot had come to rely on her steadfast presence and generally calm disposition. Now that was gone.

He sighed and turned back toward the young woman. Poe didn't know her. Which meant she had likely been part of the rescue mission mounted by the entire galaxy. Apparently, she had decided to stay. Her short black hair was casually styled, and she wore a mechanic's jumpsuit. The girl was barely sixteen, maybe seventeen if he was being generous. But she reminded of him of Rey and that send emotional pain fluttering through his chest.

"What's your name?" he asked. Poe continued to read through the reports and supply inventories.

"Yara Jaystar." She answered softly.

Tilting his head, he looked over at her, appraising the slender build and strong jaw. "And where are you from, Yara?"

Her eyes clouded and she dropped her eyes. "Kijimmi." He didn't have to be Force-sensitive to feel the pain radiating from her.

Poe's eyes softened and he lowered his hands. He wasn't sure what to say. This girl had lost her entire planet and it was the resistance's fault. _Their_ fault, it had been their fault. He was under no illusions that without their visit to Babu Frick, that planet wouldn't have been a tiny blip on the Final Order's radar. There was nothing to gain by destroying a planet rich with ore and poor in population.

He handed the reader back. "I'm sorry." His voice shook a bit, but he managed to hold it together pretty well. "For your loss."

"We've all lost something. Some of us just lost more than others." It was quiet, but the conviction behind her words sat oddly with him.

She nodded once before heading off the direction of the main bay. Poe was pulled from his musings as the Millennium Falcon appeared above him, thrusters glowing as it started to descend into the vacant area near his X-wing.

XXXX

Something was very wrong. Ben was inside the body of someone else. He wasn't sure who, but he did recognize his surroundings. The simple stone hut held a wooden table, a chair and few other meager belongings that indicated that someone actually lived here. He went to stand and realized that he was seeing the world from a height that was at least a foot shorter than he was. A sudden commotion outside the hut caught his attention, calling a lightsaber to his hands he went to investigate. How would he have known there was saber there? Ben was confused and it was setting him on edge.

_Okay, so I'm a Jedi or something? _

They stepped out into the night, it was thick with black smoke and flying orange embers. The moment his feet crossed the threshold into the darkness, he knew _exactly_ where he was.

Gulping back his sense of dread, Ben was forced to move in the exact the patterns that this young padawan had more than twenty years ago. Gaul Exen. He was inside the body of Gaul Exen.

Ben wanted nothing more than to run in the opposite direction of what he knew was coming. He willed the body he was inside to follow his wishes, but it was like he had no control. And yet he could feel every raw emotion tumbling through Gaul's body.

_Please, I don't want to see this._

_Ben_ didn't know who, or _what_, he was begging, but he begged anyway. When nothing changed and the body of Gaul continued to move toward the raging fires, Ben prepared himself for a future that was already part of the past.

A figure cloaked in something more mere darkness stepped from the shadows. The brilliant blue glow of a Jedi's lightsaber illuminated the growing hatred shining out of his dark eyes. Gaul stumbled, barely managing to catch himself before he fell at the feet of Ben Solo.

Looking up into his own black eyes, _Ben_ saw what Gaul had seen. He knew it was too late for the Jedi trainee, Ben Solo had already turned away from the light. There would be no mercy in that grim expressive face, just deadly purpose and a hint of fear struck through with rage.

Gaul had been older than Ben by a few years, but he hadn't been anywhere near as powerful; none of them had been. They'd trained together for more than ten years and yet they weren't friends. Ben Solo didn't have friends. He'd kept himself apart from the other students in a way that solidified his lonely isolated existence. He'd never realized it until now, but he had been as responsible for his lack of companions as his parents had been. But now as he stared up into his own face, he understood why the other students had never worked very hard to get past his self-imposed isolation. Ben was not a very friendly looking person.

That hadn't bothered him. Not in the least. Ben had purposely closed himself off from the emotions of others, he'd had to. His Force sensitivity had been such that he couldn't block the raw emotions of others when he'd been young, so to protect his own sanity, Ben had learned how to wall out everyone else. He'd tried to explain it to his mother, but she could seem to grasp what was sending his young son into panicked fits. And his father? He hadn't even tried to understand.

His own parents hadn't been able to accept him the way he was born, why would anyone else? The only exception to that, had been Rey. Even as they'd fought, Ben had known that she was special. The only time he might have been able to kill his had been before he touched her mind in that interrogation chamber on Starkiller base. Once he'd felt that unique connection, or Force bond, it would have been impossible for him to drive his lightsaber through her heart. He'd have incapacitated her and then taken her prisoner until he could convince her to accept the gifts of darkness he was offering.

What Kylo Ren hadn't understood and Ben Solo did, was that Rey would _never _have taken the offer of that gloved hand. She didn't have it in her to be the villainous Empress the Sith loyalists had believed she would be. But Ben had known. Because he'd been inside her mind and he understood, on a fundamental level, who Rey was. She was all light with hints of darkness at the edges. A unique blend of both sides of the Force, just as he'd been; before he'd fallen. Simply accepting his hand would never have been enough to fully turn her from the Light side of the Force. Kylo Ren _couldn't_ have understood that, but _Ben _did.

He felt the slow lifting of Gaul's black eyes as Ben's younger self stepped in front of them, blocking any hope of escape. Wiping at his forehead he frowned at the liquid on his fingertips, he didn't know if it was rain or sweat running in thick rivulets down his face, ultimately, he figured it wouldn't matter. Because _Ben_ knew how this encounter ended.

"Ben." Gaul's thickly accented use of his given name sent the broken young man into a frenzy f action. Suddenly the two were engaged in a furious battle of wills and power. Gaul's green lightsaber flashing in time with Ben's blue plasma blade. Neither man gave ground, but they were both beginning tire.

From inside the body of the smaller man_, Ben_ watched, unable to change a course of events that had already happened but sick with the knowledge of what was about to occur.

Young-Ben brought his saber down in a wide powerful arc that jarred Gaul's arms. He parried and spun under the taller man's extended arms and managed slice along both of his larger opponent's thighs. Ben howled in pain and frustrated anger at the strike. It wasn't mortal or even particularly bad, but the fact that his opponent had scored blinded him with new rage. He twirled and dropped into a crouch; his blue lightsaber extended behind him as be prepared to re-engage his _enemy_.

_Ben_ wanted to close his eyes. To look away from the unrelenting anger pouring from his younger self. And yet he was a passenger on this little trip down memory lane. He had no more control over Gaul's actions than he had over his own body. He watched as the tall dark figure stalked toward him; the power of the Force sparking and rippling with Ben's unbalanced emotions, giving him access to the immense power of both the light and the darksides of the Force.

In that moment, _Ben_ felt Gaul's realization. He couldn't win this fight. It didn't matter how much better he was with a saber or how long he'd been studying with Master Skywalker; he could not beat Ben Solo. Because Ben wasn't just accessing the light, he was also drawing on the forbidden powers of the darkside. Fear washed through him, and _Ben_ was a helpless audience to this man's impeding death. A death that_ he _had doled out without regard and without regret.

Gaul started to move, but Ben reached out with the Force and blocked his actions. Pivoting on his back foot, the nephew of Luke Skywalker brought his saber's blade across the shoulders of the smaller man neatly removing his head from his shoulders.

_Ben _screamed in agony as the presence of Gaul was severed from him leaving only his mind to fail in those last terrifying seconds. Everything burned and he felt as though he was being peeled apart as the Force punished him for his act of violence that day.

And then…it was over…at least for Gaul. But the Force wasn't done with Ben Solo yet.

_Ben _found himself staring up into the blank mask of Kylo Ren, a sense of fear and acceptance coursing through him. _No, not him. Another body_. But this body was old, frail from years of hard service and disappointment, but it embodied a regal quality that belied the obvious age.

The lack of emotion in that black and silver mask made it impossible to know what the man behind it was thinking. _But Ben knew. _

At least not until he started speaking. "Look how old you've become." It was said more as an observation than a personal slight against the body _Ben_ now occupied. But the cold empty feeling inside him as he'd looked upon a man that once been a friend to his parents was extremely unpleasant.

_No. No, please don't make me relive this…_but once again, no one and _nothing_ was listening to what Ben Solo wanted. He was being punished for the decisions he'd made as Kylo Ren, and he damn well knew it. And if it had only been the deaths he was forced to relive, he could handle that, but this was also their emotions at the moment they were torn away from the living Force. Acts of extreme violence that had been perpetrated with such a disregard for life that there was no "I'm sorry" which could undo them. He realized that simply renouncing the dark masters he'd once served wasn't going to be enough to bring balance back to his tattered soul.

He _personally_, would be suffering for those decisions.

"Something far worse has happened to you."

The tall figure of Kylo Ren stared at the old man for a few moments before continuing. _Ben_ could feel the gathering fear inside the man, but it wasn't a fear of dying, it was fear for _him_ and the Organa-Solo family. That realization rocked their only son back on his heels. He'd thought that when he'd turned his back on his family name and the light side of the Force, everyone that had known or cared about him had abandoned him as lost to the darkness.

But _Ben_ was different now. The depth of remorse he felt for his part in this man's death couldn't be understated.

"You know what I've come for." The distorted voice smothered any chance of emotions making their way into it.

_Ben_ felt the sadness settle like a heavy mantle over the old man. "I know where you come from. Before you called yourself Kylo Ren"

Kylo didn't move a muscle, he continued to stare into those ancient eyes. "The map to Skywalker. We know you found it. And now you're going to give it to the First Order." He started to pace a few steps back and forth; his patience was waning.

"The First Order rose from the darkside, you did not."

Ren turned toward him, "I'll show you the darkside."

A slow breath helped to settle the growing knowledge that he was going to die this day. And _Ben_ could feel the acceptance of his fate. The honor with which the man accepted his impending death sent another cascade of emotions through _Ben._ "You may try. But you cannot deny the truth that is your family."

"You're so right." Kylo responded as he simultaneously ignited his lightsaber.

_Ben_ hunched over to the side as the killing stroke of his own blade came down on them. It cut him nearly in half. Fiery agony ran just ahead of the plasma blade as it tore through flesh and bone. He screamed out, but no one could hear him. And then he again felt the mind-wrenching torture of a soul being reabsorbed back into the Force. Once again, Ben was left feeling so alone he wished that the death had resulted in his own destruction. Not just death, but the complete obliteration of his soul. It was what he deserved.

_Ben…hang on. _Rey's soft words came from nowhere and everywhere all at once. _You have to fight this._ And then he was cast back into the loneliness that was quickly becoming his constant state of being.

XXXX

Finn watched silently as the resistance guards drug the unconscious Kylo Ren from the Falcon's cargo bay. He hadn't moved since the seizure-like attack on the ship, his eyes weren't shifting beneath his closed eyelids. Which wasn't a good thing, even an ex-stormtrooper knew that. They'd removed the chains, but the drug inducing cuffs were still pumping the yellow liquid into his blood stream.

Ren's right leg was twisted at an odd angle as he was drug across the dirt toward the holding cells. Finn had seen the severity the other man's injuries; his dislocated shoulder, and that knee...he knew that the tall man that swather himself in black would've been in serious pain' if he'd been conscious.

Poe ran from the interior bay. "Finn!" He grabbed him in a tight hug. "I can't believe you destroyed that command ship."

Finn tried to smile; it came out wrong. "Rey."

The pilot's face fell, and his brown eyes shifted to the ramp of the Falcon. Chewbacca was descending with a bundle wrapped gently in his arms. It was clear to anyone with eyes that it was a _body_. A body that meant _everything_ to those around her. Poe swiftly covered the ground between them before offering to take her. Chewie growled a warning and the general backed off.

"Okay." Lifting his hands in a placating gesture, Poe backed away.

Maz stepped up next to Finn, lifting her small hand she laid it gently against his forearm. "There shouldn't be a body." She said quietly.

Finn released a slow breath. "I know." His gaze flickered in the direction Kylo had been dragged. Maz's ancient eyes followed his.

"Is he alive?" She wondered aloud.

Finn snorted, "Yeah. He's alive."

"He may be the only one who can tell us why Rey is trapped between life and death."

He yanked his arm away and turned to squat down in front of her. "What?"

"Finn, when a Jedi dies their body along with their essence or power is reabsorbed into the Force. That is the way it happens. Always." She narrowed her eyes. "But you already knew that."

"I suspected. I keep thinking I can _feel_ her. Do you think she's trying to communicate with us." He glanced toward the cellblock again. "When I found them Kylo Ren was wrapped around her…like a shield or something."

"Hmmm." Maz hummed, turning she tapped at her chin as she considered that. "He is not dressed as Kylo Ren now. Was that your doing?"

Finn shook his head 'no'.

"I have never heard of Kylo Ren being found outside of his black cowl and helmet. I believe that something significant happened on the planet."

Finn hated to admit it, but he agreed. Something had changed between Rey and the supreme leader of the First Order. He allowed his eyelids to drop closed and tried to breathe slowly. Focusing on a specific presence, one he hoped to find in his mind. _Rey, I need to know. Is it him, Kylo Ren you need?_

Several moments of nothing went past before a name floated through his mind. _Not Kylo Ren. Protect Ben Solo._

He blinked at the sudden clarity of purpose he felt. Maz was looking at him in that same peculiar way she had when they'd first met. "What did she say? You can feel her, can't you?"

He was surprised that she needed no convincing. Maz understood the Force in a way that only Jedi and Sith seemed to, but she denied being Force-sensitive. He nodded. "She wants me to protect Ben Solo."

Maz's face shifted to one of both surprise and solidarity. "That won't be easy."

"No, it won't. But I swear Maz; it's like she's begging for help."

"My dear boy, then we shall do as she asks. Because she cannot do it herself." Her small frame suddenly felt bigger than his. He former stormtrooper's lips twitched in something like a smile.

"Poe won't like it." Finn said with a shake of his head.

"No, he will not. But he will do it. For Rey."She finished evenly.

XXXX

Ben felt himself working toward some form of awareness. His entire body was raging with a fever he couldn't control and a pain he couldn't ignore. His emotions were wild and raw in a way that he hadn't felt since he'd killed his father. He was teetering on the edge of something, but he didn't yet know what that was.

He found himself seated outside his parent's personal chambers, the ones they'd had when his mother had spent most of her time as a senator for the new republic.

He watched with a sinking heart as his uncle slowly traversed the long narrow corridor toward Leia's stateroom. The great Jedi Master didn't look tall and sure, he looked bent and bowed by what Ben had done. He didn't want to witness this moment in time.

What as his mother learned of her son's ultimate betrayal and her brother's enormous failure. Ben willed his essence to remain outside as the doors slid apart and Luke entered.

Against his wishes, Ben found himself a silent witness to his mother's heartbreak. Tears blurred his vision as he watched them interact. Luke never said a word. But Ben saw the precise moment his mother understood the reason for her twin's visit. It was clearly reflected when her soft brown eyes glistened; she shook her head over and over in a silent denial that spoke volumes.

Her legs gave out and Leia sank down onto her long ornate couch before dropping her head into her hands; her shoulders shaking with barely controlled grief. Ben's entire essence twisted under the emotional onslaught of his mother's personal loss. He'd thought it was just her in the chamber, but then Han had emerged from the shadows. His father's hair was more brown than gray, and his eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"He's gone?" The elder Solo's voice broke as his own grief mirrored his wife's.

Luke could only nod.

Ben's body crumpled under the staggering weight of black despair that surrounded the three figures across from him. In that moment, he wished that he'd never been conceived. If he'd never existed, then he couldn't have hurt his parents like this. He couldn't have disappointed them and rebelled against the Light. Watching their combined grief and knowing that he had caused it was terrible, but when combined with the knowledge that he had also caused the deaths of each of them...well, that started shredding his newly acquired Light.

With his head bowed, Ben never saw the approach of another person. A gentle hand started running through his dark hair before someone sank down before him. Long fingers slipping beneath his chin while the other hand wiped his wet cheeks.

"Ben." Rey's lilting voice tore him away from the staggering anguish of that moment.

His brown eyes flashed up, connecting with the bright worried gaze of the only person who might forgive him for his choices. Because he _knew_ that he would _never_ forgive himself. Ben couldn't bring himself to say anything lest she evaporate into thin air. He reached out with his shaking hands and then his shattered mind. But she didn't disappear. Rey remained solid, he gathered her against his chest seeking comfort he had no right to expect. She wrapped her arms around him and simply held him as he shook.

He didn't know how long they sat like that. His right leg was screaming at the forced awkward positioning beneath him. Her fingers trailed through his hair and around to the base of his neck, kneading the knots of stress.

"Ben." She leaned away but didn't let him go as she searched for his eyes.

He didn't look up. "I can't do this without you." He admitted softly. His chest shuddered with the suppressed emotions he'd spend the better part of twenty years running from.

Rey leaned down even further forcing him to lift his weary red-rimmed eyes. "You won't have to." she said firmly.

"Yes, I do. You died, remember?"

She chuckled. _That_ pulled his gaze up and he fixed her with that heady combination of dark intensity and vulnerable need that she found both intoxicating and frightening. "I couldn't let you do it, Ben. I couldn't allow you to trade your life for mine."

He leaned away as he realized what she just admitted to. "_You_ stopped the Force transfer?"

"I did."

"Why?" It came out as a strained whisper, his body shaking as he waited for an answer.

Rey smiled sadly. "Because I couldn't live with you dead."

His eyebrows drew together as familiar anger welled up, feeding his volatile emotions. "So, you forced _me_ to live without _you_?"

"That wasn't my intension. I didn't know we'd get stuck like this." She replied. Rey glanced over her shoulder at the frozen moment of time behind her. "I didn't know."

He let his hands drop to her waist. "What is happening to us?" He wanted to lean in and kiss her so badly his entire body ached with it.

"I don't know." She answered. Rey let her fingers slip along his jaw and trace the outline of his lips.

If her current regrets were half as painful as his, she too would suffer for her decision on Exegol.

_You released us Ben Solo. And now you'll spend the rest of your life locked inside your own mind in a hell of your own making. Welcome to your reckoning._

The deep voice thundered through the room shattering their connection. Rey was torn from his arms and Ben was thrust back into the emotional turmoil of the moment.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Thank you for your continued support. I can't wait for you all to read where this is heading…_

**Please take a moment and leave a review?**


	8. Severed

Author's Note: Please excuse any grammatical errors. I sometimes miss them when reading back through upon posting of a chapter.

**Chapter Eight**

_Severed_

Rey landed on the unforgiving ground, hard. She grimaced and at rubbed at the offending area with a rising irritation. This was becoming the norm for her. Ignoring a rock that had jabbed into her left calf, she rose slowly to her feet and looked around. She didn't recognize where she was, it was foggy with little to no other sounds. Tall walls of jagged glossy rock rose all around her. It would have been beautiful, if it hadn't been so terrifying. Her very soul was caught between the world of the living and the dead. She had to assume that at some point that link would weaken, and she would be completely _dead_.

"Hello?" She wasn't sure if she hoped that someone would answer or not. But all she got was more silence. Closing her eyes, Rey tried to grasp at the tenuous bond between her and Ben; there was nothing there. No echoes of that connection, which had been overwhelming in its power, filtered along her side of the Force. That lack of familiarity sent a wave of fear rolling through her.

Sinking down, Rey hugged her knees to her chest and waited. She was very good at waiting. Most of her life had been learning to wait and making the most of the situations she would find herself in. Her thoughts drifted to the tall son of the legendary Solos. He made her feel not so alone in this vast galaxy they all lived in. But more than that, he had given her the _hope _of something she'd never thought she'd find, a future…with someone else.

It was only a matter of time before she was drawn back into the ongoing fight between light and dark; in the meantime, she would just have to bide her time. Her heart ached when her thoughts again turned to Ben Solo. He was suffering, of that she was sure. And it wasn't just the emotional hell that she'd felt through their bond, before it had been cut off. No, Ben was suffering physically. His body was being damaged by something that was also severing his ability to use the Force. Rey sighed, he'd done so many things wrong, made so many bad choices that she wondered if he'd ever accept the fact that he'd been manipulated and seduced by powers so evil and dark that they couldn't seem to die.

The floating image of her paternal grandfather flitted past her conscious mind and she grimaced. Palpatine, he was her own special brand of torment. Rey had clearly seen what he offered, and with Ben's help she'd denied him that future. Now she was alone; except it was worse this time, because Rey had had someone to share this burden with. Even if he hadn't been on the same side, she and Ben had found a way to alleviate the terrible loneliness they'd both grown up with, together.

Their lives had been so different. They were both descended from powerful bloodlines with limitless potential, but how they had come into their powers; that was the stuff of legends.

Ben had had parents that had given him everything the galaxy could afford, but they hadn't given him what he needed most, unconditional love and emotional support. While her parents had left alone, with no idea of why they'd abandoned her to the harsh deserts of Jakku. And yet they sought the same thing, acceptance, belonging and love. When their _bond_ had begun manifesting, it had scared her. Why? What was there between her and the leader of the First Order that allowed them to traverse the limits of the galaxy with a single thought. She'd thought she was going mad when she'd awoken to find him sitting with a bored expression on his damaged face. The medical stiches were being flicked away by something she couldn't see, a droid most likely. But his expression had been one of boredom, not pain.

And that second time, when he'd interrupted her wonderment at the amount of water on the planet of Ach-Too. For the first time, Rey saw the flickering of some deep-seated emotion that she didn't yet recognize. He'd looked hurt when she reinforced her opinion that he was nothing but a _monster_. There had been a sincerity outline in sadness reflecting in his dark eyes when he'd admitted that, 'yes, he was'. For the first time since the whole crazy adventure had begun, Rey felt doubt about their enemy.

Wrapping her arms more tightly, she continued down this road to the past.

"_I'd rather not do this now." She said in a tight voice. Darkness had fallen over the island, making the path back to her hut treacherous if she wasn't vigilant. _

"_Yeah, me too." There was a resignation in his voice that told her was telling the truth. Kylo Ren wasn't any happier about these impromptu 'chats' than she was._

"_Why did you—" She began to voice the single question she'd longed to ask him since that horrible night on Starkiller. Her words froze as she turned to look in his direction._

_He was standing with his back to her. He'd obviously just finished something as he was either dressing or removing his clothing. Without his black tunic and cape, Ren was just a man. He was muscular, which she would fully expect from a person who lived life among the fighting elite. His skin was pale, like it never saw enough of the sun. Which she also would expect. Kylo lived aboard a cruiser, he would only set foot on planets when he was ordered to. It's not like the First Order offered vacation packages._

_Her mouth went dry as he turned to face her. He wasn't embarrassed, nor was he particularly happy to see her at the moment. Her eyes travelled along his frame and she pressed her lips together when they landed on the scars that littered his body. Several of them she recognized, the hole in his left shoulder when she'd stabbed him, the long, ragged scar that ran from above his right eye to just below his right collarbone, and of course the jagged hole left by Chewie's bolt blaster._

_But there was more there as she stared at him. Kylo wasn't used to being vulnerable in front of other people and standing before her with nothing but a pair of black trousers was the epidemy of vulnerable. _

"_Do you have something, a cowl or something you could put on?" She'd asked while trying to mask her own emotional reaction to his state undress. Instead of responding he'd stood there tall and still, facing her down like any other enemy. She could feel his unease trickling along their bond, which meant he could feel her physical reaction to him as well. _

"_Why did you hate your father, give me an honest answer?" She paused, gathering her thoughts as her own emotions boiled inside her. "You had a father who love you. Who gave a damn about you.—"_

_He started forward at a slow pace, closing the distance between them. "I didn't have him." He answered softly. His expression was open and there was no hint of deception in those dark eyes. He wasn't angry or enraged by her question, which she'd fully expected. Talking to this calm version of Kylo Ren was throwing her off balance._

"_Then why?" She ground past her tears._

_He tilted her head, "Why what? Why what, say it."_

_She pulled in a ragged breath, "Why did you kill him? I don't understand."_

"_No. Your parents threw you away like garbage."_

_Rey's face pinched with denial. "They didn't."_

_He pressed on. "They did. But you can't stop needed them…"_

_Their conversation had gone on and he'd eventually revealed why he'd turned on Luke Skywalker and Rey had seen nothing but truth in his eyes. He truly believed that his family, all of them, had abandoned him because they were scared of who and what he 'might' become. They'd never looked past his conflict to see the terrified boy hiding inside, waiting for someone to Light the way out of his own fears._

_All of them had helped turn him into the killer he eventually became. But not before that night. Ben hadn't killed anyone; it had been Luke's act that sealed Ben Solo's fate. At least that's what everyone had believed, except his mother. Leia had believed he could be saved, unbeknownst to her at the time, she had sacrificed her husband on the alter of that belief._

Recalling that devastating moment when Han had died, Rey felt her stomach contract painfully. She'd been so lost in her own grief that she hadn't really _looked_ at the man that had actually killed him. Allowing her mind to slip into the past she watched the scene with new understanding.

It wasn't any easier the second time; watching Kylo Ren strike down his father was tragically painful. But this time Rey tried to focus on Kylo's expression and inner turmoil rather than the shocked disbelieving expression on Han Solo's face. None of them had expected the son to strike down the father, but he had. And yet the moment he had; Rey felt his regret and the splitting of his soul. The act hadn't had the results he'd anticipated. The young dark apprentice had truly believed that striking down his father would end his tormented pain between the light and the dark sides of the Force. Instead he found his soul cleaved in half.

He watched his father with those haunted eyes as Han had lifted his hand, laying It gently against his cheek. Rey experienced the exact moment that Ren understood what the gesture meant; his eyes hardened as he tried to bury his own pain and waited for the smuggler to succumb to the mortal wound. Han had forgiven his son for the act before he'd even fully comprehended what his own death would mean. Kylo Ren had understood, that even had his father known the outcome he still would've paid the price to touch his son one last time.

If she hadn't been staring so intently into those dark shadowed eyes, Rey never would've seen it; that tiny, but significant, flash of pure _Ben Solo_.

_So, you weren't really gone. Not even then. _She realized with a sickening clarity what that moment must've been like for him and her heart broke in tiny shattered pieces. Ben had sought a place where he could _belong,_ without the fear, and it had cost him everything. _Oh Ben…I'm so sorry._

XXXX

Ben lay against the large bulkhead, his body writhing with unseen pain and his mind stretched so thin he wondered how it hadn't snapped. He didn't know how many deaths he'd relived only that it had seemed endless. He'd forgotten just how many lifeforms had fallen under his red saber; he'd been cruelly reminded. The only comfort had been the fleeting memory of Rey in his arms; the way she'd felt when she hugged him back had been, he couldn't even find a word to describe it. It didn't even matter that it had all happened inside his own head. _Hadn't it?_

He didn't know why he was back. But he was definitely not inside his head at the moment. The pulsing pain was far too real. Ben recognized the grimy gray wall of a resistance cell, one he'd likely been thrown into when he'd arrived. With great effort, he tried to shift into a seated position to alleviate some of his discomfort; instantly he regretted the attempt. It felt as though someone was shoving an ice pick through his eye and straight into his brain. He groaned and tried to turn over. Small things were bothering him, and they grounded him in _this_ reality at the same time.

A tiny stick was poking into his left ankle at an odd and strangely irritating angle. His right knee hurt badly enough he wasn't sure if he could do more than limp on the thing. Fighting would be next to impossible in his current condition.

Voices outside his door stopped his self-assessment. Flipping around, Ben tried to settle against the metal wall. It was cold. He was cold. He didn't know what was coming for him, but a part of him hoped it was Finn. The ex-stormtrooper at least had some Force-sensitivity and he seemed to believe that Ben really had a connection with Rey; one that was grounded in something real and honest.

For once Ben wasn't disappointed. Finn stepped through the narrow door, a blaster hanging at his side and an expression of intense focus on his young face. He'd changed into dark brown trousers and light tan leather jacket. It resembled the one that he'd worn when Kylo Ren had _toyed _with him outside of Starkiller base. That had been the first time that Ben had really engaged with the man formally known as FN 2187.

_The searing agony of a plasma blade slicing along his lower back and up to his shoulder blade overwhelmed his sense of reality. The determination and fear inside the young man attempting to protect his unconscious friend was obvious and potent. But the fear that he could fail was tainting everything in a way that made it difficult to focus. Ben felt the anger writhing inside the renegade stormtrooper and his intense desire to be the person Rey thought he was._

_His dark eyes lifted to where she lay unconscious; her body sprawled out in the snow from the uncontrolled impact with the tree above her. Remorse coiled in his gut at the sight of her. Ben knew she wasn't dead, but that didn't make his actions any more palatable. He'd hurt her. He'd done it on purpose, and he would do it again. This was not the person he'd wanted be when he was younger, and this 'scavenger' had touched something inside him that should be dead…but it wasn't._

_For the hundredth time, Ben hated the person he'd chosen to be. Perhaps he could have had something long-term with her had he been worthy; in time he might've been able to do that? He'd seen her hatred, her fear and her hope that she could save her friends. Those emotions had been at the forefront of her mind when he'd tried to rip the droid's location from her head. _

_At first, she hadn't seemed to be anything particularly special, but the more he tried to force her to reveal that knowledge, the more she'd fought. Her mind had clouded and then closed to him. Benn hadn't realized it at the time, but she'd found that hidden link between them and, even untrained, had used it to gain access to his innermost thoughts. _

_He'd been trained by the best and yet he hadn't felt it when she'd slipped past his guarded mind and retrieved a fear, he'd never voiced to anyone, living or dead. It was in that moment that he'd realized that moment that he'd been lost to her. Ben hadn't known that until she'd left him stranded on that desolate moon in the Endor system. Rey was his equal and opposite in every single way that mattered. And to say that they simply 'balanced' one another was to say that what they shared was common. It wasn't._

But the Force had seen fit to separate them and release _something_ into the galaxy that hadn't been seen in thousands of years.

A small orange alien followed just behind Finn and the former supreme leader found himself the recipient of an ancient once-over. The large glass objects that had been resting against the temples were maneuvered down into place; making those hazy brown eyes three times larger. But it was the wisdom and speculation reflecting out of those eyes that make his swallow uncomfortably. He wasn't comfortable with whatever was about to happen.

"Finn." Ben said evenly. His eyes flickering back and forth between his two visitors. A jab of electricity behind his eyes had him furrowing his brows at the unexpected pain. He curled in on himself without meaning to, his _visitors_ remained silent.

"Kyl—"

"_Don't_ call me that." It wasn't angry or rude, just resigned and pained.

Finn watched him struggle for several minutes before finally speaking. "I don't know what to call you." He admitted.

It shouldn't have surprised him that no one thought he could be anything but Kylo Ren, but he had found himself _believing_ that they might. His shoulders slumped, "Ben. Call me Ben."

"Not Kylo Ren?" The small alien asked skeptically.

Finn's nostrils flared with the sheer mental energy it was taking to not to turn and walk out the door, leaving _Ben_ to the darkest intensions of less forgiving resistance members. But that wasn't what Rey wanted, so unfortunately that meant it wasn't an option. While he loved Rey will all his heart, he didn't understand her insistence on this. Ren, _or Ben, whatever he was calling himself now,_ had done terrible things.

"Not anymore." His brown eyes shifted to the small alien standing at his side. There was a power and a light that seemed to radiate from her. It wasn't the Force, but it also wasn't that far off.

"Maz Kinyatta." Her face didn't soften, but she wasn't any more hostile toward him either, so Ben would take that as a small win. "Finn tells me you're suffering from Force-induced seizures?"

Ben snorted, then immediately regretted the act when his head exploded with an unrelenting pain. Clenching his teeth together, he ground out. "If that's…what you want…to call them." His body shook with the intensity of the agony raging inside him.

Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head, appraising him with a steady look. "What would you call them?" It was apparent to anyone with eyes that she had a theory about what she was seeing, but she wasn't going to say it out loud; not until she knew what Ben thought.

"It's a reckoning." He responded tightly. His eyelids were clenched shut and he was shaking with the effort.

Finn's eyebrows rose at that. "A reckoning? For what?"

Ben's dark eyes shot him a look that told him the older man thought he was an idiot. Another wave of pain stole his breath for several seconds. "Being Kylo Ren." He wheezed out.

Maz inhaled slowly. "An act of the Force?" she theorized to no one in particular.

The pained man nodded. His hands clenching into fists at his sides, beads of sweat starting to roll down his pale skin; his dark curls were plastered to his head.

"Hmmmm…I don't think so." Maz watched carefully as painful episodes continued to wrack Ben's writhing form.

Finn's gaze shifted to her, "Then what or how is this happening?"

Maz shrugged, "I think there is more than we have been told." Her wizened face turned to pin Ben with a _look_.

Biting through his lower lip to control the pain, he brought his eyes up and looked her in the face for the first time. "We awoke…something. When Rey and I challenged the Emperor, we…_unleased_ something."

"Unleased what?" the former stormtrooper asked warily.

Ben shook his head, "Don't know. But it's angry and I'm an easy target right now." His brown eyes drifted down to the twin bracelets feeding him with a constant supply of Force suppressing drugs. He couldn't protect his own mind, which left them all open to attack. But if this _entity_ managed to trap him inside his own mind, then they would have real trouble on their hands. Ben was a lot of things, but he couldn't function without his _mind_ and the entity had already proven it could lock him away in a never-ending loop of psychic, physical and emotional pain. Was it the Force? He didn't know, but it was possible, so he couldn't rule it out.

"There have been rumors for as long as I can remember that the Sith were not the only ones to use the darkside of the Force; they were simply the most famous." She leaned against the doorway, her fingers tapping at her lower lip as she considered. "It is possible that when Rey sent the dark energy of the Sith back into the Force, it allowed another, older evil, to escape."

Both Ben and Finn watched her with slowly widening eyes. Their combined silence was almost comical. At least it could have been if the situation hadn't been so dire. Ben hated that he could be so easily side-lined by a cosmic entity that they didn't know about or understand. At least with the Sith, the resistance had a fighting chance, but if Maz was right…they were all seriously _kriffed_.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _More this weekend. Would love to hear from you, if you're reading along consider leaving a review?_


	9. Released

**Chapter Nine**

_Released_

Life sucked, no one was more aware of that than Rey; and yet she _really_ wanted to get to back to living hers. Her eyes drifted around her surroundings and Rey felt her despair deepen. She was trapped and she was alone. Ben was out there somewhere, and she had been sidelined by her own death. She longed to be part of a combined future, but she still didn't regret stopping him from saving her. The thought of him existing in some kind of purgatory-like afterlife was more than she could handle. They had been able to touch, in those moments before she was flung away from him, and Rey wanted that again. Until a spectral being of some kind showed up and told her she was DEAD and needed to cross into the Force, she would continue to fight for a _chance_ at holding him again.

The fiery "spit of hope", as Snoke had called it, rose up inside her like a suddenly awoken dragon and she took a long breath before pushing up onto her feet. Her bones ached with the intensity of the damp cold and forced inactivity. The air around her seemed to crackle with a newfound energy, spinning she stared into the darkness and caught her breath in surprise. A distant glow was slowly growing larger, and the longer she focused the bigger it became. There was definitely something coming toward her.

Spinning, she looked for a safe battleground. True, she didn't have a weapon, but that had never stopped her before. The tall obsidian walls stood out and she rushed toward them, positioning her back against the cold stone. The light continued to move through the moist air like a wraith, intent on one thing, her.

The outline appeared to be that of a bi-ped swathed in soft red light. She swallowed her anxiety, straightened to her full height and waited. In Rey's experience it never helped to show fear in the face of an unknown enemy; and she'd never heard of the darkside 'red' associated with the Force of being anything but bad news for a Jedi.

As the entity got closer, she felt her hands start to shake; sweat gathering at her temples, her body tensing for anticipated action. But as the figure moved into focus, she gasped, Rey knew this person; what the hell was going on?

"Ben?" It came out as a whispered plea of denial. Her eyes blowing wide when he stopped and tilted his dark head, appraising her as one would an experiment. He was once again garbed in the full tunic and cape he'd worn the day she'd met him. A loose garment was wrapped around his shoulders, one that would act as cowl should he choose to don it. But worst of all was the t-shaped lightsaber hanging at his side, again.

Only then did Rey realize her mistake, this wasn't Ben Solo…this was Kylo Ren. Or at least the person he would have been if he hadn't been so burdened by his conflicting paths. There was no kindness in those dark eyes, simply curiosity and something far more sinister that she preferred not to dwell on.

"Rey of Jakku." His full lips parted in a strange imitation of a smile. "Or should I call you Rey Palpatine? Empress Palpatine?" He slowly closed the remaining distance between them as she remained silent, her heart pounding inside her chest. "Or…perhaps you believe you can take on the name of _my_ family, Solo…or is it Skywalker you'd prefer?" He reached out and ran a gloved finger along her cheek. A trail of fire followed the smooth almost feather-lite touch. It wasn't painful, just disarming. "What makes you think you are _worthy_ of such a mantle?" He finished.

She should have swatted his hand away, but Rey was too shocked to do anything more than flinch. His eyebrows rose, making him appear so much like Ben that it nearly drove the breath from her lungs.

"I can't feel you. Inside my head, you're gone." He admitted tersely.

Swallowing thickly, she found her voice was far shakier than she'd hoped when she answered. "My bond was with Ben Solo, not you."

He dropped his hand away like she'd burned him. "Was?" Kylo had homed in on her use of the past tense and it seemed to amuse him. His gaze drifted along her body and she shivered at the cold assessment reflecting out of those dark brown eyes.

Rey's anger started to bubble at his frigid regard. She was not a piece of meat for him to stare at. Not to mention, she'd bested Kylo Ren every time they'd faced one another in battle. Why should this time be any different? "I am _dead_. Ben is _alive_." She deadpanned.

"Is that what you think this is? An afterlife?" He chuckled harshly. It sounded foreign in her ears and she wished he'd just stand there and _loom_ over her instead of trying to behave as though they had shared something funny. They weren't friends. He waved his hand and the opaque atmosphere instantly lifted revealing a dense forest. The tall trees had been petrified by unknown years of exposure to the toxic fumes of a dead planet. Great rivers of lava lit up the landscape like the scars of Ren's repaired helmet.

Her mouth fell open and she stared out in shock. "Where am I?" She hadn't meant to voice her question aloud, and she certainly hadn't expected Kylo to answer.

"You don't recognize it?"

Forgetting that he wasn't Ben, she shook her head.

He nodded once, "Exegol."

"That's not possible." She argued.

He snorted, "You thought they took you with them? You said it yourself, you are dead. You did your part, what could you offer them now?"

Her vision blurred with unshed tears as all the issues she'd harbored since her parents had left her alone on Jakku came flooding back with a vengeance. "No." Rey whispered hoarsely. "Ben wouldn't…Finn wouldn't let them leave me behind." It came out small and afraid, even in her own ears.

"But they didn't leave you. They left your body." He corrected. It wasn't cruel, just a fact, as he saw it. Kylo reached out, his eyes softening and plucked at a silken spiral near her ear. He twirled the soft strands between his thumb and forefinger before leaning forward to whisper, "Rey, there shouldn't have been a body. If _you_ had been accepted as a true Jedi…" He didn't finish the thought. He didn't need to, Rey finished it for him.

"I would have been welcomed into the Light." Her throat tightened with conflicting emotions. She'd given everything she had to the Jedi and the resistance, why hadn't the master's accepted her? Her knees wobbled and she sank down wrapping her arms around her knees.

Rather then standing above her, Kylo Ren sank down onto his haunches, his expression sincere. "Say it." He directed softly. Tears streaming down her face, Rey lifted hazel eyes to meet the calm brown. This wasn't the emotionally volatile man she'd come to know; this was the resolved determined apprentice to a Sith. But inside those dark depths was that same connection to her, that scared her more than anything else. Rey could see herself with him. See the shared power they would command and the intensity with which they would rule, together. "Rey, say it." He prodded.

Her vision blurred as she stared at him. "It's a bloodline. The power of the Sith—"

Interrupting, he shook his head, "No, not the Sith."

She blinked several times considering that. "The darkside, it travels along a bloodline."

"And what are you?" Setting his gloved hand on her forearm, he waited patiently for her to come to the conclusion on her own. He'd learned how to read her in their time together and now he used that knowledge to lead her down the path he needed her to take.

Sniffing, she looked up. "I _am_ that bloodline."

"Yes, you are. So, you can't join the Jedi on the 'other side'. Your very cells can't do it. The blood that pumped through your veins in life, won't allow it." He shifted and settled next to her. Reaching out, Ren wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You would always have been split from _him _upon your death. But not from me."

She knew she should throw off his comforting warmth, but Rey was so tired of being alone. And what he was saying made sense. Her body hadn't faded away as Leia's likely had; her body had remained upon her death, tied to the world of the Sith Eternal. Was this why her like to Ben had been severed? Had she moved past the point at which she could even be resurrected?

She had a burning question she'd been biting back since she'd seen him walking toward her. "How are you even here? You and Ben Solo are the same person." She asked through her ragged breaths. She didn't expect him to answer; she was pleasantly surprised when he did.

"The darkness is not so easily discarded. When you stabbed me on Kef Bir, you resigned this part of Ben Solo, me, to the darkside of the Force. And when you came to Exegol and forbade the exchange of his life for yours; Rey, you set me free. On this world where the Sith died, I was reborn." He turned to face her more fully. "I have the power to bring you back. But I can't follow you without a body and _Ben Solo_ has my body. You can have everything you ever wanted. You only need to reach out and take my hand."

Just as he'd done so many times before, he stretched out his long fingers. Only this time he removed the black leather glove. Her eyes darted between his earnest expression and the solid flesh resting just in front of hers. She recalled the moment she'd touched his hand inside the hut and the rush of emotions that had flowed along that link. If she took his hand would she lose a part of herself to him? Or would he lose a part of himself to her? He didn't pull his hand away as her eyes sought his. Within those dark depths she saw Ben…her Ben, as he could've been. Was this the part of him that had been lost during the battle with the Emperor? Could she save him this way? Restore his power to him?

She'd lost so much in her lifetime and for once Rey found she just wanted to have a piece of something that was hers. A person that was _hers_.

It happened in an instant, she lifted her fingers a fraction of the distance before placing her smaller hand inside his open larger one. The _bond_ between blazed to life in a flash. It wasn't what Rey had expected, she screamed in pain as unlimited power rushed into her seeking her very core. "Thank you for truly setting me free." His voice caressed her mind, but it was a distant echo as she writhed against the cold stone beneath her.

Her body rocked with the savage energy coursing through every cell. And suddenly everything blinked out of existence.

XXXX

Ben leaned against the cool metal of his makeshift cell. He had a fever and he was constantly nauseated, which could've been caused by any number of things. He hadn't had any further Force-seizures, but his powers were still dampened by the cuffs on his wrists. It had been two days since Finn and the ancient creature named 'Maz' had been so see him. Since then, no one but the guards had been inside his cell. They'd brought him food and ensured that he had plenty of water. The planet was hot, and the constant rains kept the moisture high enough that Ben was sure he'd never be dry again.

At least his body had finally started to cease throbbing with every breath he took. He wasn't fully healed from his ordeal on Exegol, but he was at least moving toward that. The right knee he'd damaged during their fight with the Emperor still twinged with shards of pain, but it was better. Ben shifted, reaching to grab the metal flask of cool water. He gulped back the entire contents of the container and set it aside before grabbing a second one. Leaning forward he started to unscrew the cap when he was interrupted.

A single knock on his door pulled his eyes upward. _No one knocked before entering his cell._ He didn't answer since he didn't really believe the knock was a request for entrance. Finn slipped through the partially opened door.

He was alone this time, Finn's eyes were wary as he approached the shackled man. "Can I ask you something?"

Ben tilted his head and then nodded. It wasn't like he could deny Finn, not really.

Finn pushed the door shut behind himself and then moved to settle on a wooden cask sitting across from the former leader of the First Order. Ben's eyes followed his progress with rising interest. "Why did Rey believe you would turn?" the former stormtrooper asked without delay.

His question stunned Ben. He found himself at a loss for words. It hadn't occurred to him that Rey would not have revealed their bond to her friends. And he really wasn't sure how to describe it himself. Swallowing, he took a deep breath and shifted his weight back against the wall, unconsciously seeking the solid strength. "I'm not sure I can explain it. Not in a way that will make sense to you."

The ex-stormtrooper pressed his lips together. "Try." He shot back, irritated at the perceived dismissal.

"How much do you understand about the Force?" Ben asked after several moments. He wasn't trying to make Finn feel stupid, he truly needed to know where to start. His knowledge of the Force was so ingrained in him that he would, on occasion, assume others knew as much about the Jedi and the Sith as he did. He watched several emotions flit across the other man's face before he answered in a stilted voice.

"Only what Rey's told me. General Hux didn't exactly want stormtroopers knowing much about what he called a 'misguided religion of soothsayers and machinations'." It was probably the most honest he'd ever been with Ben Solo, or himself concerning the Force. He could sense it, that unifying power that surrounded life and death, but he didn't know what that meant. Finn had hoped that Rey would teach him—he cut off that line of thinking. He couldn't think about her like she was gone. They were going to bring her back; bring her home.

Ben's eyebrows drew together at the mention of Hux's name. He'd never liked that slimy little ginger-rat. He and Armitage had vied constantly for the supreme leader's favor and that had often ended in painful teaching moments for Ben; always at Snoke's insistence. "What did she tell you about her family?"

"Just that they left her on Jakku."

He sighed, his dark eyes were sad as he debated whether or not to tell Finn the truth about her lineage. It wasn't his place and the last thing he wanted was to betray Rey's trust. He'd done so much to damage her faith in him already that he didn't want to add to that list. "I don't know why she didn't tell you the truth—"

Finn interrupted, "She saw herself on the throne of the Sith. That was the only truth I needed to know. It terrified her."

"I know." And he did. Because Ben had seen the same thing, only with himself seated beside her as the ruled the galaxy with fear and blood.

"They why would she risk creating that future just to try and save _you_?" Finn bit out the last word. His contempt was clearly evident; leaning forward he waited for a response.

Ben licked his lips and crossed his long legs at the ankles. "I assume you already know my story; my mother was the daughter of Vader. Anakin Skywalker..." He wasn't expecting the lancing pain that erupted in his chest at the mention of Leia. Finn nodded. "Rey's father was the son of Senator Palpatine of Naboo." He waited for the other man to piece together the information he'd just revealed. It took less time thank he'd expected.

Sucking in a breath, Finn's eyes widened as he realized just what Ben had told him. _Palpatine…_ "How do you know anything about Rey's father? She didn't."

He didn't say anything for several moments, considering carefully just how much he wanted to tell Finn. "When I found Exegol, the first time, I was informed of Rey's past and the intended role I was to have in her future, by Emperor Palpatine." He saw denial twitch at the corners of Finn's lips. "He didn't lie. Darth Sidious had no reason to lie to me."

"Darth Sidious?"

Ben nodded.

"I thought he was a myth."

"Like my uncle?" An amused jerk to Ben's lips caught Finn off guard. "Didn't you think _Luke Skywalker_ was a myth too; Lando, and Han Solo?" His voice caught on his father's name and he dropped his eyes. He wondered if that pain would ever recede to the back of his mind. Probably not. It wasn't like he'd earned that respite.

Finn straightened up. "Rey was a Palpatine?"

"She _is_ a Palpatine." He corrected quietly.

"Right. That still doesn't explain why she was so dead set on you turning away from the darkside." He crossed his arms over his chest.

Ben scratched at the cuffs as they injected the liquid into his veins. It was on a schedule that was randomized to ensure he couldn't anticipate it. The burn of the chemical coursing through him and the nausea that followed silenced his response for a moment. He waited for it to pass before going on. Finn watched the silent man with a guarded expression. For the millionth time Ben wished he had his powers; he wasn't used to guessing what people were thinking when it came to him.

Finn needed to know the rest of their story. What was it between Ben Solo and Rey that had prompted her decision to run away from her true friends? He remembered the shocked disappointment when she had hit him with a wave from the Force on top of that battered Death Star. He'd only wanted to help her, and she'd shoved him away in favor of saving Kylo Ren; _no, not Kylo but Ben. _

"This won't make sense to you." Ben said. He continued rubbing his wrists at the injection site. He ignored the irritated look Finn threw in his direction. "There are two sides to the Force—"

"I know that."

Ben continued like he hadn't been interrupted, "Within those sides there are certain bloodlines that are very powerful. The Skywalker line carries so much potential power in the Light side, that it unbalanced the Force. That's part of what made my grandfather susceptible to the Emperor and allowed his seduction to the darkside. While the Palpatine line has been overwhelmed by the darkness with little to no Light anywhere in that lineage. Just as my grandfather was the first Skywalker to reject the Light for the powers of the darkside, Rey is the first Palpatine to deny the darkside for the power of the Jedi. The Force created a dyad. Two presences within the Force that are actually one. Equally powerful and equally divided." He tried to explain their Force connection in a way that might make sense to Finn.

The man seated across from him had leaned forward, his face rapt with attention as he listened intently. "Okay."

Ben shifted, slowly gathering his legs under himself before he rose to his feet. "Rey and I share a bond that allowed us to communicate across any distance. She could see me, and I could see her. The closer we got the more we were able to _feel_ one another's emotions. When I was trying to get to her on Exegol, I was intercepted by my Knights. I had already thrown away my lightsaber on Kef Bir and I am never as powerful without one as I was with that blade in my hands. She sensed me there and when the Force connected us, Rey passed me Luke's lightsaber _through_ that connection." His lips twitched. "She saved me. More often that she should have."

Finn wasn't sure what to say to that, he'd revealed a true weakness to him by telling him about the lightsaber. Rey and Kylo had had some sort of Force-bond? He'd never heard of such a thing, but to be fair there was a lot about the galaxy that he'd never known. And the Force was so much a mystery that it felt like he'd never learn even a fraction of the secrets it held. He didn't think about what he did next, for once Finn simply followed his gut feelings. He stood and crossed the distance between them before holding out his hand.

A look of confusion flitted over Ben's face, "What?"

"Give me your hands." Finn didn't wait, he grabbed at one of the most dangerous men in the known galaxy without any true fear. He had to trust that Ben didn't want him dead. Because honestly if he had, would the former leader of the Knights of Ren need his powers to do it? He'd been trained for decades to fight alongside the best trained assassins the First Order had ever created. Pulling the small golden key from his pocket, he released the locks on the two cuffs.

His eyes dropped to the red scabs that had developed where the injectors had been inserted into his veins. And the fresh line of blood trickling along the inside of his wrists. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Would it have mattered?"

Finn wanted to argue that 'yes' it would've mattered. This was the resistance, not the First Order; they didn't torture their prisoners, no matter who they were. And yet, he knew better; had Ben tried to mention his pain it wouldn't have made them remove the cuffs any sooner. As it was, he was going to have a huge argument about his decision with Poe and Rose.

Ben's dark eyes lifted to meet his and he slowly lowered his arms. "Thank you." The words felt foreign to him. He wasn't sure when he'd said them last. He'd been so focused on his own wants and those of his master for so long that Ben wasn't sure who he would be without that. He'd been lost inside the quest to destroy his family's legacy. It had been Rey's introduction into his world that had set a new quest in motion.

A sudden blast of psychic power so strong it steamrolled down a connection that had been silent for the past several days nearly knocked him unconscious. It hit his mind and send him to his knees as every muscle failed simultaneously. This wasn't just power; it was the combined energies of the darkside of the Force. He hadn't felt anything like it since he'd been in the presence of the Emperor. That sent a bolt of fear through him. Because it wasn't just the darkness, this was familiar…and it had Rey's essence infused with it like a woven blanket.

It felt as though his mind was being torn in half. Ben had fought his own conflicted soul for his entire life; and this was different. This was like being shattered from the inside out. He didn't remember crying out in pain, but his vocal cords strained under the savage attack against his mind.

Finn surged forward trying to catch the larger man as his eyes rolled up into his head. His final cry sounded like it had been ripped from someplace deep inside Ben's soul. And had Finn not been supporting his weight, he never would've recognized the one ragged word he'd screamed out in desperation.

"NO, REY!"

XXXX

The medical tech turned toward the cryogenics pods and stammered to a halt when he realized that one of them was open. Hurrying forward, his eyes narrowed and then blew wide in shocked dismay. The pod that had housed the body of the Jedi, Rey, was empty. And it looked as though the lock had been cut by a laser torch…or a lightsaber.

He grabbed up a communicator and sent up an alarm throughout the resistance base. Poe Dameron was the voice that answered his, "What did you say? Repeat your last?"

"The Jedi's body, it's gone sir. She's gone."

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _So, this is finally starting down the road I've been building toward for the last several chapters. Rey had believed so much that she could save Ben Solo, I wondered what would happen if he had to face down the man he'd been in order to save her. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I thank you for your continued support._

**Please leave a review…?**


	10. Transference

**Chapter Ten**

_Transference _

Ben's head swirled in a kaleidoscope of colors complete with voices he couldn't identify. And he sure as hell couldn't block it, or them, out of his mind. The combined strength was something so far out of the ordinary. He lay somewhere between awareness and total lack of consciousness.

Finn called for help as he collapsed under the weight of the larger man. He'd known that Ben was large, but he hadn't expected him to be quite so dense...or heavy. He glanced up as several armed resistance fighters burst through the door followed closely by Poe and BB-8. He stumbled to a stop when he recognized the tangled heap of flesh on the floor. "Finn!" He hurried forward to help roll the dead weight off of his friend.

"I don't know what happened." The younger man said as he slipped to the left and helped to settle Ben down on the ground. His eyes were rolling back and forth beneath his clenched eyelids. His face was scrunched in pain and he'd curled in on himself as soon as Finn released him.

Poe stepped away as a medical technician hurried into the room. "What're you even doing in here?"

With a shrug, Finn ignored the question.

"Rey…" Ben rasped heavily. Blood trickled from his left ear and his nose as he started to regain his senses. He pushed at the probing fingers of the medical person and slowly shifted into a seated position; his head buried in his hands.

Finn glanced as Poe before sinking down next to Ben. "What happened?"

"It's Rey. Something changed; something happened to her." He said shakily.

Poe leaned against the opposite wall, folding his arms over his chest. He wasn't sure if he believed Ben or not, but he didn't question Finn's loyalties. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know." The confusion was evident in his dark eyes as he tried to shake some clarity into his head, there was an incessant buzzing that he couldn't seem to eliminate.

The pained expression on his pale face sent panic fluttering through Finn.

"It was like she…was overloaded by the Force?" Ben added, he broke off and blinked a few times. The small medical tech started cleaning the blood from his right ear before depressing a hypo spray into his shoulder. He never so much as flinch.

Finn ignored the feelings of nausea that seemed to hang around their _guest_. Whatever was going on it was grounded in the Force, which meant that Finn could also be affected. Looking at the bent over form of the other man he was glad he wasn't that sensitive.

Ben didn't know how to explain the savage pressure inside his head. He wasn't even sure if it was him or if it was residual from whatever had happened to Rey. His insides twisted at that.

Finn knelt down near him, his hands twitching with the need to do _something_. "Ben." He used the other man's given name hoping it would focus him. "What did you feel?"

He couldn't breathe, his chest shuddered with emotions he didn't know how to release. And the racking pain inside his head felt as though he was being ripped in half. There was a distinct taint of the darkside and woven through it was Rey's Light. It scared him, no…it terrified Ben to think that Rey may have finally lost her battle with the darkness. He racked his brain trying to come up with a scenario that would cause the strongest woman he'd known to hand over her soul and power to the darkside. He couldn't come up with one.

Swallowing, Ben pushed at the hands of the medical technician as he shifted into a seated position. The world swam before him in a sea of blurry lines. He closed his eyes and focused on centering himself. The Force was still out of his reach due to the drugs, but at least he could settle his raging mind into a calmer state. He'd spent so long being ruled by his emotions that he would take any chance he could get to begin working through that.

"It was like something was _ripped_ out of her. I don't know how to explain it." He admitted honestly. This was beyond Ben's experiences. And unlike Rey, he didn't have some _Jedi Master_ Force-ghost to give him sage advice. He'd spent his life trying to find his place in the galaxy; it had started to feel like an impossible task; and then he'd met Rey. "It is a power unlike anything I've ever felt, and it _electrified_ the bond between us. The power… it was like being force-fed from an endless ocean of it."

Finn's eyebrows lifted and he glanced at the technician. Whatever he saw in the former stormtrooper's eyes caused him to gather his gear and hurry from the room. Poe finally seemed to have had enough of imitating a statue; he shoved away from the wall and strode over to where Ben was awkwardly leaning against the metal partition. Squatting down, he exhaled loudly.

"You need to stop speaking in riddles. My friend asked a simple question, you need to answer it." His eyes darted between his Finn and the most ruthless man he'd ever had the misfortune of knowing. Poe's blaster hung at a loose angle in his hand. Ben had no doubt that the resistance pilot could aim and fire before he could stop him. Not in his current condition.

Frowning, his eyes went vacant as he searched for a way to better explain the extraordinary power that governed their galaxy. Because what he'd just experienced was beyond his verbal acuity to describe.

Something out there had been seeking an outlet, and it had hit his drugged mind with a vengeance. The intoxication of his mind due to the drugs had repelled it. The moment that had happened, that entity had been enraged. Rather than releasing that power it had backlashed on the wielder; in this case Ben believed that origin had been Rey.

Was it possible that in his fugue state he'd just destroyed her soul? The depth of his pain at that possibility almost swallowed him whole. His eyes stung with burning emotion and his head pounded in time with his heart. "I think it was sent by Rey." He managed, his eyes shifting to meet Finn's. "She's still out there."

"And fighting." Poe said, he surged to his feet and ran his hands through his hair in agitation.

Ben shook his head, immediately regretting the act when his brain seemed to _swish_ inside his skull. His stomach flipped dangerously, and he wondered if he would ever feel a hundred percent again. He was starting to seriously doubt it. "It didn't feel like that. It was like, she wanted to send it out."

"What?!" Finn cried; denial clearly evident in his pitched voice. His shoulders squared and his eyes narrowed. "Rey would never do that. She's the strongest person I've ever known."

Ben nodded once. "Yes, she is. But even the strongest tree can be felled by the right axe." He responded softly, a hint of sadness creeping into his words.

Without warning, he found himself staring down the barrel of a blaster for the second time that day. He wasn't afraid, though he knew he probably should be. Poe had no qualms about ventilating his head. Although, if it saved him from the migraine he was going to have later, he might be okay with it.

The small droid beeped curiously.

An overwhelming sense of anger settled like a black cloud just before the door to the cell blew inward with a blast of power that sent all three men rolling into the far corner.

XXXX

Rey stood in the center of the narrow doorway, her white garments clinging to her body as the moisture impregnated the material. Her vision was ringed with a haze of red and anger wavered in and out of her mind. Her hazel eyes searched for a specific presence and when they landed on Ben Solo, she stepped into the room.

His eyes went wide at the sight of her right hand. Clasped between her fingers was the t-shaped handle of his lightsaber. There was no way she could have that; he'd tossed it into the raging oceans on Kef Bir. And yet she did have it.

"Rey." Finn breathed, gathering his legs beneath himself he began to rise to his feet. She didn't look like the girl he'd met on Jakku. In fact she looked as scary as Kylo Ren had when he'd been standing in the snow threatening their lives.

"I'm not here for you." She said simply. Her gaze never leaving the stunned form of the former supreme leader. "I'm here for him."

Poe was quicker to regain his feet. He didn't have a clue what he was seeing, but the lack of smile on Ben's face probably wasn't a good thing. "Rey, we thought you were—"

"Dead?" She responded evenly, her body never even shifting so much as a muscle. "I was. Because I had to do what _he _couldn't. I had to save the Skywalker legacy." She tipped her chin toward the man in black.

Reaching out with her mind, Rey began lifting Ben to his feet. She was slow about it when the pain it was causing him flashed through her mind. She smiled. Finn and Poe started forward, but she pinned them with the Force. Slowly, deliberately she raised up the last Skywalker until he was teetering on unsteady feet. His face a mask of pain and uncertainty. And buried beneath the intensity of his emotions was a fear of rejection that so was much a part of him that she could taste it.

"Where's Rey?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"I am Rey."

Shaking his head, he coughed before answering. "No. You might be wearing her body, but you are NOT Rey. I can feel it."

She twitched her hand and he screamed as fire seemed to rocket through his veins. He doubled over before collapsing forward onto his hands and knees. His left shoulder gave under the impact and he toppled to the floor.

Both Finn and Poe tried to protest, but she held them in a silent still state as she knelt in front of the felled figure of the last Sith apprentice. Rey's fingers slipped out and she touched his face.

Ben's entire body stiffened; his eyes wide in shock. Power seemed to ripple between them as the entity passed along the connection seeking his body as a vessel.

Even Poe, who wasn't Force sensitive at all, heard the mental cry of anguish as Ben's mind was peeled apart to make room for the dark presence. If he'd been conflicted before, now he was nothing but rage and purpose. His body healed before their eyes as he climbed nimbly to his feet, smoothing his hands through his soft black hair. But his expression was cold, calculating and devoid of the warmth had been there moments before.

Rey's legs collapsed beneath her as the power sought another host. She'd believed that it had been a part of Ben, but as she stared at the sudden shift in his eyes, she knew better. In her desperation, she had brought the dark power from the depths of Exegol and handed Ben Solo over as a sacrifice to its' dark designs. Desperate to undo her mistake, she reached out with her mind, seeking the Force-bond between them. The pain and betrayal she felt through that bond nearly broke her resolve. Beneath the hatred, anger and vengeful fury, she felt _him_ fighting to regain control over his mind and body.

_Ben…I'm sorry. _She sent it along the link, hoping he would hear it. Rey was surprised when she received the clear acceptance of her apology. It was tinged with the soft blue of his love for her.

_I love you, Rey…_ As quickly as she felt it, the emotional connection blinked into the blackness.

He didn't address her or the other two men in the room. He simply walked out of the cell, but not before he thrust out his hand and called the lightsaber into his waiting fingers. And then they were left along.

She had no idea how she'd gotten here, or even where _here_ was. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wasn't dead anymore and in trying to achieve that, she'd just resigned Ben to a _living hell_.

TBC…

**Author's Note: **_Short chapter, I know. But everything just kind of fell into place with this one and I wanted to share it._


	11. Consequences

**Chapter Eleven**

_Consequences_

There have moments throughout history that the galaxy had deemed as _universe-altering, _and the second that _hive-mind_ rippled between Rey and Ben's physical bodies was no different.

A wave that hadn't been felt for more than three thousand years thundered through the Force. It had a kinetic fire with the ability to _unmake_ any lifeform unfortunate enough to be caught in its path. But the blood that coursed through both Ben Solo and Rey was that of legends and couldn't be so easily exercised from existence. Their combined lineages had enveloped them in a shield that contained both of their spirits and their immense power.

An overwhelming wrath wove through the Force and at the center was the _hive-mind. _There was such a focused intensity that it nearly demolished Ben's own spirit. His entire soul ached with barely contained rage; it was exploding from within him in torrents of violent intent. The young man's innate ability to access the Force had created an excruciating despair that overshadowed every other moment in his life. The tiny part of him that was still able to comprehend anything at all, wondered if this was how it would all end? Had the dyad between him and Rey unleashed an evil that the galaxy wasn't prepared to deal with?

Digging past excruciating pain, he desperately reached for something to ground himself before he was absorbed by the power crucifying him from the inside out. Thrusting his mind into the Force he scoured it for anything to latch onto, any type of anchor that would allow him to stay present in _this_ moment. The presence that extended toward him was not one he'd expected.

His father's spirit flowed through him providing the boost of power Ben needed to root himself inside his own body. The staggering sense of devotion that melted along that connection nearly stole his breath and made his heart ache. He'd always believed that his father had simply _tolerated_ him. It was that assumption that had allowed him to take that final step in claiming his father's life. Han Solo had been very self-concerned and having a small boy follow him around with a case of hero-worship had been fun until Ben had grown older and expect his father to actually interact with him. At that point his legend of a father had been frustrated by Ben's constant desire to be wherever _he_ was.

That aggravation had bled along the link and poisoned his relationship with his father. Unlike Ben's mother, he'd never had the Force to base his feelings on where Han was concerned. Misery blossomed inside him and Ben felt the loss of his father all over again. He knew that he'd been forgiven for his part in that death, but he hadn't absolved himself of that momentary blindness in his heart.

Ben was trapped inside his own mind; the darkness was surrounding him in a bleak future. The _presence _had locked him behind the iron hard cables inside his head; it was almost like he was the interloper stealing away moments from someone else. Everything hurt, but nothing was more painful than his broken spirit. In the last year he'd found something to fight for and then had it stolen away. He wasn't ignorant to his part in Rey's loss. She'd offered him something he couldn't ignore.

He had felt it as her light wavered beneath the malevolent _hive-mind_. Yet it felt as though she'd _willingly_ brought that mind with her from the other side. The vile hatred of that _mind_ was even worse than the glimpses Ben had seen into Snoke's head. What he couldn't understand was why? Why would Rey have allowed that _thing _to hitch a ride back with her soul? While they didn't know each other really well, he couldn't wrap his head around that decision. And yet he also hadn't forgotten that she had _died_, so how could he ever comprehend what she'd been exposed to on the other side.

Fair or not, Ben was feeling a certain sense of betrayal. The idea that she would knowingly allow him to be overpowered by the _hive-mind_ shattered things inside him that he wasn't sure could be healed. Without meaning to, Ben had allowed her past all of his emotional defenses. And now she occupied a place that only his parents had ever occupied previously.

Rey was everything he'd never known he wanted. She was so powerful, incredibly smart, driven beyond sanity and she was impossibly beautiful; his head swam with everything he'd believed they could be. _No, I still believe we can be all of those things._

Ben felt the slither of that cold presence as it ground through every part of his leaving fiery torment behind it. The worst part was, that it wasn't just his mind; this _thing _was inside every single cell of his being. When Rey had touched him, the power transfer had been so intense that Ben had been unable to fight the _hive-mind_ as it peeled him apart; stealing what was his by birth. It ransacked his secrets and riffled through his thoughts; his very feelings had been torn from him with a ruthless efficiency as it searched for something. Ben wasn't even sure if the entity had found what it wanted; he'd been blinded by the blast of electrifying agony that had preceded its transference to his body.

A piercing agony unlike anything he'd experienced, since learning of Rey's death, penetrated him, searching out his weaknesses and playing upon his fears. He had felt the precise moment when he lost control of his body, it felt as though he'd been stuffed through a meat grinder. Or perhaps it was closer to spending weeks locked away with one of the interrogation drones? Either way, those feelings were something he hoped to never experience again. The residual effects of having his mind clawed open were still rippling through him with a fierce vengeance.

He tried to focus through the darkness, but he couldn't even see where the _hive-mind_ was taking his body. He had to assume that it was nowhere good. Blackened chaos swirled through his very essence like a dark companion that he couldn't quite rid himself of. Out of that endless spinning vortex it occurred to him to wonder if this was what it had felt like when he'd used the Force to ply information from the unwilling minds of his enemies? If it was, Ben actually felt bad for the heinous act. It wasn't something that he'd experienced personally, it was terrible.

Snoke had never seized control of his consciousness, he'd never had to. The supreme leader had always been able to take anything he wanted from his apprentice's mind. He'd seen the second-guessed decisions and the conflicting emotions that had been a constant struggle for Ben.

Exhaustion was weighing him down as he tried to fight against blinking darkness at the edges of his consciousness.

XXXX

Ben Solo's body moved through the resistance base with a sense of purpose and authority that kept others from approaching him. Well, almost everyone. Watching the former supreme leader move, she immediately saw the differences. This wasn't the man she'd seen before.

Maz watched from a distance, her eyeglasses were sitting firmly in place and her mouth hung open with shock. She didn't understand what had happened, but she did recognize that the man before her wasn't the same one she'd spoken to the other day. Her eyes twitched with uncertainty and she picked at the sleeve of her jacket. The rain started and she pressed further back into her space.

She watched as a young woman, Yara Jaystar, worked on the ramp of a small cruiser ship. The girl's bhead and hands were buried inside the lifting mechanism, so she didn't notice the stalking presence of the approaching figure. He must have finally said something because she spun around so fast, she nearly lost her balance. A small welding torch went flying, which he deftly caught in his right hand.

The taller man reached out and grabbed her shoulder with one large hand. Maz was just about to rush out of her dark corner when both figures locked up like they'd been electrocuted. Their combined expressions informed her that neither one of them had expected what was happening. But it was Ben Solo's face that was pinched with a torturous agony that didn't seem to be dissipating no matter how long they trembled.

Yara's face had been frozen in one of acceptance and was slowly shifting from pain to nothing at all. Her body straightened up and her eyes shifted from dark brown to a burning yellow-red.

Everything happened so quickly that Maz didn't have a chance to react. There was a burst of intense light, it flashed between Ben and Yara's bodies right before he collapsed to the ground in a heap of shivering flesh. And she turned toward the ship with a stunning speed that wasn't human. The young woman leaned down toward Ben's inert body, grabbed something and then disappeared into the ship she'd been working on.

There was no warning, the ramp closed, and the engines started to spin up.

Maz slipped from her corner, gripping her small blaster just a bit tighter before hurrying toward the unconscious man. The engines of the shuttle flared and within moments the ship was lifting into the atmosphere and quickly disappearing into the skyline.

Kneeling down, Maz reached out and placed a gentle hand against Ben's neck. She released the breath she'd been holding when she felt the strong steady thump of a heartbeat. While she hadn't known the princess well, she had seen the immense toll losing Leia's only son had taken on her. And knowing the sacrifice that had been made to save this man, Maz couldn't let him to die. Her dark eyes lifted toward the sky and she sighed at the loss of the girl.

Not knowing what had actually happened made it difficult to determine if Yara was truly lost to them or not. But if past dealings with the darkside were anything to go by, chances weren't great for the girl.

Pounding feet and increasing cries of confusion rang out behind their position. Maz left her hand resting on Ben's chest as she turned to wave Finn and Poe toward them. To her incredible surprise they were followed by the stumbling form of Rey. She looked out of sorts and her eyes were guarded.

They all skidded to a stop when they spotted her…and Ben's limp form. The combined looks of shock on their faces might have been comical if the situation hadn't been so tragic.

It was Poe that recovered first. Shaking off his surprise, he rushed forward sinking to his knees. His dark eyes were full of concern as he stared over at Maz and the blank landing pad behind her. With a twitch of his eyebrows, he allowed his gaze to drop to the unconscious man at her side.

"What happened?" He slipped a peek back at Rey and Finn. Neither of them had moved yet.

Shaking her head, Maz shifted so she could see him better. "A transference. I think."

"A what?"

Sinking back onto her haunches as Ben lay completely still, she crossed her arms. His chest shuddered with a deep breath and his eyelids twitched. Rey moved with a suddenness that caught the other to off guard. She dropped to her knees and started to touch him, pulling back before her fingers could make contact. The naked fear on her face broke Maz's heart.

Rey swallowed and leaned forward to simply feel his breath against her cheek. She was still trying to understand just what had happened. She'd felt Ren when she had reached out, but the moment her fingers had brushed his, she'd realized her mistake. Whatever had been seducing her hadn't been the man she'd reluctantly let into her life; no, it had been something treacherous and evil. As soon as the _hive-mind_ had begun to seep into every part of her, Rey had wanted to take it back.

She couldn't. And the next thing she knew, she was kneeling in a room with Finn leaning over her. His face a mask of worry and his arms wrapped loosely around her. She'd blinked away the burn of tears as comprehension worked itself into her mind. She'd brought the very evil they'd been fighting against back with her.

_No, I did something far worse. I brought the entire history of the darkside back with me._ And then she had handed Ben's body over for its use. It was that thought that struck her like a dagger through the heart. She'd fought so hard to get back to him and then she'd let something else separate them.

Rey could still feel the malevolent mind inside her. It had done what it promised, she was indeed alive; but at what cost? In her selfish haste to return to Ben, she'd set the _hive_ free upon the galaxy. She didn't yet know what that meant, but if the Sith had been worried about this mind, then the rest of them should be terrified by it. And between her and Ben, they had been the key to its release. She was starting to wonder if would have been better if she'd just let him give his life for her Perhaps, they wouldn't be in the position they now found themselves in.

Her eyes dropped and she felt a pang of shame at the last thought. The Force had a plan for them, and it would appear that that plan didn't involve either one of them dead. She could only hope that Ben could forgive her for the choice she'd made. And pray that he hadn't been destroyed in the process of her resurrection.

XXXX

The combined minds that had been trapped inside the dark places of Exegol coalesced into a single voice. _Havoc_, as it preferred to be called, stared out into space feeling a sense of freedom that it hadn't felt for thousands of years. It reached into the Force and pulled at the threads of darkness feeling the flickering presence of Ben Solo. His mind was unprotected at the moment, which meant it was vulnerable to attack. Rage at being forcibly ejected from its chosen body; Havoc gathered the nearly limitless power of the Force.

With a smile that was every bit as cruel as what it was about to do to the unconscious man, Havoc rolled every single emotional death at Solo's hands into a ball of pulsating, tormented energy and propelled it toward the unprotected mind. The attack wouldn't kill him, but it would certainly slow him down. And by hurting him, Havoc knew that precious time was being bought. The intricate plan that had been thousands of years in the making was about to reign down terror on the galaxy; they would bow to the _Hive_ or they would all die.

TBC…

Author's Note: _There is more to come on the Ren/Ben front. For those who will wonder, yes it really was a version of Kylo Ren that Rey was speaking to. The Hive had used that part of the darkness to gain access to her. Access they wouldn't have had otherwise. Rey never would have submitted to something like this if it hadn't been for someone she loved. But now she will have to face the consequences of that decision and Ben will be forced to deal with the reintroduction of the darkside, in the form of Kylo Ren, back into his heart and soul. And no, I am not turning him back over to the darkness (so he will be fully redeemed by the end of the story). Rey will know just how strong she is and what she can endure and that she can come out on the other end so much stronger. _

**Thanks for reading, Review if you have a moment…**


	12. Absolution

**Chapter Twelve**

_Absolution_

The outer edges of Ben's mind were raw. He'd managed to pull himself from the depths the incredible darkness that was always lurking in the corners of his mind. But he wasn't unscathed by the encounter. He could feel the anger and the resentment that had made up the foundations of Kylo Ren weaving back through him. It was almost like being put back together, and he hadn't known that it had been missing until that moment. And yet he was still changed by his experiences with Rey. Ben had all the rage, but he was able to control and funnel that powerful emotion in a way he hadn't been able to before.

His mind stretched back out into his body allowing him to feel the tingle of his limbs and the cold ground beneath him. Ben sensed the Force as it encompassed and passed through every living thing. Both life and death threaded along the limits of his senses breathing new purpose into him.

The link between him and Rey flared with new life calling him back to awareness. Ben's hands twitched and he groaned as he picked up the reins to his body. He opened himself up ad let it flow back through every cell he had. Concern and uncertainty pulsed along their bond when he reached out to grasp at the dyad connection. Fingers traced along his jawline as his eyelids fluttered and finally parted.

Leaning over him with worry lines creasing her normally smooth forehead, Rey stared into his dark eyes. The world behind her melted away as he looked up into her slightly guarded face. For Ben, Rey was more than simple beauty or strength, she was _everything_. A sliver of doubt sliced through him when she didn't say anything, didn't move or embrace him. Had he imagined the depth of their connection? Was it possible that her death had changed her into someone that didn't need him as much as he knew he needed her?

All of his insecurities came raging to the forefront of his thoughts. He willed his body to move. Ben shifted so that he could sit up, sliding his long limbs beneath him he was surprised when she moved forward and wrapped her arms about his shoulders. Radiant light electrified their connection and he couldn't stop the small smile that pulled at the edges of his lips. Slowly, he picked up his arms and let them fall around her. Ben had longed to hold her for more years than he'd even known she existed.

She let her head fall forward and rest against the space between his neck and his shoulder; nothing had ever felt so right, at least not for him.

"I'm so sorry." Her murmured apology ghosted over his sweat-damp skin.

He tightened his hold and leaned away enough that he could see her face. Tears welled in the corners of her multi-colored eyes. She didn't hesitate this time, Rey grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him into her, laying her lips against his for the first time. The Force blossomed with barely restrained power as they finally completed the connection of the dyad. For the first time in remembered history, a dyad had resulted in the synchronization of the Light and the Dark.

XXXX

Finn watched the reunion with both a rising and a sinking heart. Unlike Poe or even Maz, he _felt_ their connection crash through boundaries that had long been established in their universe. He wasn't as sensitive as Rey or Ben, but he could feel the power that surged through each of them and it made him believe they had a chance. The evil darkness that had been nearly vibrating off Ben Solo when he'd walked out on them had been reduced to a barely perceptible buzz. But it was still there, like a slow undercurrent that could ripple up into a whirlpool at a moment's notice.

Poe stepped next to him, his eyes wide and distrusting as he watched the _Jedi _and the _Sith _embrace. He'd known that there was something odd happening between them over the past year, but he hadn't expected _this_.

"What's that about?" He nudged Finn's arm and tipped his chin toward two of the most powerful people he'd ever known.

His friend sighed, "They're connected."

Raising an eyebrow, Poe side-eyed him. "I can see that."

Finn snorted. "No, not like that. The Force…it balances out between them." He wasn't sure how to explain what he was feeling along the limited edges of his sensitivity to the Force. "I can't really explain it." He admitted.

The older man pulled his lip between his teeth as he considered that. He knew enough about the ancient cosmic power that connected every living thing to know that there were definitely two sides to it. He glanced back at Rey; she'd sank away from Ben. Her hands still resting on his folded ones. They weren't talking. Poe wasn't sure they actually _needed_ to talk, whatever they had to say to one another it could obviously be communicated without words.

Finn wasn't any happier about their current situation than his friend. He'd spent so much time running from who the First Order had tried to make him into that watching _Kylo Ren_ easily step out of that life really sucked. He'd seen firsthand the pain that the other man had gone through at Rey's loss, but as far as Finn was concerned it was no worse than what the rest of them had suffered. The rise and fall of the First Order had affected each of them differently. His fists clenched as anger seeped past his emotional wall.

He didn't realize he'd started to move until Ben's eyes lifted to meet his. Finn didn't see the fiery rage he'd anticipated inside those dark depths. He saw pain, loss and a regret so profound that it froze the advancing man in his tracks. The ex-stormtrooper blinked several times and then felt the anger drain away only to be replaced by shame. He knew enough of Ben's story to understand that he'd been stolen from his family too. Only it had been worse for him, because as the only son of famous rebellion generals and the nephew of the last Jedi, Ben had been born a pawn. He'd been moved about like a chess piece between the Light and the Dark sides of the Force. _We all have._ He considered silently.

XXXX

Rey leaned away when Ben's eyes lifted a point over her shoulder. Her heart was quivering with both joy and despair. They'd given so much of themselves to defeat the rise of the Sith and they still weren't done. Part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop on them. She'd let out a darkness that the Force had locked away for thousands of years. Her gaze dropped to his and she knew that she would do it again if it meant saving him. When she'd reached out to take Kylo's hand in the spirit realm on Exegol, it had been due to desperation. She'd _needed_ to see him again, to help him conquer what was left of his doubt. And there was no way she could do that without her body.

"They don't trust me." He admitted softly. He didn't need to use the Force to know that. Ben could see it reflecting out of their eyes.

She didn't contradict him; Rey knew better than that. But she did squeeze his fingers lightly before standing to turn toward her best friend. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as he rushed forward and wrapped his arms around her. Finn's heart thudded against hers as they took a moment to just stand, taking comfort from one another.

"I thought I'd lost you." He whispered against her hair.

Rey's breathing shuddered, "You did." She felt him tremble as emotions poured through him. She hated that her death had shattered her friends like it had. Ben had been expected; but the depth of feelings she was sensing from both Finn and Poe hadn't been. It hadn't occurred to her to believe that she'd had the effect on them that they had on her. She wouldn't have handled it well if either one of them hadn't made it out the other side with her.

Within moments Poe had moved to envelop both of them in a hug of his own. For the first time in months they were able to simply breathe.

XXXX

Ben pulled himself to his feet. He watched the reunion with a heavy heart. There would be no such reunion for him. Rey was the only person alive that gave a kriff about him. Poe and Finn would only accept his presence because of her. A pang of regret so strong it stole his breath for a moment and the furious anger that had was so much a part of him reared up. A soft voice from somewhere outside of time and space whispered to him.

_Don't be that man…son._

His mother's words silenced the building jealousy in a way that nothing else could have. The shame that followed had him turning away from the trio of friends. Ben couldn't afford to get caught up in who he had been before Rey. He needed to tap into the power he'd been born with in order to help restore balance to the Force. By allowing the hive-mind to escape, they'd tipped the balance of power in favor of the darkside.

And now they had to rectify that mistake, or the galaxy could pay the price for their hubris. He stayed in the shadows as more people ran to greet the resurrected Jedi and the two men that had saved the resistance. Grinding his teeth together, Ben turned away only to find a blaster leveled at his head.

Captain Davos stood stock still, his hands shaking as he struggled not to pull the trigger. The desperate wrath that nearly oozed from the man gave him a strength that Ben wouldn't have expected. The former supreme leader didn't fight when Davos stepped forward and slammed the two cuffs into his hands.

"Put 'em on." He hissed through clenched teeth.

Knowing that they would leave him vulnerable to the hatred boiling around him didn't stop Ben from taking the silver cuffs and snapping them around his own wrists. The jolt of pain that impacted each wrist had been expected, but that didn't make it hurt any less as the drugs once again flowed through him.

"I'm not a threat. Not anymore." He defended himself without an expectation of leniency.

The captain snorted derisively, "Right."

Ben felt Rey's surprise and frustration when she turned to see what was happening. Turning toward them, she frowned before quickly closing the distance. He could sense her desire to defend him, but beneath that was also an understanding of the people's need to feel safe. He was a tangible element of their combined tragedies. And the chance that he could turn on them was too great to take.

She started to say something, he shook his head. "It's fine Rey."

"It's not. You saved us. All of us." Rey's eyes cast around her, engaging each of the resistance members with weapons pointed at Ben. "I know what he's done. I _know_." She slowly turned to meet their anxious expressions. "I lost my family too. I was a prisoner of a First Order too." Her gaze shifted to his guarded eyes and she apologized for what she was about to say before she even said it. "And I have had my mind ravaged by those who served the First Order."

Ben felt the emotional blow throughout his entire being. He knew that she was trying to keep the situation from spiraling out of control and yet that didn't mean her truthful words didn't hurt. When he'd been completely under Snoke's influence, it had been difficult for him to care about what happened to their victims. However, he'd been fully aware of what he was doing when it had been Rey and Poe beneath his probing mind. And he'd ripped through their pathetic attempts at shielding like a Bantha through metal siding.

Only her ability to shred his own shields had stopped him from taking everything he wanted from her vulnerable mind. Against his will, the Force opened his mind to those around him causing spasms of pain inside his skull and an overwhelming onslaught of emotions.

His knees buckled and Ben hit the ground hard. His hands cupping his head as he sought a way to block them out. Rey's eyes blew wide as she felt his soul cry out in anguish. It was similar to the feelings that had rippled along their connection when Leia had died.

"Back away." She growled before lowering herself to his level and placing her hands over his.

Dark eyes lifted to meet her concerned expression. "I feel _everything._" He whispered hoarsely. His body shook with the effort it was taking to simply remain conscious. "Everyone I ever hurt…"

She grabbed at the cuffs before calling the key from Davos's frozen fingers. Rey slipped the key into the lock and watched as the cuffs split apart, dropping into the dirt. The pain on Ben's face didn't recede. But he did pull in a shuddering breath. "Finn, help me." She called, desperate to get him away from the eyes of people she knew hated him.

Without hesitation Finn hurried forward and positioned himself beneath one of Ben's arms. Both he and Rey were surprised when Poe moved to take the position on the other side. She smiled briefly at both of them before standing up and starting toward the personnel pods.

Stepping out of the shadows, Rose pointed toward an open pod. "That one isn't occupied, and the bed is long enough for him to lie down comfortably."

"Thank you." Ben managed to choke past the volatile emotions battering against his mind.

Once they were inside, Rey sat on the edge of the narrow bed, her hands resting comfortably on his chest. Ben felt her stretch out with her mind searching for a way to close off the pain he was being forced to suffer. A part of him wanted it to end and another part, the part that felt mostly guilt and shame, _needed_ to feel it. He needed to understand what he'd done in order to atone for it and move forward. Only with a clear mind could he help the resistance…help Rey destroy the _hive_.

XXXX

The star destroyer dropped out of hyperspace just in time to see the small cargo vessel do the same. Admiral Tiko ordered the ship brought aboard and any crew members found on her taken to interrogation.

Pressing his pristine suit uniform against his abdomen, he moved toward the bay with a sense of purpose. _You serve us now admiral._ The voice inside his head resounded and penetrated every cell. Tiko couldn't have ignored it even had he wanted to, which he didn't.

The long shiny black hallway leading to the interrogation room was clean and orderly. Stormtroopers in white uniforms marched in perfect unison past him. Pride in their professionalism coursed through him. A set of bay doors slid apart; the hiss of the hydraulics echoed through the quiet corridor. The admiral and his personal guards stepped into the bleak room only to be greeted by a young woman.

She wore a black robe; the hood was resting over her head and she carried a lightsaber in her left hand. She was short, but there was no mistaking the power contained inside that small body. Tiko had met the supreme leader only once before Snoke had been murdered, but what he sensed coming from her eclipsed anything he'd ever felt from their former leader. She radiated power and purpose; it was nearly palpable as he stared at her silence.

"We are Darth Havocious."

The admiral sank to his knees, his arm folding across his chest in supplication. "I am Admiral Rand Tiko and my ship is at your command…Empress."

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Please excuse any grammatical errors, I will try and review this chapter to capture them, but sometimes they sneak past. Thank you for your continued support. The story is about to head back into space as Ben, Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose, Maz and Chewie set out on a quest for the only thing that lock the hive-mind of the Sith away. Stay tuned, because it's going to get out just who Rey's parents were, and more importantly, who her grandfather was. Will everyone be so willing to take her at her word when they know the full story? We shall see._

**Please review, it's nice to know people are still reading.**


	13. Premonition

**Chapter Thirteen**

_Premonition_

Ben stared quietly at the roof of the personal pod with little interest, he could hear the buzz of vices outside, but he didn't want to listen. A small beetle climbed along the metal frame with some destination in mind that he couldn't bring himself to care about. So, he watched the tiny insect and tried to ignore the slices of pain still echoing inside his head. His body felt weakened by his ordeal; the injuries he'd suffered had healed, but there was still a bone-deep exhaustion that he wished would go away.

Rey had asked him stay where he was while she tried to smooth things over with the multitude of enraged resistance fighters. He didn't have a lot of faith that she would be able to do anything, but he agreed to stay where he was for the time being. With some frustration, he felt an almost overwhelming sense of responsibility in putting her at odds with her friends. It had never been his intention to make her choose between them and him. Ben furrowed his eyebrows and pressed his lips together in agitation at their current situation. If he hadn't been so blinded by his bitterness and anger, he might have felt the overtones of the Emperor inside Snoke's mind. Instead he'd been duped by the Sith lord, just as everyone else had been.

"_I have been every voice you have ever heard inside your head." _The words played through his mind with a crystal clarity that sent a shiver through him.

Ben hadn't even considered that he might be being manipulated in order to serve someone else's agenda. But Palpatine had moved him about like a pawn; and Ben had allowed him to do it without realizing it. He blew out a breath of frustration, then ran his fingers through his long hair. _I need to visit the bathing pod soon._ He realized with disgust. He had many flaws; personal hygiene had never been one of them. There was a slight headache pressing against the inside of his skull and it wouldn't take much for it to deepen into a Force-induced migraine. He tried to calm his mind in order allow it to recede. Rey…once again his thoughts turned to her and what her resurrection would mean for them.

Down to his very bones he regretted that they hadn't had time to talk since he'd been possessed, and she had been, miraculously, returned to the living plane of existence. He wanted to speak with her, to learn what she'd been through and why she had allowed that _thing _to hitch a ride back with her.

Time alone with his thoughts wasn't a good thing, not for him. The former apprentice had made too many mistakes and his recollection of the past was still to raw. Because of that, Ben couldn't escape, not into his own mind.

He let his hand drop back onto the bed next to him. Ben wasn't under any illusions about where he fit into this epic story. He was the expendable one. Yes, he was descended from Force _royalty_, if that's one chose to look at it, but so was Rey. Of the two of them he was glad it was her that had the great destiny. He'd already proven that he couldn't be trusted with that kind of power. Recalling his grandfather's fall from grace, Ben understood that the Skywalker bloodline was incredibly flawed. Only his mother had been able to resist the seductive call of the darkside. He'd known that she had great power, possibly more even that Luke, and yet she'd never used that power during his childhood. It had been there swirling beneath every decision Leia made, but it hadn't been the impetus for those decisions.

For the millionth time he wished he'd known his mother better. The familiar bite of jealousy and bitter regret coiled in his gut. But there was something different this time, Ben could feel it and he was able to press it back into those empty spaces inside himself and ignore it.

With a sigh, he tried to focus on calming his churning mind; stretching out with his feelings, he sought the illusive presence of the hive-mind. Ben was well aware of the limitations that such an act would place on his mind. Searching the galaxy in this way was dangerous to a Force-user. _He couldn't quite refer to himself as a Jedi and he sure as kriff wasn't a Sith._ The far too recent memories of his mother's and his uncle's souls fading away as they expended too much of their life force was a painful reminder that even the Force had finite limitations. While it allowed those with access to its immense power the abilities to accomplish magnificent acts, there was also a heavy toll to be extracted from the user.

Small fluctuations in the living Force pulsated around him. He could_ see_ endless pockets of the Light and the Darkness as they flowed through every living thing. Ben avoided any area which held a familiarity to him. Massive expenditures of Force energy by past users would leave residuals that might tempt him to delve too deeply into the dark and he couldn't risk the temptation.

The sudden explosion of darkness inside the Force nearly rendered Ben unconscious, it plowed into his open unprepared mind sending bolts of agony through him. The imbalance left in the wake of that power left him reeling; Ben gagged down bile. He didn't even try to open his eyes, instead he groaned and rolled himself over onto his stomach wrapping his arms protectively around his battered skull. Desperate to stop the pain, he physically tried to shield himself from an attack that wasn't physical in nature. Dark power surrounded him, embraced and seduced him toward an edge he couldn't see…

He was drawn toward the epicenter of power like a moth to a flame…and then he fell—

_The Force roiled through the air and the ground beneath his feet shook with the unrestrained power of it. Dangerous rocky crags climbed toward a dark angry sky reminding Ben of skeletal fingers. He was surrounded by them, while he found himself standing on a large flat plain of stone and dust. Casting his eyes around, he saw narrow ledges had been carved into those ancient stone walls, probably by some race that appeared to have abandoned this place of power long ago. The bubbling sounds of a churning river caught his attention, turning Ben saw that it flowed along the length of one side making the arena all the more dangerous for anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves stuck inside its walls. _

_Ben felt the warm metal of a lightsaber in his hands. Without hesitation he thumbed the plasma blade to life. He so caught up in his surroundings that he paid little attention to the weapon instead moving slowly through the unfamiliar space. Dust crackled beneath his boots as he slowly shifted his weight. His mind was screaming at him that he wasn't alone. There was another presence in this place, but Ben wasn't able to decipher who it was. Desperately he reached for the dyad bond and his entire body froze when he felt nothing but void space. That part of his mind that had previously burned with Rey's Light was dark and cold. Fear snaked through him when he considered he might actually be alone now. Where was Rey? Where the kriff was he? He tried to gain his bearings, but the former Sith apprentice didn't know this world and he wasn't sensing any other recognizable minds around him. _

_With some surprise, Ben realized that he'd grown accustomed to the resistance fighters that were loyal to Rey. And now he couldn't feel any of them, not even that traitorous stormtrooper, Finn. Ben would've given just about anything at that moment to feel the comforting brush of Rey's mind against his. A small burst anger flickered at that thought, when had the Force ever given him anything he truly wanted? He swallowed the hollow ache that followed that thought. _

_A gusty rush of wind blew past him pulling at the long edges of his black cape and nearly knocking him to the ground. It picked at the ends of his black hair causing them to brush against the nape of his neck sending chills down his spine. Instinctively Ben gripped the lightsaber tighter. The light illuminated the area surrounding him; he spun in both directions seeking the source of the disturbance._

_Lightning flashed along the upper ridgeline just before hard cold rain started falling in earnest. It plastered his hair to his skull and caused his clothes to cling to his lanky body making it more difficult to move. For once he was grateful for the grueling tests Snoke had subjected him to over his years in service to the supreme leader. This wasn't the first time Ben had faced an unknown enemy, on unfamiliar terrain, with no backup. Even the conditions he now found himself in weren't all that unusual. Setting his jaw, he started to move forward. His dark eyes scanned the shadows for any hints of movement. _

"_Kylo Ren."_

_A female voice invaded his mind, halting his progress and sending a cold wash of fear through him. Ben whirled around, the lightsaber flaring with plasma energy as it sliced through the increasing rain. _

_Standing a few meters behind him was a small figure wrapped in a long black cloak. The red glow of another lightsaber battled against the blackness surrounding them. Ben would have recognized that saber anywhere. It had been Kylo Ren's. He knew the power that saber held within the broken kyber crystal. And he was painfully aware of how much hate, anger, bitterness, revenge and other negative emotions had been channeled into it's creation. It was a truly powerful weapon; and it should be lying at the bottom of the oceans of Kef Bir._

_For one panicked moment he thought he might he staring at Rey, but he couldn't make out her face. Tentatively he reached out with the tiniest thread of his mind and was flung back by the evil he felt surrounding this person. But at lease he knew it wasn't his Rey. Ben now knew that he didn't know this 'person'. He looked more closely, she was short, but the power emanating off her was on par with what he'd felt from Emperor Palpatine. _

_With a jolt he realized what he was looking at, this was the hive-mind and the body it had claimed after being expelled from his. "That's not my name."_

_She shifted her weight but said nothing. The rain seemed to fall 'around' her as her cloak billowed effortlessly in the raging winds of the storm. His body matched her movements without any conscious thought from him. So many years of training had made him able to fight and think at the same time. _

_Slowly, she lifted her saber; chattering red light illuminated her face and he was surprised to see she was young, very young. He didn't allow that to sway his defensive stance; he'd been fooled by age before and Ben knew better than to allow that face to influence how he perceived her strength. _

_With a pang of guilt, he recalled the many times his uncle had spoken of his Master. Ben had never met Yoda, but he remembered the numerous stories of the small alien being. A Jedi that had commanded more Force power than any Jedi before or since his time. His uncle Luke had once told him that Ben's vast power was the closest thing he'd ever felt to Yoda's._

'_And I used that gift to destroy everyone I ever loved.' He thought miserably._

"_You are truly alone Kylo Ren." She taunted, moving in a slow deliberate circle around his stationary position. _

_He felt that old familiar anger rise up inside him, and yet Ben didn't grab ahold of it. He closed his eyes for a moment seeking his center and in that brief moment of silence he felt the dyad bond flare. He didn't know how he'd lost it or why it had returned. But he did know that it meant that Rey wasn't lost to him. He could feel her strong emotions radiating along that bond, and what he felt was, fear for him. She was looking for him, trying to get to him…trying to save him. _

"_BEN!" Rey's frantic scream broke the silence between the two opponents. _

_His eyes flashed up; Rey was standing on the edge of the upper rim. Her own lightsaber glowing blue against the coming storm, and she wasn't alone. Next to her stood Finn, Poe, Rose, Chewie, Maz and others that he didn't recognize. For the first time in a long time, Ben felt the warmth radiating from the Light side of the Force. There was an undertone of coming pain that confused him, so he ignored that for now. Whatever was happening to them now was outside of his ability to control, all he could do was fight. _

'_Open up, Ben. Allow the Force to guide your actions.' His mother's words rang through his mind with a resounding finality that surprised him. He glanced down for the first time and realized that the lightsaber he held wasn't either his uncle Luke's or his mothers. It glowed with a crackling purple light. But there was a balance to this blade that his previous weapon had never achieved. It wasn't a weapon that he recognized, but he knew that with this kyber crystal he could defeat the monster staring at him. 'You must find this crystal. It is the only thing that can save you…and her.' His mother's words faded away and his heart ached at their loss. _

_A sinister laugh echoed across the distance separating them. "Even with that blade, you don't have the power to defeat us. We are the primordial power of the darkside. 'She' will join us. You know this to be true. You have known it from the moment you felt her fledgling mind touch your tortured blackened one. We will claim her as our own. It is her destiny. She is OURS." The figure shifted again, flashing an evil grin at him as the hood was flung back revealing the darkness within. "You are weak. You were never worthy of the dyad bond and you've proven it over and over again with your inability to control your emotions. Your pathetic life has led you to this moment. You will forever be alone. She will be the cause of your death. You will forever remain alone, hated, abandoned, and despised…Kylo Ren—" Venom nearly dripped from the cruel words; and every one of them hit their intended mark, his heart. _

_He could feel his spirit darkening as the anger welled within him, seeking both a release and a victim. The purple blade flared with power as it fed off his emotions, gaining strength from his uncontrolled feelings._

"_That is NOT my NAME!" he cried out with such vehemence that the ground shook beneath their feet. Without considering the cost, Ben cast his mind outward, seeking more power. He craved it like he craved oxygen. He needed it. The darkness flooded into him drowning out the light and burying him inside his own rage._

"_BEN! Don't let it tempt you! You're stronger than it is." Rey started to slide down the steep jagged walls, her lightsaber flinging around in a pattern only she could see as she cut the sharp pieces out of her way. Fear drove her forward, past the point where she might have slowed her reckless pace. "Please." She whispered as her feet hit the solid cold stone. Wiping at the rain that kept blurring her vision she started toward the two figures._

_The winds began whipping around them in earnest, tearing away Rey's words of caution. She tried to send her love and support along their connection, but her emotions hit a wall she couldn't penetrate, and the line was growing weaker with every passing moment. And the wall wasn't coming from Ben. Her eyes snapped to the small cloaked figure. The presence they were fighting was slowly severing their connection. That realization terrified her. She'd couldn't lose him, not now. They'd already lost too much._

_He didn't realize he'd been so distracted until he felt the Hive drive daggers of pain into his skull. Ben threw his mental shields up, his fingers trembling against the cold metal of his saber. Weakness raged within him as his knees nearly buckled with the effort it was taking to simply remain upright. _

_He felt more than heard Rey's scream of warning just as the bright red of Kylo Ren's blade pierced his chest. Shock and pain warred within him for understanding. This time his knees did buckle, and he slid downward pulling the blade further up his body. He blinked several times, staring up into the stoic face of the girl that just killed him. Unlike the last time he'd been stabbed, she wouldn't be expending her own energy to save him._

_A blur of blue light came out of nowhere and suddenly the blade was cruelly yanked from his body allowing him to sag all the way to the ground. Red and blue clashed with such ferocity that sparks flew outward from the plasma blades. Rey's face was a mask of grief and rage while the hives was nothing but purpose. They whirled and struck at one another with violent intent. The world began to fade away as Ben's life force slowly ebbed back into the galaxy._

'_Not your time it is, young Solo. Fight you must or lose Rey we shall.' A small green bi-ped glowed before him. The long-pointed ears and tufts of white hair told of an age that was far beyond what humans could hope to achieve. The tan robes and sheer power fluctuating behind the small being left no doubt as to who it was._

'_Master Yoda.' He whispered hoarsely._

_The alien chuckled, 'Yes, Yoda I am.' Leaning heavily on a small cane, Yoda stepped closer to him. 'And die you must not.'_

'_I don't think I have a say in the matter.' Ben responded as a cough racked his body. The distant whine of the lightsabers pulled his eyes in Rey's direction before they returned to Master Yoda._

'_Ah, but you do. Fight the hive by yourself you cannot. Find the Crystal Heart you must. Only then can you face the darkness.' He leaned closer to Ben. 'One half of a dyad is not enough. Only together, as one can you defeat it. Learn to trust you must or into darkness the galaxy shall be thrust.'_

"Ben?" Rey's soft voice and gentle fingers ghosted over his hands. They were clasping desperately at his ears. His face was drawn up in an expression of pure agony. "Ben please. Wake up." She begged quietly. Her own fear of being left alone rippled through her as she rubbed small circles on the tops of his hands. Her heart clenching painfully at the pain she could see so clearly through his contorted face.

TBC…

**Author's Note**_**:**__ I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter. And again, thank you to all who continue to read and review, I appreciate it._

**If you have a moment, could you spare a review?**


	14. United

**Chapter Fourteen**

_United_

Ben groaned as he slowly released the death grip he'd had on his head, his eyelids fluttering as he returned to the here and now. He could feel the others around him, he wasn't alone. But theirs weren't the presence he craved, it was the woman that had haunted his dreams and waking nightmares.

Rey continued to rub gentle circles against his cold stiff hands. The anxiety tainting their bond was almost tangible and it was colored by a deep pain that had the potential to cleave his spirit the same way his father's death had. She focused on her positive emotions, carefully locking away any doubts she may still have about their chances at a happy ending.

Incrementally, Ben's body relaxed, leaning into hers as his face soon lost the tight panicked expression she'd walked in on. She didn't know what had happened to put that look on his normally stoic face and she hoped that he trusted her enough to tell her, at some point.

Finn's voice resounded through the camp, and she pressed her lips together in frustration. It only took her a moment to realize that he wasn't looking for her, which was good since she didn't feel like talking to anyone but that man below her. They had so much to discuss, not the least of which was what had happened to put him in this catatonic-like state.

And of course, whether or not they had a future together. But for this one moment in time she clamped down on all her fears and just allowed her emotions to guide her.

With a single thought Rey clicked the lock on the personal pod's door. She didn't want to be interrupted and these seemed to be the only moments that she was going to get with Ben, alone.

Pulling a deep breath, she steadied her own fears of rejection and went with her feelings. "Be with me." It was almost a whispered plea. Swallowing her rising nerves, Rey leaned over brushing her lips across his. She was pleasantly surprised to find that they were pliant, warm and to her delight, very responsive.

Even partially aware, Ben kissed her back as though his life depended on it. He reached out with his emotions without realizing he was doing it causing her body to tingle from the intimate touch of both his body and his mind. She was surprised by warm heat spreading through her entire body.

Ben's eyes shot open. Wide-eyed he stared at her with a combination of shock and confusion. The sudden overwhelming fear that she would regret her intimate act invaded his mind and shadowed his joy at seeing her alive. But only for a moment before he shut down the part of his brain that would've had him pulling away from her to protect himself.

With a twitch of his eye Ben shifted his prone position so that he was only partially lying down. Long fingers ghosted over and around the nape of her slender neck sending shivers all the way to her toes. She wanted this connection and she wanted it with _him_. Slowly, he kneaded the soft skin at the base of her skull; his eyes pinning her with so much _need_ that Rey was left awestruck. How had she'd never realized he had this enormous depth of emotion inside him? She should have paid more attention when Master Luke spoke about the differences between the Sith and the Jedi.

The Jedi suppressed all emotions believing that they led to the darkside while the Sith encourage those same emotional displays; especially anger, jealousy, revenge…but also those baser emotions that Jedi would deny even existed. The existence of Luke and Leia was a pretty good indicator that Jedi weren't immune to love or lust. Perhaps because she hadn't grown up being trained by the Masters of the Jedi religion, she had developed the ability to work through those strong emotions in a way that allowed her to connect with both sides of the Force.

The world was not black or white for her, it was so many varying shades of gray. She stared into the face of the man that the Force had given to _her_ and her alone and Rey felt nothing but peace.

His dark brown eyes regarded her with a hopeful expression as he gently pulled her face back toward his waiting mouth.

There was a hesitancy, an innocence to his kiss that surprised Rey. She'd assumed that Ben would be as confident about _this_ as he appeared to be with everything else. But that wasn't what she sensed from him; Ben was scared. In fact, he was terrified that she would be disgusted by his need for her and then he'd be left to pick up the shattered pieces of himself.

After everything they'd been through, it concerned her that he believed she would abandon him so easily. Hadn't she fought to come back from death itself?

His other arm drifted up her leg, sliding over her hip and up to her ribs before carefully pulling her down against his larger frame. Rey allowed herself to sink into his waiting embrace; taking what he was freely offering her. She had every intention of returning that offer with one of her own. Staring directly into his guarded brown eyes, she leaned forward and claimed his mouth more earnestly. His fingers spasmed then splayed along her lower back when she shifted so she was lying next to him on the narrow bed.

The smile she felt against her lips caught her off guard and she pulled away, worried that she'd done something wrong. Was he laughing at her? What she saw when she stared into his eyes was nothing but good-natured humor. Rey couldn't help herself, she grinned back and pecked him on the nose nearly laughing when his eyes crossed as he tried to follow her movements.

"It's a bit small for two of us." He admitted just before he rolled again. She found her body lying stretched out atop his with his arms wrapping about her waist. He knitted his fingers behind her lower back. The strength and sheer size of his larger pressing body against hers was exhilarating.

Rey had never been much for jokes, but she found herself wanting to tease him. She folded her arms over his chest before leaning back so she could see him better. "Well, if one of us wasn't the size of a Wookiee—"

Ben's dark eyebrows furrowed at her jibe. "Did you just call me a Wookiee?" Playfully, he tightened his grip for a moment before releasing it.

"I believe I did." Laughter bubbled up inside her. She laid her head down on his chest and stared up at him from the odd angle. Her expression quickly turning serious, "What happened? Just before I walked in, it was like you'd been electrocuted?"

His eyes clouded and his mind closed to her; Ben shook his head. "Not now." He didn't want to get into this with her.

Rey frowned, she started to insist but his pleading look silenced her. "Later?" Part of her was desperate to know what he'd gone through and the other part knew how bad he'd had it for so long. She didn't want to be part of that.

Ben nodded an agreement. "Later." He captured her gaze and held it when he made her that promise. The green around Rey's hazel eyes shone with emotion and she smiled sweetly.

"Okay."

The mood shifted again, and Ben pulled Rey back into a heated kiss that soon became something neither one of them was willing nor able to stop.

XXXX

Finn stared at Poe with a hesitant expression. "I'm not sure how long he'll be safe here."

Grabbing the tankard of ale he'd been about to down, Poe nodded in agreement. Ben Solo was still Kylo Ren to everyone on this base outside of Rey's most loyal friends. And none of those people wanted to see him set free on the galaxy again. In fact, a lot of them wanted him to stand trial for his part in the First Order's genocidal acts. Fear was a strong motivator and the battles were still too fresh in many of their minds to forget so easily. Rey had explained, in great detail, Ben's help on Exegol and yet it hadn't alleviated their fears; if anything, it had strengthened it. If he could withstand the dark power of Emperor Palpatine what exactly was he capable of?

His friend watched him, waiting for an answer to his statement. "Honestly?" Poe started and then stopped when he looked at Finn's reaction.

The younger man's shoulders twitched upwards, a clear indication that he did, in fact, want Poe's honest opinion. "Not very long." He finished.

Inhaling deeply, Finn nodded. "Yeah, that's what I think too." His eyes flashed to the window and he pods that lay beyond. "I'm pretty sure Rey senses it, but she doesn't want to believe it. Part of her thought that his father's name would be enough to convince them."

Poe snorted into his ale, "That might've worked if he hadn't _killed_ his father." The moment it was out he regretted it. His friend's dark eyes clouded with barely concealed emotions and he turned to stare down into his untouched drink. If he could've slapped himself, he would have. Poe leaned forward, laying his hand on Finn's arm. "I'm sorry buddy. I'm not very good at holding my tongue."

"I've noticed." Finn responded lightly. "But you're not wrong." It pained him to admit it, but Rey might not get to keep Ben _and_ the resistance family she'd become a part of. Maybe if Leia had still been alive…_do not go down that road._

The whirling buzz from an overhead fan that needed to be adjusted filled up the silence that followed his comment. Poe emptied the rest of his ale and waved at the bartender for a refill. "So, on a happier note, Rose seems good with Jannah."

It was Finn's turn to blush and bury his face inside his tankard. It wasn't that both women weren't great, they were; but they weren't Rey and that's where he'd settled his heart for the time being. Even knowing that he didn't stand a chance with Ben Solo also vying for her affections, he couldn't just turn off those emotions. In time he hoped it would become something more like the comfortable friendship he shared with Poe. _Yeah right, you never wanted to take Poe home for night._ Gulping, he set down the remaining alcohol and pushed it away. He didn't want to think about this, not right now; maybe not ever.

"Uh yeah, they get along." He rambled out before standing up. Finn grabbed up his jacket and started to pull it over his shoulders when—

Poe laughed out loud, slapping his hand against the table. "I'm just busting on you Finn. I know where your loyalties are." He grabbed the other tankard and tossed back the remaining ale. And then finished with, "Pretty sure your type requires a lightsaber." He ran past his stunned friend and out the door before Finn could hit him with the ceramic glass. It shattered against the doorframe earning a peeved look from the man behind the bar. "Sorry." He managed before he too bolted from the tavern.

XXXX

Rey settled back against his warm body, stretching out lazily, her gaze both sleepy and satisfied. Folding her arms across his chest Rey stared down into his unguarded face. She watched for several moments before her expression shifted, her eyebrows pulling together with unfamiliar sadness.

"I'm so sorry." She murmured softly, her breath tickling a bit. But her apology sent more than just shivers of intimate anticipation racing through him.

Ben's fingers, which had been twirling lazy circles along the smooth skin of her lower back, froze at her apology. "For what?" he asked, genuinely puzzled by her shift in mood. A small part of him was hoping that she wasn't apologizing for her actions over the past hour; because he sure as hell wasn't. He'd never had this, not with anyone and he didn't want a rejection right now, not from her; never from her.

"For giving you this." Rey's finger caressed the fading scar that ran from Ben's forehead down his right cheek and along his neck toward his chest. Her featherlight touch leaving a trail of tingling fire in its wake as she followed the path of the injury.

She shifted her weight again, staring at him with smoldering heat complete with such sorrow behind her hazel eyes that it hurt to look at. The sheet he'd thrown over them wrapped around her legs as she leaned closer to kiss the puckered and scarred flesh above his collarbone. His eyelids falling shut Ben allowed himself to simply _feel_ this extraordinary moment between them. It was so different from the first time she'd scorched his flesh. Her touch was like torture, but there was no pain, and he would submit to this type of torture any day.

"I deserved it." He'd felt that way for a while, but Ben hadn't had anyone to talk to about his actions at Starkiller base. On that day he'd been every bit the monster she'd accused him of being, maybe more.

Rey shook her head, "I'm not sure you did."

He sighed, "Rey, I wouldn't have stopped until I'd cleaved your head from your shoulders. I was so angry and when I…" his words drifted off and she knew he was thinking about Han. "…I thought it would set me free. Instead I lost what little balance I had. If I ever had any at all." He moved so she slid down onto the bed next to him before he sat up. Ben was very careful to ensure the sheet remained wrapped around her naked body, giving all the modesty her could. He wasn't concerned with his own nakedness as the emotions assaulted him with clear memories of that day. Ben leaned forward and carded both his hands through his damp hair. "I would have killed you. And I wouldn't have cared." His breathing hitched with the admission and that caused her to sit up and wrap her arms around him from behind.

"You weren't you." The conviction in her words were humbling, but he knew the truth.

"Rey, Kylo Ren is part of who I am. He's the darkness to Ben's light. And yet without him, I wouldn't be who I am. I can't forget what he did, and I can't ever fully atone for it." He pulled in a shuddering breath. "I will never be fully free of him."

Rey rested her head on his back and just held him as Ben allowed the genuine sorrow and regret to flood in, his shoulders shaking with the silent emotions. He didn't push her away or try to hide his grief or pain. It was the first time that he had allowed anyone to witness his heart break in such an open and honest way.

Neither of them knew how long they sat like that, but eventually the tears slowed and then dried altogether. Rey untangled her legs and moved around him, sinking onto the floor between his knees. She wrapped the sheet around them both and laid her head on his knee, her arms snaking around his lower leg in a strange semblance of a hug. He couldn't help the twitch of affection that touched the corners of his lips as he watched her. She was all the things he wasn't. Kind. Beautiful. Loyal. Friendly. Strong. He could go on about her virtues but frankly there were too many to name. He stared at her and the strength of his emotions were frightening.

"What I would do for you scares me." He hadn't meant to admit it to her out loud.

She glanced up at him. "What I would do for _you_ scares me too." He toyed with a strand of her hair as he stared down at her honest expression.

Rey looked so small compared to him. Yet inside that small body was the heart of a Jedi warrior. Laying his hand against her head, he combed his fingers through her dark hair. It was longer than he would have thought. Although, he'd only ever seen it down once in all the time they'd known one another. "Where did your signature hair do come from?" Changing the subject to a less emotional one.

He felt her smile against his thigh. "My mom. I barely remember her face. But I remember her working for hours to get my hair to do that. I didn't have a lot of hair when I was little, so she slicked the sides back with a wax mixture she made herself."

Ben could feel the warmth of her memory slipping along the edges of their dyad bond. Any time Rey thought of her parents now it was tinged with love instead of merely loss. He didn't understand when or why that had changed for her, but it had, and he was grateful. For so long she'd felt abandoned by the people that were supposed to love her. For once he was glad that he'd chosen to tell her the truth; that they had given their lives to save her for Palpatine. Pain echoed inside his chest when realized that his parents had done the same thing to try and save him.

She must have felt his shift in thought because she pulled back and stared up at him, a questioning expression on her face.

He blinked a few times to stop the sting of more tears. _I am going to be so dehydrated by the time this day is over. _"I was just thinking about my parents." He answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

Rey wanted to do something to take that _look_ off his face, "Are you telling me your mother pulled your hair back into ponytails with wax too?" Reaching up, she grabbed a lock of his black hair and tugged on it playfully.

His eyes widened and Ben's mouth opened and closed several times while he searched for an appropriate response. He looked a bit like a wide-mouthed fish. She giggled at his speechlessness.

When no response came to mind, he leaned down and easily picked her up, settling her on his lap before claiming her saucy lips with his own.

XXXX

"Something has happened." The Empress stated to no one in particular. The Force had erupted with such a burst of power that had rippled through both the Light and the Darkside alike.

Admiral Tiko wisely remained silent where he knelt before her throne. His gaze flitted about the chamber room of the mega class star destroyer, Legacy. He hadn't even realized there were any others in existence beyond the Supremacy, which had been destroyed by the Holdo Maneuver. Even within the First Order they'd heard of the act that the resistance had taken. It had been a 'desperate' play for their continued survival, and it had saved what was left of their dwindling forces.

The Empress leaned back in her chair, her fingers steepled beneath her chin as she scanned the Force for the source of the disturbance. The red guards surrounding her chamber were as still as statues and just as imposing with their activated red blades and lack of movement. These weren't the same guards as what Snoke had employed, obviously they weren't able to protect their supreme leader, so the Empress had sought out her own guards. Their minds had been wiped of all thoughts beyond service to her and in the place of those absent minds were remnants of past Sith lords. Not their whole minds, since then she'd have to watch them for signs of individual wants and scheming actions. But enough that they were able to access the darkside with just the right amount of power to ensure they were nearly indestructible and could anticipate their opponents.

She had liked the idea of the Knights of Ren, but not their individual personalities. Pulling her feelings back, she opened her eyes and stared down at the silent Admiral. He'd been loyal before she'd come into power, so she hadn't felt the need to take his mind down to the basics and build him back up into the servant she desired. She'd been trapped for so long on the other side, that she _needed _someone to help her navigate this version of the galaxy.

"We need to locate the recently resurrected Jedi and her traitorous _Sith_." She spat the word out like it was poison to her. She had felt the Light inside his mind and soul when she'd been inside his body and it had been like having a white-hot poker rammed through her eye and her fingernails peeled back. And yet she knew that she wanted him back, not for any other reason than to show him what true torture was. And to watch as her new _apprentice_, the former Jedi, shattered his spirit and extinguished that Light in the worst ways possible.

"Empress, we do not have the location of the resistance's current base." He swallowed, expecting her to lash out at him the way Kylo Ren used to.

She turned red-yellow eyes in his direction, "We don't need to know that. We know where they are going."

"We do?"

She smiled and it was so preternaturally evil that he shivered internally. "They are going back to where it all began." Tiko was glad he was on her side because he wouldn't want her as an enemy.

He didn't know what she'd meant or where they would be going, but he wasn't going to ask for further clarification. She would set their destination and he would serve; that was the nature of their roles and he would not deviate from that.

XXXX

The couple was reminded that they weren't alone when someone collided with a door, they'd assumed would be open. "Ow." Finn groaned with genuine irritation. He knocked and then seemed to realize that he shouldn't have to knock on a prisoner's door.

"Ben, open up. You're not supposed to lock the door." He realized how silly that sounded after it was out and groaned.

Rey jumped off of Ben like she'd been hit with a Bantha prod. Within seconds she was fully clothed, and he was staring in shocked amazement at her transformation. He was still sitting with the edges of the sheet barely covering his ankles let alone anything else.

She raced around the room gathering up his black clothing and tossing them at him. "You need to get dressed." She whispered desperately.

For a moment Ben wondered if she was ashamed of what they'd shared? Rey must have sensed his line of thinking because she hurried back and captured his lips in a kiss that was a strange mixture of sweet and lusty at the same time. "Now." She finished as she pulled away from his startled expression.

Another louder knock resounded through the room. "Ben? You alive in there?"

He heard the slightly worried shift to Finn's question, and he had to remind himself to close his mouth when it fell open in shock. Rey nearly broke out laughing when she saw his face.

He scrambled into his clothes and shot her an irritated scowl. They both knew there was no heat to it though and he quickly realized he was actually impressed by the former stormtrooper's ability to put other's needs before his own anger. Maybe Ben should spend more time with Finn. He was pretty sure that wouldn't go over well with any of them, least of all Finn.

_Or his buddy Poe might shoot me in the back first._

Rey pointed at the bed and he frowned until he realized what she was getting at. He repositioned himself on the bed and she grabbed the sheet, pulling it up over him like he'd been sleeping the whole time. He smiled at the firsthand knowledge that there had, absolutely, been _no sleeping _inside this pod over the past couple hours.

Finn banged again, this time with the end of his blaster. Rey settled into the chair across the personnel pod from Ben's position and feigned sleep. A digital lock snapped open and Finn rushed inside followed by a worried Rose and BB-8. Both Ben and Rey slowly opened their eyes when the two _saviors_ stumbled to a halt. It was obvious there was nothing weird happening inside this pod, but they were both stumped as to how the door got locked.

"You okay?" Finn asked Rey, though his eyes did linger on Ben for a moment.

BB-8 twilled his concerns in a series of rapid beeps.

She stretched, "Yeah, sorry. I guess I fell asleep."

Rose chuckled. "Well, you did just come back from the dead. I suppose you're entitled."

Ben stayed quiet as he watched the banter between friends. A pang of jealousy flared up and he was quick to try and bury it before Rey sensed it through their bond. Her eyes flickered in his direction, but quickly returned to Finn.

"So, what's up?" she asked, leaning over to readjust her boot.

"We need to know what the next move is?" Finn said evenly. He didn't really look at Ben, his eyes remained trained on his friend.

This time it wasn't Rey that responded, it was Ben. "We need to find something called a Crystal Heart."

"I'm sorry, the what now?" Poe asked as he sauntered through the open door. His eyes sweeping the gathered group to see if he'd missed anything important.

"A crystal heart. It's a rare type of kyber crystal." Ben repeated.

It was Finn's turn to look confused. "And what's a _kyber crystal._"

Ben's eyebrows rose in consternation at his lack of knowledge. "Didn't they teach you stormtroopers anything?"

The younger man's cheek twitched in irritation. "Sure. They taught us how to shoot, kill and die. But you knew that since it was you that ordered us to shoot, kill and die; most of the time."

Remorse flickered in the depths of Ben's dark eyes. He quickly buried the unwanted emotion.

Rey stood up and walked to where Finn was standing, his hands fisting as he fought down the urge to punch the arrogant former _supreme leader _in the face. She placed a soothing hand on his forearm and the anger seemed to drain out of his eyes as he looked at her.

With surprise Ben realized that Finn was in love with Rey. Not the brother sister kind of love, but the kind that…_results in locked personal pod activities._ He wasn't sure how he felt about that. She wanted to be with Ben, of that much he was sure, but knowing that another man _loved_ her like that sent pulses of jealousy racing through him. He quickly hid his eyes so Rey wouldn't see his weakness.

Poe drew in a deep breath. "A crystal heart doesn't come out of the normal mines where kyber crystals are found. They form deep inside the core of a planet and are nearly impossible to extract." His brown eyes lifted to meet Ben's even gaze. "Why do we need one?"

His eyes shifted to Rey and then back to the three humans staring at him for an explanation. He'd wanted to talk to her about his premonition before announcing it to the resistance, obviously that wasn't going to happen. "Because that's the only thing that will create a lightsaber capable of killing the hive-mind."

"And how would you know that little bit of 'incredibly _valuable'_ information?" Finn shot back. It was obvious he didn't quite believe Ben. Apparently, he and the former stormtrooper had a long way to go in the 'trust' department.

Rey stepped toward him as a version of the truth formed inside his mind. He didn't try to hide it from her, but he was very selective about how much and _what_ he actively focused on. "He saw it. The ability of that blade to strike her down." She said without hesitation.

Rose breathed out and then tilted her head to the side. "So, you can kill them? Send those Sith-bastards back to wherever they came from?"

"I can." He answered quietly before looking over at Rey with a determination he hoped she believed; because he knew what the sacrifice would be on the other end of this journey…and she didn't. "We can." He finished with a resolve he hadn't thought he still possessed.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _I have a plan for the story and that's why this chapter was crucial at this juncture. I tried to keep it PG-13 at the most, but I did want to show their level of commitment before we go winding down this treacherous journey I have planned. I hope you enjoyed it. And don't worry, I will give them the happy ending they deserve…eventually._

**Please take a moment and review…it is much appreciated.**


	15. Open Doors Inside the Mind

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Open Doors Inside the Mind_

Rey watched the tall dark man from the corner of her eye; she was more worried about Ben than she was willing to admit, even to herself. He wasn't telling her something, but she didn't want to press him until he was ready. Ben had chosen to stand slightly back and away from the other people crowded inside the small cockpit of the Falcon. Chewbacca had claimed the seat next to her, as was his right; his furry fingers flying over the lit-up control panels. He had set their flight plan before glancing at Rey for a nod of approval. She smiled, it was enough for him and the old ship rumbled to life. The thrusters gathering the fuel they would need to proper this wayward bunch of fighters out into the galaxy.

Her mind wandered back to their exploits earlier in the day and she couldn't stop the tiny smile of satisfaction. For the first time in her life she had taken something she wanted and been rewarded for it. The bond between her and Leia's son was stronger than ever. She could feel it pulsating in the back of her mind, reminding her of his presence. It was comforting.

Poe and Finn were speaking softly, something about where they would need to stop for fuel and which space ports would be safe for them. The presence of the Final Order or the First Order, whatever a person chose to call them, was still out there. Add to that the Sith hive-mind and that spelled trouble for her and the friends that had joined her quest.

Destroying Palpatine had been difficult; the most difficult thing she'd ever done in fact. But she was confident that between her skills and Ben's they could handle whatever was thrown at them. Having Finn there was also a greater comfort than she would have thought. He was her best friend and he understood what they were up against in a way that no one but Ben could. It made him an invaluable addition to their team.

During the short time she'd spent _together_ with Ben, Rey had gotten a clear sense of how much power was at his disposal. She could understand why Snoke had pursued him. Rey was powerful, very powerful in fact, but Ben accessed both sides of the Force in equal measures making him unique. He could have learned to call the lightning from the darkside same as her, but that had been one skill that he'd never wanted. Knowing that that was what had ultimately killed his grandfather had been enough of a deterrent to stay away from it. It had been the only path to power that he'd knowingly given up.

She recalled the way his Force energies had surged within him when she kissed him. It had been both wonderful and humbling. Ben was not a person that gave over control easily. He felt he'd been controlled by those around him since he'd been born, and he hated it. Rey held a power over him that no one in the universe could claim, he loved her. She'd felt his turbulent emotions; they were all encompassing, and she was the focus of those vibrant, volatile feelings. Her own affection for him was every bit as deep and just as confusing.

Carefully, she reached out with her mind, brushing up against his in a soft caress. His internal state was a mass of chaotic twisting emotions that seemed to represent Ben's ever-changing mind. But layered through the chaos was his insistent need for her. She couldn't fix what had happened to him in the past, but she could ensure that her affection was never a question he had to answer. She pushed a small bit of her pleasure at his presence along the link and then glanced back to see his reaction.

Ben's dark eyes snapped up, colliding with her shy smile. His expression softened and he gave her a nod, accepting her small gesture along connection. It wasn't anything that the others would have picked up on, but she knew what it meant. Those moments before she'd passed her lightsaber to him through the Force had been incredibly intimate; it had given them a way to communicate without the necessity of words. Rey turned back toward the console, her concentration shifting to the upcoming problems they were likely to face.

"We can try Mimban. The First Order's presence was limited there." Poe commented as he poured over the navigation charts.

"Batuu would be better. It's on the way to the unknown regions." Ben's voice broke through the silence like a plasma blade.

Poe snorted, "It would if we were headed back to Exegol. But since we actually need to get to the Ring of Kafrene, we don't need to venture that far out." He turned his attention back to the maps, "What about Utapau?"

Finn's head snapped up at that. "That might work. There's a small port just outside the main city. No one wants to go there, including the First Order. It's dirty and people would rather slit your throat than talk to you."

"That'll work." Poe agreed readily.

Ben didn't say anything else. He simply inclined his head in acknowledgement of their plan. Rey sensed that he was uneasy with their decision, but he wasn't going to counter it. She didn't understand why, and this wasn't the time to ask.

XXXX

The Falcon stretched into hyperspace and they were well on their way. The familiar interactions between Rey and the other members of her resistance family were awkward for him. Ben slipped silently from the cockpit searching out a quiet place to sit and wait. He didn't want to be in the way and yet it was taking every ounce of self-control he had not to take control of his father's ship. In his heart, he had always been a pilot and sitting back to allow other people to determine his course was extremely difficult.

Ben wanted to be where Rey was but there were so many reasons why he should stay away from the group as a whole. Instead he wandered through the ship that had been his father's pride and joy with a heavy heart. He allowed his long fingers to run over the smooth metal panels as he past. He could almost hear his father's voice yelling at him to keep out of the gunner's pod. Or to 'stop touching the control docks', _they work just fine._

An intense pang of sadness sliced through him as memory after memory slipped past his defenses. He'd robbed himself of years with his parents. The choices that he'd made had left him the last of both bloodlines, the Skywalkers and the Solos. Disembodied voices resounded through the corridors of the Falcon; Ben slipped into a small personal space.

He recognized Rose's voice; she was talking to someone that had yet to respond. As soon as she did, he realized that he didn't know this person. Glad that he'd avoided any interaction with the two women, he stood in the darkness of the pod listening to their conversation.

"Can they control each other's minds?" The unknown voice asked worriedly. "The Jedi and Sith?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think so." Rose must have been further away because her answer was slightly muffled. Not enough that he couldn't make it out, but not as clear as the other voice.

"He could be influencing her."

He blinked in surprise at her comment. Was that the only way that her friends believed she'd be with him was if he was _forcing_ her to through mind control? While he'd known he had a terrible reputation throughout the galaxy, he'd never considered that. His insides twisted at the thought. Relationships had been against Snoke's commands for him. Whether they were the type that resulted in friends or something more intimate. Obviously, the rest of the galaxy wouldn't know that tiny bit of insider information.

There was a pause and then an uncertain Rose added. "Rey's smarter than that."

Ben leaned against the small bed, careful to keep his feet from making any noise as he shifted. He didn't want them to know he'd overheard their conversation. Kriff, he didn't want to overhear _this _conversation.

The unknown woman wasn't giving up her position on the subject. "I just don't get it. He's evil. Ren brutally killed in the name of the First Order and it's like she'd just forgiving him for all that death. Whatever spell he's got her under…it's just…messed up. And it's gross."

With difficulty he crammed the anger rising inside him back into the dark chasms of his soul. Ben could feel it churning like a cyclone seeking a release.

"He saved her life. According to Rey, he saved her life a few times." Rose didn't sound as confident as he would've expected. But at least she was aware he wasn't the same man that had callously murdered thousands of innocents.

"Her _lifedebt _is probably going to get us killed." The same could not be said for her friend.

Ben sank down onto the narrow bed. He wanted to disagree with what the unknown woman had just said, but he couldn't. There was death at the end of this journey, but it wouldn't be Rey. And he'd do everything he could to make sure it wasn't ant of her friends either. He wondered about their other comments. Ben didn't want to believe that Rey might regret anything they'd shared, especially when came to him. Was he putting her in a position where she would? At the end of this journey would she resent him?

"_You'll be the end of her. You know that." _

The uninvited voice inside his head resounded like a sonic canon through his skull. Clenching his teeth, he focused on trying to retain control his mind; keep his violent emotions under strict control. _Who are you? _He asked through the pain.

"_We've met. You have something that belongs to me."_

He inhaled, surprised by the shallow quality of his own breaths. _The hive. _He answered without hesitation.

_A chuckle battered against his shields. "That's a very simple definition of what we are."_

Ben felt the slithering tendrils of the other minds as they moved over his shields looking for any weaknesses. It was sucking at his energies like a leach, leaving him with a feeling of inferior strength. With every passing second, they were in contact; the presence grew stronger and his defenses grew weaker.

"_Did you believe that we abandoned that 'particular' vessel without any ability to control it?"_

Ben was ashamed to admit that 'yes' that was exactly what he'd thought. _What do you want?_

"_Right now? Nothing, you 'are' nothing we want. Later? We will take EVERYTHING."_

And with that last comment the presence receded, and his shields flexed violently before shattering apart entirely. Ben blinked when the pain hit. The mental barriers he'd been trained to hold since before he could talk snapped back and rebounded in on his mind. His muscles seized and sent him stumbling backwards into the metal shelf on the wall. Ben's head cracked against the small shelf he hadn't realized was there until that very moment. Pain rocketed through him and the warm rush of blood along the back of his right ear and down his neck surprised him.

The women had still been talking until his crashing body had alerted them that they weren't alone. The compartment door hissed and slid open revealing two irritated sets of eyes. Ben's vision blurred before he slumped down and the darkness claimed him.

Rose stared at his slumped body as realization set in. She and Jannah had said so many things that she'd never have wanted him to hear. And now it appeared as though he'd overheard everything. Her gaze flickered to Jannah's and she was gratified to see that her friend was every bit as horrified as she was. Reaching into the compartment, she shook him.

"Ben?" Soft hands started to reach out as Rose tried to check his vitals.

If she was surprised by his presence, the lightning fast arrival of Rey was shocking. She raced into the larger quarters and then slid to a stop when she saw his unconscious form. Pushing past Rose, she grabbed his face between her shaking hands. Her eyes were begging him to sit up and answer her. "Ben?"

He didn't so much as twitch.

"Please answer me." She pulled her right hand back, her eyebrows knitting together with concern at the bright red splotch she saw there. The blood was fresh and there was enough of it to concern her. Turning toward Rose and Jannah, she asked. "What happened?"

Rose shook her head, her eyes wide with the truth of her next words. "I have no idea. We were talking and then we heard something hit the side of the wall, so we opened the pod…and there he was."

Jannah handed Rey a cloth towel and sank down onto her haunches near Rose. "Is he okay?"

Rey didn't answer. Instead returning her attention to the man in front of her. Reaching out with shaking fingers she felt for a pulse. She'd been watching the passing stars when the link between them had suddenly and inexplicably gone dark sending a bolt of fear racing through her. Releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding Rey felt the steady thump of his heart. _Oh, thank the Force._

Finn hurried past the stunned Rose and Jannah, dropping to his knees at her side. "What happened?" She glanced over, his face was a mask of confusion and concern. His reaction was surprising considering his general comments where Ben was concerned. But she welcomed any support she could get from her friend.

"I have no idea." Her fingers hadn't left his neck, the steady thumping of his heart was keeping her calmer than she would have been otherwise.

He frowned, "Poe! Chewie!" When Rey looked at him, he added. "We can't move him without help."

Rey pushed him back and then stood up calling on the Force to help move their burden. She wrapped Ben's limp form in a blanket of energy and carefully pulled him from his slumped position into one that allowed his body to stretch out on the bed. Frustration coursed through her when she realized that he was too tall for the small area. Releasing the power she'd accessed, Rey reached under his knees and leaned them against the wall. It probably wasn't all that comfortable, but it was the best she could do at the moment.

"Never mind." Finn murmured under his breath. He was constantly surprised by what Rey could do. His own limited access to the Force would likely never result in that type of control. Glancing up he realized that Poe and Chewie were already standing in the narrow door, their combined expressions difficult to read as they watched the scene in front of them.

"This guy spends a lot of time unconscious." Poe's accurate assessment of Ben's awareness levels irritated the kriff out of Rey.

She wanted them to like Ben; to accept him. He was a part of her life now and if they wanted to remain with her, then they would have to understand that he came as part of that package. And yet she understood their reticence to do so. A lot had happened to them since the rise of the First Order and Ben was the face of many of those tragedies. _No, not Ben. Kylo Ren. _She corrected her previous thought. Her eyes dropped to his slack features and she ran her fingers along his face hoping it would help revive him. "Was that comment really necessary?" She finally asked quietly.

Poe pressed his lips together in aggravation. It was obvious that he wanted to say something else but wisely chose to remain quiet.

The whine of the ion engines and the sudden lurching of the Falcon as it prematurely dropped from hyperspace sent all of them stumbling about the cabin. Rey barely moved as she instinctively surround both her and Ben with the Force.

Chewie growled and scrambled back toward the cockpit. Poe was micro-seconds behind him. Another bone shaking blast send Finn staggering into the center game table of the cargo area. Rey quickly hauled herself up, stopping briefly to check on Ben before racing toward the cockpit.

"Keep an eye on him!" She called over her shoulder to no in particular.

Rose looked at Jannah and then at Finn. Something else hit the Falcon and the engines complained as power was diverted to the shields.

"Finn! Get to the guns!" Rey's voice boomed back from the front of the ship.

Shaking the uncertainty from himself, Finn rushed toward the ladder that led down to the pivoting chair that controlled the Falcon's guns. While he loved the action and that chair, he was getting tired of wondering if he was going to die in the cold void of space.

Rose hurried to take Rey's place near Ben's unconscious body. She didn't know what the hell was happening, but she didn't want their best chance at surviving whatever this was distracted. Another teeth-shattering blast shook the old freighter and she could've sworn that she felt the old bolts rattle a bit. She wasn't sure where Jannah had gotten off to, but for the moment her place was here.

XXXX

Ben swam through the darkness seeking a tiny sliver of light. With some relief he finally saw it in the distance. The contact with the hive had sent him careening into the darkside without a center and finding his way back had been extremely difficult. The out of control descent had taken him more time than he would've thought to recover. Grasping at the bright light that was his own core had allowed him to pull his mind back toward his body. He'd sensed he wasn't alone in the darkness and the presence next to him wasn't Rey. Female, but not the one he'd assume would be at his side. Shoving aside the uncomfortable feeling of being watched, he latched onto the light. Ignoring the instant headache pulsating through his skull, Ben pushed himself toward that light.

Occasional bone-jarring shifts of his world almost threw him off his course, but slowly he was able to traverse the darkness. Feeling in his fingers and toes added to the painful sensation of his head. There was a tingling sensation along his arms and legs as his body started to respond to his commands. Finally, his control reached his eyelids and he willed them to slip apart. His head was splitting with the reminder that he'd not come away from his encounter unscathed. The minds that made up the hive were stronger than he and Rey, at least in their command of the Force, which didn't bode well for a fair fight.

His eyelids fluttered and finally revealed the world beyond the darkness. Everything was blurry and spinning with a frenetic energy that instantly put him on guard and made him want to vomit. Rose's worried brown eyes came into focus and he flinched away from the concern he saw there. Everything behind her was moving as though the world was being bombarded by laser canons.

"Are you okay?" The hesitancy in her question made it clear she didn't particularly want to be there.

Carefully, he sat up and leaned against the wall. He could hear the screams of the ion engines as the old freighter struggled with whatever maneuvers the pilot was coaxing out of her. The constant sound of canon fire from the guns below the main deck had him struggling to stand.

"What's going on?" his voice was weaker than he would've liked. His legs nearly buckled. So all of him of weaker than he would've liked…

Rose released a long breath, "We're under attack."

"Yeah, I figured that one out. By whom?"

Shaking her head, "We don't know."

He realized that it must be Rey piloting the ship or they'd likely already be blasted to pieces. Struggling to slightly unsteady feet, Ben pushed past a surprised Rose and stumbled toward the main cockpit. His world spun but he managed to keep his feet under him as the ship was tossed about. The shields wouldn't handle much more of this. He was intimately familiar with the workings of the Falcon. A particularly nasty barrage sent him reeling sideways into the paneled walls.

Grateful that Rose hadn't followed him, he gathered his strength and reached out to the Force…and he found exactly nothing. He couldn't feel the power; he couldn't even sense its presence in the galaxy. Stopping he blinked in both surprise and rising fear. What had the hive presence done to him? His head was still trying to split apart and his body was unstable at best. His eyes lifted to the doorway that led into the pilot's domain. He pushed down his uncontrolled emotions and proceeded forward. He could help; he knew he could. As good as they were, he knew more about this particular ship than almost anyone else alive.

The cockpit was fully engulfed in chaos when he finally reached it. Rey was indeed at the controls, her hands flying over the panels with a practiced ease that made him smile, despite their current situation. Poe had taken up the position just to her left, his eyes wide with disbelief as another cruiser dropped out of hyperspace to join the battle.

"Rey, we can't take much more of this." He warned.

Chewie growled his agreement and hurried to shift the failing power grids to yet another bypass line.

Rey turned irritated eyes on the other pilot and then stopped when she realized Ben was leaning against the doorway. Whatever she'd been about to say was sidelined by that realization. Her eyes softened and she sent him a small smile. Poe followed her eyeline and then rolled his eyes.

"Glad to see you managed to wake up just in time to die."

Aggravated hazel eyes shot him a disapproving look as Rey turned back toward the glass panels. "We're going to be fine."

Ben didn't take Poe's bait, instead he looked at the flashing lights on the controls and pulled up every memory he had of his father's ship. "Have you bypassed the flowlines?"

Chewie growled out an affirmative.

"What about the tertiary cargo power packs?"

Three sets of eyes turned toward him in surprise. "Obviously not. I'll take care of that." He didn't wait for a response, just turned and stumbled along the tilting corridor toward the back end of the cargo bays. Not having the force to help steady the rocking world around him was causing his stomach to rebel. Without warning, he had to lean to the side and wait for the vertigo to pass before continuing to the back of the bay.

Struggling with the heavy grates, Ben missed his power and the ease with which he could've accomplished this task had he had control of the Force. He wanted to do something, no, he needed to do something to feel like part of this ragtag group. Right now, this was all he could do. He'd deal with his fluctuating powers if they survived.

The metal grates cut into his hands as he hauled them away from the compartment that housed the third line of backup power. The ones that his father had installed years ago. He dropped down into the tight space and contorted his tall frame until he was able to reach past the air line and electrical conduits. He managed to get his long fingers around the bypass knife switch and slowly pulled it down. The instantaneous boost to the engine tossed him forward and jammed his hand painfully into the unforgiving control lines.

The Falcon lurched and then all the blasting ceased as the ship was pulled into hyperspace where their attackers couldn't track them. Ben yanked his arm out swearing when a piece of old metal opened a long cut from his wrist to his elbow. The bright red splash of blood was the first thing he saw as his arm came free. Grinding his teeth together, Ben grabbed the bottom of his tunic and ripped it off to create a makeshift bandage.

"Ben?" The voice belonged to Rose.

"I'm fine." He wriggled backwards until he was in the open compartment and then levered himself from the hole. He ignored the way her eyes widened at the blood dripping from his elbow and hauled himself up onto the main decking. He didn't want her sympathy. Grabbing the sharp grating he maneuvered it back into place and sank down to catch his breath. The slow flicker of his bond with Rey caused an internal sigh of relief. He wasn't cut off completely or whatever the hive had done had started to wear off.

The bright edges of power were again pushing at his mind in a familiar and comforting way. He inhaled deeply and then pushed himself to his feet.

"What did you do?"

Rose was a mechanic so he shouldn't have been surprised by her question. But the way she asked it made him wonder if she meant the bypass or his arm. He decided to interpret it as a maintenance question. "I rerouted a third set of generators that my father installed about fifteen years ago."

Rey rushed into the cargo area, her eyes swinging wildly as she searched for him. As soon as she saw him standing up, she rushed forward and planted herself in his arms. "I was worried about you." She admitted softly.

He could feel her anxiety and the barely restrained fear of loss that pulsed along the bond between them. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close before murmuring, "I'm fine. Just a bad a dream."

"You were unconscious." She retorted. Pulling away, Rey stared up into his dark brown eyes. "You were completely unresponsive, Ben."

"It was a _very_ bad dream." He didn't want to get into this with everyone else standing around staring at them. While he was okay with sharing things with her, he wasn't okay with everyone else knowing his weaknesses. His senses were returning quickly, and he could feel their confusion and worse, their ever-present distrust. He would tell Rey, but not right now.

TBC…

_Author's Notes: New Chapter…sorry it's just the one this week. But more to come._

**If you could, take a moment and let me know what you think?**


	16. Black Troopers

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Black Troopers_

Rose wrapped the white bandage around the long gash on Ben's arm. He hadn't winced or even twitched when she'd had to pull the skin together or apply the antiseptic ointment. His eyes remained trained straight ahead, his other hand resting quietly in his lap as she'd worked. She couldn't help but wonder just how many times he'd been stitched back together. Finn had told her about the wound Rey had inflicted on the former supreme leader during the battle on Starkiller base and she could see the starkly white remnants of that almost fatal scar. She still wasn't sure how she felt about the man sitting quietly in front of her. He commanded a power that she would never fully understand but knew enough of to be concerned by it.

Carefully she tied a butterfly knot and leaned back to scan her work. "How's that feel?"

He flexed his hand. "It's fine." Ben started to stand up, suddenly he stopped and turned toward her, "Thank you." It sounded strange coming from the lips of _Kylo Ren_. She was fairly certain he'd never thanked anyone for anything before.

Startled, she blinked twice before answering, "You're welcome."

Turning, he started toward the furthest cargo bay quickly leaving her alone. She leaned against the back of the chair and blew out a long breath to release the tension that had been bottled up inside her. She hadn't figured out how to apologize for the conversation she knew he'd overheard between her and Jannah; it was bothering her, a lot. Normally Rose wasn't one of those people that talked behind other people's backs, but she'd gotten drawn into the conversation and hadn't considered the potential consequences. Now she had to decide how she would handle that sticky situation, that _consequence_.

_Yeah, I just bandaged up that 'consequence'._ She thought miserably.

XXXX

Ben stared out the small porthole at the passing star systems. The cold darkness of space had formed intricate ice crystals on the outermost shell of the viewing material. Small streaks of white looked like the tails of comets as they stretched along that window into space. Staring at them, Ben couldn't help but wonder if his father done the same thing through the same porthole. The familiar ache of loss surrounded him, and he released a slow breath and leaned against the bulkhead. His father's words slipped from his memory into conscious thought, _'come home'._ Han had asked him to forsake his foolish quest into the darkside and choose his family over his ambition. He couldn't do that; not at that time.

"_It's too late." _He remembered saying on that bridge, but he didn't believe that anymore. At the time, Ben had truly thought he'd destroyed any chance at redemption. But his father hadn't believed that and he'd pushed to convince his son.

'I miss you.' It hadn't been 'we' miss you; it had been 'I'. It should have made all the difference to him then, but it hadn't. He'd been too lost in his own hatred and anger at that time.

His head fell back against the cold metal behind him. The strength he'd been relying on since this whole thing had started fled his muscles and he slid to the floor. Pulling his knees against his chest he sat there contemplating his choices and path ahead. He couldn't get lost in his emotional past; Ben needed to be ready for what was coming.

They were set to arrive at Utapau within the next hour and it was more than likely that they would find some form of a fight there. Grinding his teeth together in irritation he knew that they had no other choice. In order to reach the Ring of Kafrene, they needed fuel and additional supplies that they hadn't had time to acquire before leaving the rebel base. The small outpost should have everything they'd need; at least he hoped that it would. But it was likely that remnants of his past would rise up to try and stop them.

Part of him wondered if he would be as useful in this endeavor as he'd initially believed he would be. The moment the Sith hive had taken control of his body it had left something behind. A piece of itself was lodged inside his mind and whatever it was, is was leaving him vulnerable to attacks. And they weren't something he could guard against. When his shields had been shattered, he'd realized that he was a liability to this mission**. **A weakness that could be used against the resistance. _And Rey._

There was only one way that _didn't _happen; when the time came, Ben would have to remove himself from them…_from her._ Not forever, just until they defeated the hive and had regained full control of his own mind.

"You okay?"

Startled, he realized that he hadn't even heard her approaching. _I really am a mess._

Rey settled down next to him, her hip intimately connecting to his as she leaned against him. Ben didn't know how to answer that. Physically? He was sore and his head was splitting, but he was alright. Mentally? That was a whole different story.

He shifted, draping his left arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his side. "I'm fine." He reassured with a light squeeze.

Rey's eyes lifted to meet his before dropping to his lips, the naked hunger he read there surprised him. He didn't even think about his actions, he simply titled his head and lightly touched his lips to hers. She hummed against him and he couldn't stop the smile.

She chuckled against him before pulling away. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

"To what?"

She shifted so that she could stare up into his eyes. "Kissing someone." Rey blushed, "Having someone _to_ kiss." She finished softly as her knuckles ran along the length of his thigh.

He ran his fingers over her upper arm, the intimate caress sent chills through her. "I'm often surprised that you would even _want_ to kiss me." It wasn't self-deprecating, simply his assessment of their past relationship. When they'd first met, he wouldn't have been able see this outcome for them. He's been so determined to peel away who and what she was that it had never occurred to him that she might be his _match…_his soulmate.

"Why?" Her expression was perplexed.

Ben drew his eyebrows together, then he dropped his gaze. "Rey, I'm not exactly the classically good-looking hero type. And I certainly don't make up for that with a winning personality." He pulled one of the tendrils of hair between his fingers and stroked the silky mass of brown. "You could have anyone you want. Rey, you're beautiful; don't you know that?"

She leaned into his hand and wrapped her arms around him. "So are you."

He didn't say anything, just leaned his head against the top of hers. Apparently, it was true, what people said, love really was blind.

Someone cleared their throat causing their eyes to jolt upwards. Finn stood just out of eyeline, his breathing and presence in the Force the only way they knew he was there. Rey reluctantly pulled from of his embrace and came to her feet, facing Finn's direction.

"Yes?"

He stepped around the corner, keeping his eyes trained only on her. "We're coming into range of Utapau. Poe wanted me to let you both know."

Ben hauled himself upright, swaying slightly as his body adjusted to his new position. This whole injured thing was really beginning to irritate him.

Finn turned only to have Rey's hands grasp his forearm. "Can I speak with you, please?" She sent a mental equivalent of a hug toward Ben before she started walking.

The former stormtrooper nodded and followed her out of the bay.

Ben turned toward the porthole again, his attention focused on Rey's emotional state instead of the ice crystals.

XXXX

Finn followed her, his heart hammering inside his chest. He'd overhead their conversation and even though he'd known about their _relationship_, it had hurt worse than he'd expected to have it confirmed. He didn't know when he'd crossed the line from friendship to love, but he did _love_ Rey. He wanted her to be happy and listening to her speak to Kylo—_No, Ben Solo…_of her feelings? That appeared to make her happy and it would have to suffice.

He moved to last cargo bay near the hatch and turned to face her. Rey's expression was a mass of hope, desperation, fear and love. She didn't want to lose him any more than he wanted to lose her, but they didn't want the same type of relationship. If he made her choose, she would choose Ben Solo. He could see it so clearly in her hazel eyes that it was heartbreaking for him.

And yet, he would never make her choose. Rey had no family in the universe and neither, to his knowledge, did he. "I already know." Finn said softly. At lease he could spare himself having to hear her say it.

She swallowed, "I didn't plan this, Finn." Rey stepped closer to him. "I didn't even think I wanted it." Her fingers loosened and she allowed them to slip from his arm. It had never been her intention to hurt him and yet she'd done it anyway.

He smiled sadly. "But you do? Want it? With him?" Finn knew the answer before she'd so much as nodded. It was in her face as she stepped closer to him, reaching out with her hand. "Do I have to like it?" His question was edged with a humor he didn't really feel.

A smirk pulled at the edges of her lips. She moved in closer and wrapped her arms around him. Finn folded into her and returned the embrace with an enthusiasm that left nothing to her imagination. She couldn't stand to lose him over her choice of partner. For better or worse they were linked for the whole of their lives. "You're the only family I have." She whispered and he tightened his arms.

"Same here."

He didn't know how long they stood like that, but eventually he felt her muscles twitch and released the hold. "Think you could ever like him?" she wondered out loud.

Finn stepped back so he could see her more clearly. "Rey…I don't—" he didn't know how to answer her question. It was more complicated for him than for her. He'd spent his entire life terrified of the man known as Kylo Ren. That had been the name used to strike fear into the stormtrooper legions throughout his service within the First Order. And while he recognized that Ben wasn't fully Kylo Ren, he was part of that monster. It was going to take longer for him to accept the possibility that a person could completely abandon such a part of themselves. His limited Force sensitivity did allow him to feel the difference between the man that had terrorized the galaxy and the man that had been willing to sacrifice himself for Rey. So, there was a chance that he could learn to live with her relationship with him.

Would they ever hit up Mos Eisley for a glass of ale? Not likely. She hadn't said a thing, even though he knew that he'd been silent for far too long. He sighed, "Eventually. Probably."

"He's a good person Finn."

He snorted at that.

She thinned her lips and raised an eyebrow. "He is. The Emperor had been breaking down his defenses since he was old enough to walk. And then there was Snoke." She swallowed at the memory of the supreme leader and his infiltration of her own mind. "He broke down what was left of Ben Solo. Made him feel alone and abandoned by those who loved him most. He's a victim in this Finn. Every bit as much as you or Jannah."

Blowing out a long breath, Finn shook his head sharply. "I didn't have a choice in what happened to me." He argued.

Rey's disappointment was clearly evident as she dropped her hands and put some distance between them. "Neither did he." She turned away from him.

"Rey, wait." He couldn't let her walk away, not like this.

She didn't turn, but she did stop and _hopefully _listen.

"I can't promise anything long-term. But I can promise I'll give him a chance. What he does with it is his choice."

She nodded once before continuing out of the narrow cargo area.

"So do we know what we're looking for?" he asked, following her toward the cockpit.

She shrugged, "Supplies. Poe seemed to have a pretty good idea what we could find here and Ben knows the area we're heading to."

Finn stopped. "Did they talk about this?"

"I assume so."

Poe stuck his head around the corner. "You assume what?"

She lifted an eyebrow at his eavesdropping tendencies. "That you and Ben discussed just what we need from this place?"

He grimaced. "No. We haven't."

"Don't you think that would be a good idea?" His overly helpful best friend asked around the smile he was trying to suppress.

Poe leaned against the bulkhead and folded his arms in a defiant pose. "Probably."

Chewie's rumbling from the cockpit drew their attention and Poe rolled his eyes. "No one asked you."

Another round of growls followed his snarky response. "Why yes, I think it would be a grand idea to talk to the person that has been to the planet we're heading to." Rey answered with an irritated edge. "Plus, you can't just pretend he's not here."

"Sure, I can. It's been working so far."

She narrowed her eyes as her irritation rose another notch. "Poe—"

"Fine." Pushing away from the bulkhead he headed back into the cargo area. There was nothing helpful in his body language so it was likely his conversation with Ben wouldn't be all that useful anyways.

Sighing, she followed him back.

XXXX

The long narrow streets were strewn with everything from trash to spice-addicts. Tall oddly shaped towers rose up on either side with the occasional platform resting at the top. Aliens of all kinds roamed through the night atmosphere searching for Force knew what. Ben pulled his cowl closer around his face hoping it would keep anyone from recognizing who he was. He'd rarely made contact with anyone outside of the First Order without wearing his signature mask, but he wasn't exactly discreet in his costume choice.

A howl from somewhere in the distance caught his attention. His hand immediately felt for the absent presence of his lightsaber. He should have asked Rey for Luke's prior to leaving the Falcon, but Poe and Jannah had emphatically argued against his being armed with a Jedi weapon. Not because he shouldn't be armed, but because it would have been with the weapon of his choice. He couldn't really blame them for their opinions. But he had wanted to argue the insanity of sending any of their party into a known smuggler's town unarmed.

A blast of cold air pulled at the edges of his hood. Rey had gone with Rose, Jannah and Poe; which had left him and Finn alone for the first time since her return. The ex-stormtrooper had said anything to him since leaving the ship and frankly, Ben wasn't expecting him to. Had their roles been reversed he wasn't sure he'd be able to have a _friendly_ conversation with the man Rey had chosen over him. So, he did his best to keep from making matters worse.

Another gust whirled past them just as they reached the cantina. _Gatosina _was a well-known gathering place for smugglers and people wishing to remain anonymous. The orange and red lights from inside the smoky bar beckoned them in.

Clangy music played from some type of instrument Ben had never heard before. It grated on his upper audio ranges and he hoped that they wouldn't have to stay long. The headache he'd been battling had started to feel like splinters behind his eyes. Emotions that weren't his battered against his thin shields and threatened to undermine his control. Clenching his teeth together, he followed Finn into the depths of the Cantina.

Neither of them noticed the small figure sitting in the corner booth. A single glass of purple Correlian whiskey sitting untouched on the table. Pointed ears twitched in their direction before the alien grabbed a communicator and flicked it on.

"Tell Admiral Tyko I know where his missing _supreme leader _is. And I expect a handsome bounty for that information." A garbled response that only he understood crackled through the device. "Utapau, the Gatosina Cantina in Tuille." A second shorted response sent a smile across the thick lips. "Pleasure doing business with you."

XXXX

The small team of stormtroopers jogged through Tuille. Their white plastic uniforms had been traded in for the long black clothing of a Knight. They moved effortlessly through the light of the two moons leaving virtually no impressions in the soft dirt of the central road. They had slung their larger blaster rifles and now carried a variety of energy weapons similar to the ones that had been utilized by the Knights of Ren. The red shoulder decals marked them as part of the highest trained troopers outside of those tapped to join those knights. Each black-trooper was well versed in the fighting styles of the Jedi as well as the Sith and they'd been granted additional knowledge by their new leader.

She had personally selected them based on an evaluation that only she understood. Savagery and loyalty were at the center of her assessment of their minds. And then she'd infiltrated those same minds to ensure her control and expand their skills. A part of their minds was now occupied by fractured memories of previous Sith lords, similar to what she'd done to the praetorian guards around her chambers. She could take control of them easily enough, if necessary, but she would rather that they learn to operate within their new hosts independently of her control.

Once Admiral Tyko received the report of both the girl and the traitorous apprentice, she'd sent out this team to capture them both. Under no circumstances could they be allowed to acquire the kyber crystal they sought. And if that meant killing one of them to sever their bond, then so be it.

Jaxton, the ranking trooper held up his hand as a group. They each took up a defensive position until he determined they could again move forward. He watched as the band of rebels quietly entered the Cantina. One was tall and dressed in all black, a positive indicator that this was the former supreme leader. While the other was shorter and stockier. The description he'd been given did not match the second individual, so it was unlikely this was the scavenger girl.

_Too bad, I'd like to have tested this new body in combat._ He considered their options and made a quick decision, if they could only acquire one of their targets, Kylo Ren would be best. It was his knowledge of the Ring of Kefrene that they were using to track the rare kyber crystal. Without him, it would be far less likely that they would find what they were looking for. When his rebel friends came to rescue him, the Empress could decide what she wanted done with all of them.

He smiled, yes that would be far more impressive to his new master. Far better than presenting her with only one of them or just the head of which ever one they killed. The second directive wasn't what the Empress preferred. She had plans for these two and killing them was a last resort and to be avoided under almost every circumstance.

Yes, capture was a far better plan…

TBC…

**Author's Note**: _Sorry it's not Sunday. But new chapter…here you go._

**Reviews?**


	17. Ambush

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Ambush_

Ben sensed the men before they were able to corner he and Finn in the Cantina. Unfortunately, it had not been before they'd determined who _he _was. Turning, he lifted his hands in a plaintive gesture. "We don't want any trouble. We're just looking for some supplies fuel." The long robe and cowl did little to hide who he was. He wanted to groan internally at that.

"Seriously guys, we're just here to buy some fuel." Finn decided he'd better say something. Not that he expected it would downplay the situation, but one could always hope. "We don't want any trouble."

The shorter man smirked at him and he knew they were screwed; these men obviously knew who he was, and they weren't interested in a peaceful solution to this encounter. "So says a former stormtrooper and the _former _supreme leader of the First Order." He was flanked by no less than six other figures; all of whom looked ready to make trouble.

Finn's hand twitched toward his blaster. The sudden pressure against his temple made it pretty obvious that that probably wasn't a good idea. He turned slightly, only to find himself staring into the unrelenting black eyes of a Lacertilo and his overly _eager_ blaster rifle. "Try it, traitor. _Please_ try it."

Anger burned inside Finn at the insult, but he did slowly pull his hands away from his weapon. It had been some time since he'd been referred to as a 'traitor' and he hadn't missed the name. Finn kept an eye on them, but his attention shifted to where Ben was staring intently at the man addressing them. The orange and brown montrals and elongated ears identified him as a Kesurrian and he didn't look any friendlier than the one threatening Finn. The former supreme leader didn't at all worried, at least on the outside.

"I no longer owe my allegiance to the First Order…or any order." Ben answered through his teeth. Rage was seething just beneath the surface of his calm expression. He really didn't want to get into a fight with Finn so close. While he could protect himself, the last thing Ben wanted was to explain to Rey how her best friend had died because of _him_. Not to mention there was a small part of _him_ that was growing accustomed to the man. Perhaps someday he'd actually be able to say they were friends.

His seizure earlier had damped his ability to access the power he'd been born with, which meant he couldn't call on the Force to help him and pulling the blaster he'd been given would invite the fight he was hoping to avoid. Not to mention, he wasn't as efficient with a blaster as a lightsaber. For the second time that night he wished he'd either asked for Luke's lightsaber or he'd kept his t-shaped saber. Because he was probably going to get his ass kicked if this became a fight.

He'd never felt like he was fighting with his hands tied behind his back before, he did now.

"Well, that's too bad for you. Because we are looking for some—" he glanced around the Cantina, held his hands up and got rousing applause for his troubles. "Entertainment."

Ben sighed. His eyes slid sideways to Finn. The younger man nodded once, and Ben knew that they were headed for that _fight_. "Fine." He tossed the cowl back and shouldered the thick black robe off onto the dirty floor. The music didn't stop, but the patrons did back away slightly, giving them more space. Tables were pulled out of the way and circled up like a gladiatorial ring. His dark eyes caught the significant increase in audience as he kicked the material away from his feet.

"What're you doing?" Finn whispered. He'd stepped to Ben's side and pulled his own blaster.

Dark eyes shifted to him and then down to the weapon. "Not in here. Too many people."

Finn's eyes widened, "What?"

The dark-haired man turned toward him, lowering his voice and leaning in slightly. "No blasters in here. You'll hit someone you didn't mean to and then we'll be dealing with the local law as well as these galactic idiots."

Inhaling deeply, Finn holstered his blaster. "This isn't going to be fun."

Ben straightened up to his full height. Even without the iron mask of Kylo Ren, he made an intimidating figure. "Let's get on with the _entertainment_."

The others stretched out, putting space between them and setting themselves up to keep ben and Finn from being any help to one another. The first assailant struck out at Ben just as a second made a wild swing for Finn.

Ben parried the punch, striking out with one of his own. His right fist made contact just when he was doubled over with blinding pain in his back. One of the men had gotten behind him and hit him with a long bow staff. He staggered but kept his feet. Spinning, he grabbed the attacker by the throat and threw him into a table, causing several patrons to scatter like cockroaches.

"Poodoo!" One of them shouted as he gathered up his broken drink glass and head back to the bar.

He didn't have time to wonder about what was sure to be an insult. Three of them came at him at the same time, he managed to duck the first two, but the third one landed a staggering blow across his left cheek. Ben's head snapped to the right and his legs buckled. Going down on one knee, he shook his head to clear the instant haze that had spread from the strike.

"Ben!" Finn called. The concern in his voice was surprising, but it did get Ben back on his feet rather quickly. Two guys had pinned Finn's arms while another approached with a wicked bat looking thing.

_Kriff!_ If they managed to land a blow to Finn's head, it could kill him. Ben swallowed all his fears and reached for the Force. His head exploded with a combination of power and pain as it flowed through him. It took all his concentration to control it. He flung the power out, it struck the three men simultaneously sending them backwards into the bar. Yelling and curses burst from the aliens trying to enjoy a bit of a drink. And suddenly the entire place erupted in pandemonium.

Finn spun around, grabbing the man closest to him and laying him out with a powerful right cross. He could feel the blood trickling from a split lip, wiping at it he turned to look for Ben and froze.

Across the Cantina no less than a dozen black clad stormtroopers were making their way toward Ben. He was fighting like a man possessed. His body a strange broken weapon as he struck down the men that kept attacking him. True to his word, he'd never drawn his weapon. But from the bloody and discolored bruising along his face, he hadn't fared much better than Finn. Although, that moment when Finn had been pinned down and the suddenness of his attacker's withdrawal meant that Ben had likely used the Force to save him. He didn't know what to think about that, so he didn't.

Every one of them was carrying both a blaster and a kyber-energy weapon. Even if Ben had had a lightsaber, in his current condition he couldn't have fought off that many of them. Weariness coursed through him as he staggered against the wall behind him. The troopers didn't seem to have noticed Finn. Gathering what little strength he had, Ben focused the order and sent it coursing along the weak link of Finn's Force sensitivity.

"_Find Rey!_"

He saw the moment the order penetrated Finn's mind. His eyes snapped wide, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

Ben wanted to send another order, but his head was splitting and his body starting to list to the side. He still didn't know exactly what the hive had done to him when she'd invaded his mind. Apparently, his physical strength was as taxed as his mind. Normally he could have fought this many men with his hands tied behind his back, but his efforts were hampered by the last few weeks.

The trooper wearing the shoulder tabs, marking him as the senior ranking, stepped forward. Four of his troops gathered on either side of Ben, Force suppressing manacles hanging from the one closest his left hand.

"Kylo Ren. We've been looking for you." He glanced around the Cantina, which was surprisingly empty now. The arrival of the First Order always had that effect on businesses. Although in the past, it had been at Ben's order. "_She_ has been looking for you."

At the mention of the _Empress_, Ben's blood ran cold. "Why?" he asked. His continued casting his eyes about the room, marking the location of all his enemies. And the absence of one _friend._ Finn was gone. _Good._

The leader slammed the end of his blaster into Ben's stomach. All the air whooshed from his lungs as he dropped to his knees. He hated the fact that he was on his _knees_ before an enemy. Leaning over he whispered in his captive's ear, "I don't ask her questions. I do as I'm told." He placed his palm against Ben's head and the former supreme leader knew nothing but agony.

He hadn't sensed the Force power that stripped his consciousness, but it was layered with the undercurrents of the _hive's _power. He dropped forward onto his chest as awareness fled.

XXXX

Finn watched from behind the bar, his heart hammering in his chest. He felt like a coward, but he knew that there wasn't another choice. If both of them were caught, then there would be no one to send the others after them. And yet watching as Ben was attacked had been more difficult than he would have anticipated. The man had given him time to save himself and their mission…at the expense of his own freedom.

And now he was in the hands of their enemy.

XXXX

Rey felt Ben's light blink out. She could still feel him, but he wasn't conscious. His emotions were absent which only happened when he wasn't awake, and not by his own choice. Ben still had dreams, so his emotions were constantly roiling beneath his surface mind. But not now.

Her heart seized at that knowledge. Because if he was unconscious, it meant that Ben and Finn had run into trouble. She reached out for Finn's presence and a small part of her anxiety abated. His mind was there, angry and frustrated but there. Without thinking, she turned and ran in the direction of his Force presence.

"Rey?!" Poe's call was from somewhere behind her. She ignored it and ran faster. Her friend needed her; _Ben _needed her.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Apologies for the later posting, but things have been a bit crazy. That whole global Pandemic thing. Hope you are all safe!_

_If you're so inclined, reviews are always welcome._


	18. Taken

_**Chapter: Eighteen**_

**Taken**

_Fifteen minutes earlier…_

Rey sank against the cold brick wall as the local law traipsed past her. She could have dealt with them, but she didn't want to be that person. So, she hid in the shadows with Jannah. The frozen air penetrated her long jacket and she shivered involuntarily. It reminded of her of that night on Kijimmi, before her entire life had changed. That single night had hurdled her down a road toward her past and it had determined her future.

A pang of regret knifed through her, as it always did, at the fate of that doomed planet. It had been her journey that had ended the lives of so many beings on that distant world. True, she hadn't been the one to choose that planet, it had been Poe, but the First Order had followed her. _Ren_ had followed her. She shivered, circling him as he threw his knowledge of her parents and her heritage at her like daggers had been awful. She'd tried to deny what she was feeling, what she knew. But Ren had been insistent that her past be brought into the cold light of day. No hiding in the shadows and pretending that she didn't feel _something_ when he spoke of her parents. He had forced her to face things she'd always known.

It was difficult for her to reconcile the man that she had fallen in love with, with her stark and terrifying memories of Kylo Ren. Ben Solo was so different from the dark apprentice. He was kind and open with her and yet, in her heart she understood that they were still the same person. But when he'd saved her life, he'd cast the remnants of Kylo Ren into the past. She could feel it every time they touched. He wasn't the same man that had ruthlessly dug through her mind or denied their Force connection and it could mean at the feet of his slain master. He loved her. And she loved him.

The loud crack of a cart hitting the stone wall to her right yanked her back to the present. Shaking her head, Rey swallowed and refocused on the mission. Her job was to secure food and medical supplies while Poe and Rose gathered a few parts they still needed to fully restore the Falcon's hyperspace abilities. The old freighter had been damaged during the fire fight and she was afraid if they kept engaging the hyperdrive they were going to fry one of the ion engines. And _that_ would be a really big problem since securing a new one would likely cost far more than they had access to.

Jannah's hand landed gently on her shoulder. "You okay?"

Swallowing her memories, Rey nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Just thinking. This place reminds me of one of the worlds the First Order destroyed."

"Because of you?" It wasn't meant to imply fault or to hurt her. Jannah's comment was simply a clarification of what was already going through Rey's head.

Rey inhaled. Her breathing unsteady; she turned to look Jannah in the eyes. "Yes."

The former stormtrooper's dark head tilted to the side in sympathy. Jannah understood in a way that most people couldn't. "There are a lot of worlds that were destroyed by the First Order. I'm sorry this one reminds you of any of them." It was said with genuine condolence, but still hard to hear.

"It's alright. It was bound to happen." Trying to shift the conversation, "Any word from Poe or Finn?" she asked hopefully.

Jannah looked down at her communicator. "Nothing yet." She leaned around the corner. "Anything from the Force?"

"It doesn't really work like tha—" Rey's eyes unfocused momentarily and then flew open in shock. "Ben." She whispered.

"What?" The Jannah's eyes were bright with alarmed concern as she watched Rey's face fall.

"Something's happened." She'd barely finished the statement before she was racing in the direction of his force-presence. Rey didn't check to see if Jannah was following her, she knew she was, even as she careened around a second corner. The cool steel of her lightsaber was already in her hands and she still had no idea what she was running into. But it wasn't just Ben she sensed was in trouble; it was also Finn.

Rey couldn't lose them both. Blowing snow swirled around her in angry torrents and for the first time she missed the dry warmth of the desert nights on Jakku. Even running wasn't keeping her warm anymore. She heard Jannah call Poe on the communicator and then Chewie's roar as he listened to the message too. And his responding "Rey…"

Jannah's breaths came in ragged pants as she relayed his message. "Poe says there's a Mega class star destroyer in orbit above the planet. He thinks it might be hers."

She didn't need to explain who '_she_' was. Rey's feet faltered for a second before she forced them to keep hitting the ground with the same rhymical pattern as she closed the last of the distance between her, Ben, and whatever was attacking him. She blinked when she felt Finn's bright spark and the undercurrent of worry and fear. But the fear wasn't for himself, it was for Han Solo's son. That nearly stopped her in her tracks. If Finn was here and worried, then someone else had also been here and had done something to Ben.

Anger reached in and allowed her to access more speed than she'd ever thought possible. Her body responded in ways she hadn't felt since training on Ajan Kloss with Leia. She managed to tap into her latent Force energies and use them to power her forward. Rey barely recognized Jannah's slowly receding call for her to slow down. She couldn't do that. Her friends; no, her _future_ was in trouble.

A whisper of new fear within the Force slipped along the edges of her mind. She had no time to focus on what it meant, if it meant anything at all. It could be her own mind conjuring up her terror of losing Ben. She pushed the slight tendrils of fear to the back of her mind, but she couldn't banish them all together.

She slid around the final corner just as Finn came barreling from the other direction. Only her Jedi reflexes allowed her to avoid a painful crash between their two bodies. Rey grabbed Finn's shoulders and shook him with frustration and worry.

"What happened? Her eyes flashed over his shoulder as she looked for Ben. "Where's Ben?"

Finn's dark eyes dropped, and he shook off her hold. "The Final order—"

The arrival of Jannah stopped him mid-sentence. Giving her a quick nod, he continued. "The patrons in the Cantina attacked us. Ben wouldn't pull his blaster. Wouldn't let me pull mine either. We were doing okay until Black Troopers showed up."

Jannah's eyes widened, "The what?" She'd never heard of such a thing before.

His haunted eyes shifted to her. "I've never seen them before. They looked like some bastardized version of the Knights of Ren. But they had _power_."

Rey's jaw tightened. "Force power?"

He nodded.

"What happened to Ben?" She asked again. Her lightsaber already in her hand despite knowing there was nothing she could do to change the past. Why were they always chasing the _darkside_ around? Couldn't things go right for a moment? Just one moment where either she, Finn, Poe or Ben weren't being used as bait or some kind of lure to get them all out into the open?

"He told me to hide and find you." Finn's answer was soft. "I didn't want to, but I knew that if we were both taken then you'd have no way of knowing how to find us." He lifted his chin, it quavered slightly as he continued. "He saved me Rey. He kept them from sensing my presence and refused to fight." His voice trailed off. "He saved me…" he whispered to no one in particular.

Her mouth went dry and her hands trembled with the need to strike something, anything. Burying the violent emotions, she took a breath before turning back in the direction of the Falcon. "We have to find him."She was terrified for Ben. But her fear wouldn't help them right now; wouldn't help _him_. Reaching out, she felt their faint Force connection.

His emotions were still absent which meant he wasn't conscious yet, but he was alive. She took off at a light jog toward the ship, keeping a firm mental grip on their dyad link as she did.

XXXX

Admiral Tyko watched the unconscious man being drug through the stark hallways. Kylo Ren had always made an imposing figure. He'd been 23 when Snoke had lured him from the Light side of the Force and he'd already towered over six feet, but over the years he'd developed into one of the most skilled fighters and pilots the First Order had ever seen. His heavy frame reflected that now. His dark head hung down as his limp figure was cast into the interrogation chamber. He'd been searched for any weapons prior to being brought on board. The only thing he'd carried had been an old blaster, which had been immediately taken away.

But he wasn't carrying a lightsaber. Odd, since that was his weapon of choice and certainly the one that an opponent should be fearful of. In those skills, Kylo had been unparalleled. Tyko watched as the former supreme leader was strapped into the interrogation chair. A medical droid floated through the air and waited as one of the black troopers ripped the sleeve from Ren's shirt exposing the pale soft flesh of his right arm. Deftly, the droid inserted a long thick needle into the vein at his elbow and depressed a sulphurous yellow liquid. Once it had completed that action, the medical droid left the needle inserted and proceeded to hook up several lines running from multiple bags. By the time it was done, Ren had four different colored liquids feeding a continuous stream of something into his body. The small droid turned and floated from the room without ever acknowledging the Admiral's presence.

He was okay with that. The droids involved with interrogations had always creeped him out.

Jaxom, the leader of the Empresses black troopers had also stayed to watch. Whoever he'd been before she'd _inducted _him into her guard no longer existed. He was an amalgamation of previous Sith lords and the power inside him was palpable.

"I'll watch him Admiral."

It wasn't an offer; it was a dismissal. And while he wanted to argue, Tyko wasn't an idiot. If Jaxom was offering to stay it was because he'd been told to by the Empress. She held exclusive control over the black trooper's actions, and he wouldn't dare defy her. Because it had been her power to grant him a second life, she could also crush his soul into nothing; if she chose to. So pissing her off wasn't on his list of things to do.

The admiral nodded and turned to exit. "We are to set course for the outer rim. The Ring of Kefrene." Jaxom gave out her orders like it was normal for an admiral to listen to a soldier.

A small piece of Tyko rankled at the order and yet he had no question that it had come from _her_. Without saying a word, he simply nodded and exited the chamber leaving the unconscious prisoner and the leader of her black troopers alone.

XXXX

The disconnected feeling between his head and his body instantly reminded Ben that he wasn't somewhere he wanted to be. Pain lanced through him with surprising ferocity and he had to bite his tongue to keep from giving it a voice. He tried to shift, _wonderful, restraints._ He realized when his arms and legs wouldn't budge an inch. Recalling the circumstances of his capture, he tried to reach out and feel Rey. Was she okay? Had the others been captured as well? He hoped he was the only one. It hadn't been his plan going in, but if they remained free then she would try and find him.

"I can feel your awareness."

A voice he'd never heard before convinced him it would be in his best interest to open his eyes; the bright lights of an interrogation chamber caused burning tears to leak from the corners. A tight pinching at his elbow alerted him to the presence of the needle. Slowly, he blinked the tears away and managed to force his eyelids to part.

A dark figured was hunched down at his feet. It was an exact replica of how he'd been positioned while waiting for Rey to regain consciousness after he'd taken her from Takodana. If he was about to be receive the same treatment, he'd given her, he was in serious trouble. His mind was wrapped in a shroud of darkness that he couldn't penetrate, and his body ached all the way to his bones. His life wasn't all that much better than it had been when he'd been a part of the First Order; at least not at the moment.

"Who are you?" His throat was dry and even he winced at the sound.

The figure tilted his helmet-covered head but said nothing. Ben struggled against the restraints; he knew better than to think he would be able to work his way out of them. The being at his feet stood suddenly and shifted toward Ben. He leaned further into his chair, knowing he couldn't escape anything that was about to happen to him.

The door behind him whooshed open and Ben knew that they'd been joined by _her_. The power radiating off her was both terrifying and intoxicating. Had he not already belonged to Rey, mind, body, and soul; he might have been tempted by that power. But there was nothing that the darkside could offer him that would equal what he already had. Rey was his other half, literally.

Lightening seemed to crackle through the air as she strolled around him, tilting her head as she did. Ben couldn't see her eyes; the dark cowl effectively hid her from him. But even in his drugged state he could _feel_ her hatred; her hunger. Unlike with Snoke, she radiated evil and dark power. There was no question that she was dangerous, both to the remainder of the resistance, but to him personally.

She reached out and slid cold fingers along a pre-determined path on his cheek. Her touch left a fiery burning sensation in its wake and he hissed with the pain. She'd traced the scar along his right cheek, and now it felt as raw and open as the day Rey had given it to him. "You were lucky she didn't know her own power." Lifting her fingers, the Empress stepped into his eyeline. "When she gave you this."

Ben was struck by her size. The vessel she'd taken was at least five inches shorter than Rey, but thick enough to speak of a muscled frame hidden beneath the black cloak. Which meant athletic, probably with the ability to efficiently wield a lightsaber. Not that she needed to, her guards were more than capable of protecting her. Couple them with the power she wielded, the chances of her ever lifting a saber weren't good.

He tried to hide away his knowledge of the resistance plans. Burying it beneath almost every other memory he had. She'd still find it, eventually. But it would take her a long time of sifting through his mind to locate that specific piece of information. Reaching up, she pulled the cowl back to reveal a girl about Rey's age. She had dark chocolate brown eyes and sable hair. Her face was rounder than Rey's and her skin was a sickly pale color from the lack of sun. He tried to recall who she was; or at least who she had been. He couldn't place her.

She nodded once and the interrogation droid entered the chamber. His heart sank to somewhere in the vicinity of his boots. He recalled only too well how much pain these droids were programmed to inflict. And with his Force power suppressed by the drugs, he wouldn't be able to separate himself from the torture. But the droid halted about three meters from the chair and hovered menacingly.

"I would prefer not to use that mechanical device on you, Kylo Ren."

He jerked at her use of that name. "That's not my name."

She exhaled then lifted a hand to the droid. "Yes, it is. It is the name of your true self. The self you've only forgotten."

Ben didn't know how long the interrogation droid worked on him, but eventually he could do nothing but scream. And when his vocal cords gave out, he was forced to suffer in relative silence. He slumped against the restraints when the droid finally drifted away from him. The Empress had stepped back and watched the entire event with an almost gleeful expression. His pain brought her the greatest pleasure she'd known since returning from the darkside of the veil.

Only then did she move forward and place the tips of her fingers against his temple. He'd never felt like he was being _unmade_ at a cellular level. He now knew exactly what that felt like. She stripped away his personality piece by piece; locking _Ben Solo _away inside a mental puzzle box he couldn't find his way out of. The only parts she left were those of Kylo Ren and from that anger and bitter betrayal she built him back up into the weapon she needed him to be.

When he finally slumped in the restraints, his mind completely spent she stepped back smiling at her success. It had taken time, but she'd manager to pry the Light out of him and lock it away. Not only would he serve her, losing him would greatly impact the mental stability of the Scavenger.

Jaxom had watched the entire session with a dispassionate expression. He knew that he hadn't been dismissed for a reason, he simply had to wait for her reveal what that reason was. "Go back to the planet. Release her true identity on every frequency possible. We shall see how many of her _friends_ remain when they know who Rey truly is."

"Yes, Empress." He bowed and quickly exited the chamber.

She turned back and stared at her handy work with a small smile. True he was physically a mess at the moment, but his wounds would heal, even if his mind didn't. She ran her fingers through the blood trails on his cheeks, leaving a clean streak before bringing them to her lips.

Without a backwards glance, she turned toward the door; leaving him alone in the silence.

He swam through the pain back toward awareness. And yet he didn't have a clear grip on who he was. Two different lives floated at the edges of his mind, but only one was within his reach. The other was locked behind a pulsating barrier of some kind. So, he grabbed onto the only thing he could…Kylo Ren.

XXXX

Ben had been missing more than two weeks. They still had no leads about the whereabouts of the star destroyer. And his absence had taken a heavy toll on Rey. She was quiet and distant. Even Finn was having a difficult time getting her to talk to him. She barely ate. And she was constantly pouring over the navigation charts stored in the Falcon's memory banks. Dio and BB-8 were able to be in her presence easier than anyone else. So, the two droids kept an eye on her and reported back to both Finn and Poe. Jannah and Rose had commandeered another vessel and headed to Ajan Klos for reinforcements and to relay what had happened to delay the mission.

Rey was startled awake by a presence she thought dead. Suddenly at the other end of the dyad connection was _Kylo's_ presence. The bright blue of Ben's mind was nowhere to be found. A fear unlike anything she'd experienced since watching her parents flying away on Ochi's ship penetrated her. Sweat rolled down her cheeks, soaking her pillow and causing her to throw off the woolen blanket. Not because of the fear, but because the fear wasn't hers. Another presence as strong in her mind as Ben's, was radiating a nearly overwhelming fear wrapped with concern.

It happened within the breath of a moment. Her hand flew to her flat stomach and she blinked in surprise. The fear inside her mind abated slightly, replaced by a sense of warmth; for her. Rey scooted backwards until she was leaning against the wall of the bunk. How was this possible? _Pregnant?_ She'd only ever been with Ben. And that had happened once, about two months ago. And yet the moment the thought appeared in her mind she knew it to be true. Having never had a family of her own, Rey had never considered that she might someday be a parent herself. Ben had been a surprise. The depth of her feelings for him had been a surprise.

And yet she couldn't bring herself to be anything but pleased by the tiny presence glowing in the corner of her mind. It couldn't communicate, but it did have basic emotions. Fear. Love. Anger. Sadness. Happiness. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. It was more important than ever that they find Ben. He had to know he was going to be a father. Her entire perspective on this battle with the darkside took on new meaning. Her own parents had died to keep her from becoming a pawn, she would not allow her child to suffer the way she had. They would have to destroy this new evil before then.

_I won't let your father die either. I promise._ An instant feeling of warmth spread through her and Rey knew that it may not understand her specific promise, the child knew enough to understand her meaning.

TBC…

**Author's Note**: _Hope you enjoyed the newest twist…until next_ _time_. Would love to hear from you guys.


	19. Conditioned

**Chapter Nineteen**

_Conditioned_

Finn couldn't believe what he'd just heard. The trader's market on Savareen had been buzzing with the newest rumor and it was about Rey. _Palpatine. _They were saying she was a Palpatine…? He wanted to deny it, but in his heart, he felt the truth of those words. How was it possible that he didn't know? Did she not trust him? Sure, that was a heavy bit of news, but damn…

He gathered the supplies stuffing them into the threadbare pack and turned toward the landing fields. It had been two weeks since the mess on Utapau and none of them were handling it particularly well, especially Rey. She'd been extremely withdrawn and far too quiet. And now with this bit of news, Finn was moving beyond simply being _worried _about her_._

Ben's capture had blown through the resistance camps like a firestorm. The kindest responses had been 'well that's too bad' and 'at least he'll get what he deserves'. While the nastier ones accused him of returning to the service of the Final Order and destroying the last good memories of his parents. _That one_ had been difficult to listen to. He wasn't exactly a fan of the man, but his feelings had softened significantly since Ben had saved his life.

Being a former stormtrooper that had turned against the might of the First Order wouldn't have made him any friends had he been captured. And Finn was not under any illusions as to whether or not he would have been kept around or killed off in some very public and excruciatingly painful way; if for no other reason than to make an example of him. Ben…an internal shiver ran through him at the thought of what they were likely doing to _him._ Not only he turned against the Final Order, he'd orchestrated the destruction of the Sith loyalists and the vast majority of the Final Order's star destroyers. Ben had committed the ultimate sin; he'd _turned back to the Light_.

He didn't rush back to the ship. Finn wasn't sure what to say to her when they came face to face. Should he ask her about it? Should he pretend like he doesn't know?

XXXX

Ren's hands trembled even as he gripped his thighs, repeatedly swallowing the nausea that swirled in his gut. He was bent over, multiple lines of drugs running through his system from a floating IV droid. It stayed right at his shoulder no matter how swiftly or often he moved. He wanted to yank the needle from his arm, but he'd been forbidden to touch it.

Whatever _she_ had done to him, it didn't allow for any type of disobedience and that made him angry. For reasons he didn't understand, being controlled sat wrong with him. Like he'd spent his entire life trying to throw off that specific yoke and had only recently succeeded. He slammed his balled-up fists against his temples hoping that it might jar some of his missing memories loose, it didn't and that fueled more rage.

He leaned against the slate grey metal walls of his chamber, hoping that the coolness would penetrate his heated skin. He had so many holes in his memory that he wasn't sure where the Empress ended, and he began. Ren was missing everything from before he'd awoken in that medical bay. He had no recollection of where he'd been born, who his parents were or how he'd come to be in the service of the Empress. But here he was. They treated him like something between an honored guest and a criminal to be tortured whenever the mood struck.

Slowly, he forced his battered body up and onto unsteady feet. He paced around the vast interior of his assigned quarters, touching items that meant nothing to him. Hoping that they would trigger something, anything; some kind of response. What he understood to be normal emotions were completely absent within him, only rage, loyalty, fear and betrayal collided inside his mind.

He didn't know if it was because of the effects of the drugs constantly coursing through him or something else, but he didn't like the disconnected feeling between his mind and his physical body. Kylo listed to the side as he walked guarding an injury he couldn't remember getting. It was beyond him. Anger swelled inside him. He was manifesting weakness, something he knew he shouldn't do. And yet why he knew that, he couldn't remember. He'd been told that he had been captured by the resistance and that they'd tortured him ruthlessly; interrogated him for months before the Final Order managed to rescue him. He remembered none of it.

But something about that felt wrong and he couldn't seem to put it into context. And then there was the _girl._ She would come to him in his dreams and he had no idea who she was. But he wanted to. They never spoke, only stared at one another for the space of a few heartbeats and then she was gone. He a connection to her that he couldn't understand. And if he didn't figure it out soon, he was going to pay for it in blood. It was already taking great effort for him to hide his obsession with her from the Empress.

The dark entity would come to him once a day. Ren remembered very little from those sessions. But he always had a killer headache by the time she left, and his body would have gained several new injuries. He felt unclean somehow and that bothered him on a level that made being in the same room as the Empress difficult. But he couldn't _not_ be in the same room. He was being torn apart inside and he had no idea how to reconcile his conflicting emotions.

Ren knew that something was being done to him, exactly what or why still eluded him. The black troopers came intermittently throughout the day, attacking him when he least expected it. Which meant he was getting very little sleep and even less time to heal from the unwarranted attacks. While his much of his past was a shrouded mystery, he remembered other things. Training tactics and mind control. At one point they'd even sent a predator droid, _that_ had nearly killed him before he managed to disable it.

He knew enough of torture techniques to know that to destroy who he had been in the past, he had to be broken down to his most basic parts. She could then build him back up into the weapon she wanted him to be. Only Kylo Ren had nothing to forget, nothing to destroy. His mind had been wiped clean. _But who? _The resistance maybe? Or the girl that he couldn't seem to forget. Why her? What was it about this slip of girl that was so _unforgettable_?

The wisps of remaining emotions in his memories were extremely painful. Rejection. Betrayal. Loneliness. Grief. Loss. Disappointment. Pain. _So much pain. _And always there was the face of the girl with a wide bright smile and open expression, haunting him at every turn. He couldn't erase her soft earnest features, lovely hazel-green eyes or the feeling that she was important to him on a very personal level.

But with each session he spent in the company of the Empress, he could feel his connection with the unknown woman fading. He was being reconditioned, he was certain of it, and yet he had no clue how to stop it. Escape was impossible. He didn't even know where he was. And they didn't leave him alone for long.

Shaking his head, he wandered to the fresher and splashed cold water on his face before staring at his reflection, studying a face that he didn't recognize. Coal black hair fell in soft gentle waves to just above his broad shoulders. Dark eyebrows framed a pair of eyes that were a strange mixture of light browns with splashes of gold at the edges. His nose was too big, even he could see that; and his lips were far too plump and wide. He lifted his tunic and stared at flat muscled stomach. Whoever he'd been, he was a warrior. He was well-muscled and yet extremely agile with lightning fast reflexes. But it was the angry red scar that ran from above his right eye, along his cheek and then down his neck onto his clavicle that made him frown. He'd been told that the resistance had given it to him but couldn't recall the circumstances. He did, however, remember a deep red-hazed rage that had filled him to bursting at that moment in time. The scar was still dark red, rimmed with pale white, like it had been re-opened recently; making it stand out in stark contrast against his pale skin.

That scar was a physical reminder of everything he couldn't seem to remember. And underneath those blank spaces was a roiling rage that was seeking an outlet. Raw, unfettered power that was barely controlled. He wondered if he really wanted to control it all. Wouldn't it be better if he shut down all other emotions and simply allowed the rage to guide his actions? Nothing to complicate the decision-making process…?

_Who am I_? He didn't voice it aloud. He never knew who was listening. No one had come to him other than the ranking black trooper or his attack minions, the medical droids, or the Empress. Which meant that he must have no one else. He was completely alone. A pang of longing so strong it momentarily stole his breath sliced through him, he doubled over until it passed before slowly pulling himself back to his feet.

With a sigh, he sank onto the bed, winching as he laid his large frame down and stretched out as best he could. Everything ached, slow waves of dizziness and pain washed over him again and again. All he wanted to do was sleep and forget everything he didn't _know_.

XXXX

_Rey stood on a narrow precipice, her hand raised in a plaintive gesture and her lips set in a grim line of acceptance. She watched Ben with something akin to longing with heart-breaking sorrow. Her other hand rested against her abdomen in a protective gesture that made her feel slightly better. He was watching her with wary distrustful eyes. Anger swirling just beneath surface. His own hands twitching toward his lightsaber as his body tensed for action._

_The ache inside her heart was almost more than she could handle. _

_He was injured, but he was by no means weak. Ben hunched forward; his body folding slightly as he protected injuries she couldn't see. The scar, which had been nearly white and difficult to make out the last time they'd been together was now a deep angry red. She wanted to ask him what had happened, but she couldn't communicate with him. Just as he wasn't able to speak to her. The fact that they were even seeing one another had everything to do with the dyad connection and nothing to do with conscious choice from either of them. Their bond had been unpredictable since her surprising return from death._

_But there was no doubt that Ben did not recognize her. There was nothing in his expressive eyes to suggest that he had any idea who she was to him. Rey's heart clenched with that painful realization. What had that bitch-Sith done to him? _

_Seething anger boiled inside her and she had to remind herself to control it when the baby echoed her rage with hints of and untamed fury. She blinked and then closed her eyes allowing the Light to wash over her and through her, grinding off the sharp edges of her rage. The anger abated slightly, but she could still feel the child's fury as a primal emotion. Carefully she wove the Light of the Force around the tiny soul and cradled it with love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Slowly the anger drained away and the child's mind slipped into sleep. _

_The emotions emanating from the child had been so strong that she was shocked when Ben showed no signs that he'd felt it. _

_She hadn't realized that he had slowly been closing the distance between them until he was standing an arm's length from her. His saber gripped loosely in his right hand and his eyes tortured as he stared down at her. But still she saw no recognition in his dark eyes, simply curiosity_ and pain_. With a sigh she held out her empty hand._

_He looked as though he wanted to take it, but something was holding him back. And then his face screwed up in a jagged expression and he screamed before dropping to his knees. His weapon slipping from numb fingers as he clasped his hands over his ears, desperate to silence something she couldn't hear. _

_She watched with rising horror as blood started trickling from his ears and nose; and then he screamed until his voice gave out. _

_Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched him suffer. What new kind of torture was this? Why was she here to witness it if she couldn't do anything to help him? It was the worst thing she'd ever seen, and it was happening to the man she loved. A feeling of impotent rage rushed through her._

Rey jerked awake panting in sharp short breaths. Sweat pouring down her face. She noticed her hands were shaking when she shoved her damp hair from her eyes. Her throat was raw with emotion as she recalled with perfect clarity the dream…or vision. She was catching glimpses of his captivity and she was losing him. Every time their minds bridged, she felt less and less of the man she loved and more of the man Ben had struggled to excise from his soul. Kylo Ren was returning and destroying Ben Solo as he did. The Hive-Sith was turning him back into someone Rey feared and hated, a weapon to be deployed against _her._

XXXX

Kylo knelt before the Empress, his head bowed and his right elbow resting on his upturned knee. He'd lost track of how long he'd been in this position. He couldn't feel his legs anymore and his back muscles were straining against the forced inactivity. The Empress continued to watch him silently. Her head tilting every so often as though she were debating on something. She slowly came to her feet and descended the dais to stand directly in front of him.

"Rise."

And he did, though he kept his eyes pointed at the floor. She stepped forward, running her fingers along his scar and down until her hand rested just above his wide black belt. Raising an eyebrow when he didn't so much as flinch, she blew out a deep breath.

"I have a mission for you. Do you believe you are ready?" She allowed her hand to trail over his body as she circled him, appraising his strength and loyalty.

"I am, Master." His voice was low and throaty with the pain he constantly held back.

She halted in front of him again, turning so he had no choice but to raise his gaze. "The resistance has a Jedi."

"Master…I believe they are all dead." The knowledge came from somewhere deep inside him and he couldn't find fault with it. But he did wonder where it had come from.

"They are _not_ all dead." She hissed angrily. As punishment for his mistake, she crushed him under an invisible weight he couldn't fight. His body bowed under the crushing weight and he slammed back into the unforgiving floor when they finally gave out. But she didn't stop with that, she continued to crush him until he heard his shoulder pop from the socket. Blinding fiery pain engulphed his left side.

He was smart enough not to utter a sound. He bit through his lower lip to keep the agonized cry from finding his voice. She smiled and was somehow worse than when she glowered. "_She_ is not dead, and she carries the bloodline of the most powerful Sith Lord to ever live. She cannot be allowed to live."

She moved with a slow purpose as she unfolded her plan to him. Unaware that he had made the connection between the 'she' the Empress was referring to and the 'she' from his dreams. He didn't think he could hurt her let alone kill her. Kylo didn't expect the pressure against his temples as she invaded his mind and tore his secret from him in an act of heinous barbarity. And then she gathered all his anger, fear, loneliness, hate and attached her face to the primal emotions.

By the time he came back to himself, he felt nothing but fury at the Scavenger. She was the reason he was in this position. She was the reason he'd lost the Final Order. She was the reason he was being hurt by his Master. She was the reason…for everything. And he wanted nothing more than to strip the skin from her bones and see her left on a distant planet to be devoured by the creatures that roam the night.

"Now you are ready." She said as she back away.

He rose to his feet and bowed deeply before turning toward the door. "Kylo Ren." She called and he turned.

A lightsaber landed in his open palm. "Kill her."

"Yes Master."

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Rey and Ben will get their happy ending…promise. Thank you to those of you that continue to read and leave a review, I really do appreciate your time. _


	20. Heritage

**Chapter Twenty: **_Heritage_

The Ring of Kefrene wasn't a place world where upstanding people generally visited. It was an out of the way system overrun by gangsters, smugglers, and people hoping of avoid notice. The planet was covered in mostly sandstone, with some large deserts in between the few settlements. But unlike Jakku, the sandstone had created huge monolithic mountains that were beautiful and extremely dangerous. The non-cohesive nature of the stone made it prone to cracking and breaking. Many a traveler had lost their lives trying to determine which paths were safe among those craggy peaks, and she had no intention of being one of them.

The crystal mines had been played out years ago, which had left the poor even poorer and more desperate to eke out a living. The First Order had had little to no interest in the isolated system, so it had mostly been left alone. Which had been fine with the inhabitants, until the lawless nature of the gangsters had taken over, disrupting what little lives they did have.

Now it was a seedy trader's market, dealing in everything from spice to slave trafficking.

Rey swallowed as she and Finn worked their way through the sandy streets. The suns were still high, and the day had another six hours before the twin suns finally set. After which there would be fifty-three hours of darkness. She'd wanted to wait for the cover of the night, but Finn and Poe had disagreed. They both preferred to do their hunting during the day. _She_ thought that made them more of a target, they didn't agree.

Her fingers were wrapped around her staff as she moved with a careful ease through the dilapidated city. The narrow streets curved and wound around large sandstone spires; which had been carved into homes for those that could afford it. She cast her gaze over her shoulder every so often to see if Finn was still back there. He'd said very little to her since their trip to Utapau. Granted she wasn't exactly stellar company after that, but still… Pain worked through her, as it always did, when she thought of that planet and what she'd lost there. She kept moving despite the immense emotional agony she was suffering. Finn had talked a little about Ben and what he'd seen, but he'd been very quiet otherwise. Rey knew that he was keeping something from her, and that knowledge hurt. But she couldn't fault him for it, because she was keeping stuff from him too. She didn't like new dynamic of secrets between friends.

Finn was very careful to keep his thoughts focused on their current mission and not on whatever was bothering him. Not that she would've read his mind. She shivered at the memories of having her own thoughts peeled from inside her mind. She would never do that to another living being. One's thoughts should safe from prying minds.

Rey did, however, find Finn's silence to be frustrating. Her feet scuffed the sand-covered stone as she headed for the far end of the street. A man that Poe knew had agreed to meet them here. Supposedly he knew where the last of the mines were located. And if they were going to find a heart of kyber, they were going to need his help.

A large rolling wagon trundled past them and they stopped long enough to allow it to pass. She started forward, but Finn's fingers wrapped around her wrist pulling her to a stop.

"What?" She asked, turning to stare at him with wide confused eyes.

His gaze dropped down and then lifted to meet her questioning expression again. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was soft, there was no reproach in it, just sadness.

Now she really was confused. "Tell you what?" Part of her was hoping that he wasn't talking about the _time_ she'd spent with Ben. That would be a very awkward conversation that she wasn't ready to have, not with Finn.

He tilted his head and looked slightly disappointed in her. Rey's stomach twisted. She didn't like disappointing him. Finn was the closest thing she had to family and what he thought of her meant something…no, it meant _everything_.

"Rey, I _know_ about your past."

She frowned. "My past? Finn you're not making any sense."

He sighed, "Palpatine." He uttered the word quietly, like saying it too loud might bring the old Emperor back, again.

It was the one word she never would've thought to hear from his lips. And the one word that scared her more than almost anything else. "What?" She stuttered nervously.

"It's all over the place; every single world has heard about it. The Final Order put the information out for the entire galaxy to know." It cost him something to tell her and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and pulling her into a hug. "You could've told me." He whispered. "I would've understood."

She was too stunned to pull away and too surprised to return his comforting embrace. Rey's throat bobbed with emotions she couldn't express. Finn didn't release her despite knowing who her family had been, he held on like she was something precious. A ball of fear she'd been harboring deep inside released and the tears flowed like rainfall. She folded into his embrace and let her disappointment and shame freely slip from within. A small worried feeling wrapped around her and she had to send warm loving thoughts down her tenuous link with the child.

After a long time, she pulled back and wiped at her red eyes. He hadn't said anything the entire time, simply held her and allowed her emotions to drain with the tears. "I didn't know how to tell you." Her voice was small and scratchy.

"Rey, you didn't turn away from me when you found out I'd been a stormtrooper. Why would I turn away from you for something you have no control over?" His brown eyes were earnest and sincere as he stared at her. His hands running up and down her upper arms in a gentle caress that had nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with comfort. "You're family. Blood doesn't matter with us. You, Poe, Chewie and me. We. Are. Family." He took a deep breath. "And when we find Ben Solo, he'll be part of that family too. All of us have things in our pasts we'd like to forget. Or at least atone for."

Her eyes snapped up, her mouth dropping open in a tiny 'O' of surprise. She found herself wondering, and not for the first time, just how it was that Finn was who he was? He should have been tainted by his service to the First Order. But he wasn't. Finn was a unique and wonderful combination of understanding and strength.

"You love him, don't you?" Finn pressed softly, his dark eyes holding her in a trance-like state as he waited for her answer.

She smiled sadly. "It's not that simple. _We're _not that simple."

He knew she was talking about the _thing_ between herself and Ben Solo. Finn had seen the tendrils of whatever it was long before _Kylo Ren_ had turned back to the Light. "A Force thing?" he asked with a half-smile.

She inhaled, her breath hitching once again at his understanding nature. "Something like that."

"Will you tell me about it?"

Rey ran her fingers along his cheek. "I will. Someday."

"Then let's go find the one thing that can bring him back." He grabbed her hand and they started moving again. "To us." He added.

She couldn't stop the warmth that spread along her body as she allowed herself to be pulled along behind him. A thought occurred to her that Rey dragging him to a stop again. He turned to look at her with a questioning expression. "You know I love you too, right?" She blurted out.

Finn grinned. "I know."

XXXX

Kylo Ren stalked through the sandy mountains of Kefrene. His long robes swirling around his booted ankles. He didn't wear a mask, for reasons unknown to him the Empress had forbade it. Not that he'd wanted to. Something about hiding his face behind a mask felt stifling and claustrophobic. His stark black clothing was at the same time both familiar and alien to him. He'd been given very little information about this mission beyond finding and either killing or capturing the Scavenger. And now he found himself on this outer rim planet with so much sand and granite that he wondered how anything survived at all.

He hated the sand he realized with a start of surprise. It wasn't really a memory, just a fact. He probed at the feeling and found that there was something about it that reminded him of unpleasant things he couldn't quite recall. The black troopers followed him at a discreet distance, Jaxom at the head of their line. Ren hadn't wanted them to come, but the Empress hadn't given him a choice and now he was flanked by troops he didn't trust on a mission he couldn't fail.

And always there was the face of the girl.

A simmering anger flowed through and around him with every step he took. She was here. He knew it, could sense it. The strange connection he felt for the Scavenger was allowing him to track her with far greater ease than he'd anticipated. The Empress was wise. She'd known where the resistance would send their last remaining Jedi and she'd responded in kind. The star destroyer was hidden among the many rings of Kefrene, waiting for him to find the resistance fighters and either kill them outright or bring them back to _her_. A slight pang of _something_ ran through him at that thought. He cast it aside and focused on the narrow winding trail he was traversing. A deep canyon dropped off one side while a vertical granite face rose on the other. One misstep and he'd find himself falling thousands of feet. Even with the Force he likely wouldn't survive a fall like that.

Ahead of him, the sandy rocks lifted out of the moisture starved soil like skeletal fingers. Reaching toward an ever-moving target high above them. Ren glanced over his shoulder to see where the black troopers were, they were still there, but they were keeping a respectful distance. They'd been instructed to only interfere if he looked like he was going to lose or was overwhelmed by resistance forces. Her lack of faith in him rankled his tightly wound emotions. His booted foot hit a rock and he hissed as his injuries were jarred painfully. Wrapping his free hand around his bruised midsection he continued picking his way along the path.

The sun was finally starting to drop, and he found he was grateful for the oncoming darkness. The air had finally begun to cool, and he wondered how cold it would actually get before the twin suns rose again. Fifty-three hours of darkness. Kefrene had the longest night of any known planet in the galaxy.

He'd studied the outer rim planet, though he hadn't paid much attention to the temperature shifts. Mostly he'd been searching for the possible locations of old abandoned kyber or racine mines. Only one mine on this planet had produced Kyber crystals and he intended on being there when the Scavenger showed up. The path took another steep climb and he had to scramble over the uneven surface using his hands. It wasn't very dignified, but at the moment he didn't really care. He reached the top of the highwall and dropped over the backside without any thought for his own safety.

The steep rim would have been extremely treacherous without his Force abilities. Without conscious thought he manipulated the gravitational forces and made a slow controlled descent into the heart of the ravine. Once he was back on stable ground he glanced up, the troopers had remained at the top of the ravine. _Good, I don't need your help to kill this girl._

Pulling out the lightsaber, he ignited the blade. He was gratified to see the frenetic red energy spitting and hissing with the barely controlled power of the cracked crystal that powered it. The small cross arms dispelled the excess heat allowing the saber to function at a more stable level than would have been possible with the traditional designs. It felt strangely right in his hands and yet horrifyingly wrong at the same time. Kylo chalked it up to his memory lapses. Perhaps he'd acquired this lightsaber from another Force user, and it had yet to acclimate to his control? He wasn't sure and decided he'd worry about that at a later point. For now, he had a job to do.

Unslinging the pack from his shoulders, Ren pulled out the multitude of concussion traps that he'd been given and busied himself setting them up around the entrance to the old mine. It went straight down into the rocky ground, like it was an artery to the heart of the planet itself. The Empress had amassed an enormous Sith library in the few weeks since she'd seized control of the Final Order. He'd spent a lot of time studying kyber crystals, especially the hearts of kyber crystals. They were extremely rare and only came into being at the exact moment a star generated so much gravity that it transformed into a planet. That _heart_ then existed at the center of the new planet and retained the incredible galactic power of the ancient star.

Few Jedi or Sith had ever found such a crystal. Because of their location, many of them were impossible to reach without destabilizing the gravitational pull of the planet rendering it impossible to inhabit and deadly to mine. The only reference to one had been that of the dark saber, a tale of power gathered by a very powerful Sith Lord and then lost for generations. But the stories concerning that saber were generated mostly by word of mouth stories. No one had seen that saber for thousands of generations, so it probably never existed in the first place. The organization of the Sith loyalists had started around the same time that plasma blade was rumored to have been created. A shiver ran through him at the thought of possessing such a powerful weapon.

He pulled his mind back to his assigned task and he began the arduous task of setting the traps before dropping into the darkness of the mine. He was careful to hide among the dark passages and wait for his prey to wander into his trap. Ren wasn't a patient person, but he could wait for this.

Sinking down into a crevice, he rested the lightsaber on his folded thighs. In the darkness he had nothing to do but think, his mind wandering among the memories he did have. He was surprised to feel a twinge of regret for his current actions. Ignoring the crisis of conscience, he kept searching through his own mind. An image of the scavenger girl standing among red-robed guards, her blue lightsaber flashed with such incredible speed and skill that he was reluctantly impressed. She dropped down into crouch and slammed one of them into the dusty ground with nothing but the power of the Force. She commanded it with great care and precision and then she looked in _his_ direction.

Her eyes blew wide with both surprise and…_pleasure?_ His insides twisted with several unexpected emotions as he watched her across the expanse. The scene flickered and he found himself staring down at her, she was in a much different position. Her multi-colored eyes were soft and welcoming. Her bare arms stretched around his neck as she laid beneath his larger body; pliant and yet strong. Gently, she traced her fingers along the scar on his face; following it down until she reached the end just above his pectoral muscle. Her touch was feather-light, and whispers of her breath tickled the edges of his jawline. She was intoxicating in this position and he found he wanted nothing more than to _feel_ every inch of her as he claimed her body.

Kylo wasn't immune to the intimate feelings that encompassed them as they laid there together. He could feel her calm acceptance and an astonishing love flowing from her to him, wrapping him in the unwanted emotions. Her fingers drifted over his hot skin and he knew that he was every bit as _marked _by her as she was by him.

He surged up out of his own mind, his heart hammering frantically inside his chest and sweat pouring down his face. He panted as he tried to regain control of his traitorous body. He scrubbed his hand down his face hoping it would wipe away the image of her lying naked beneath him. But that image was now burned into his mind and wouldn't be erased. He'd never wanted anything as much as he wanted for that image to be real. No power in the galaxy could compare to the simple acceptance and love that reflected back at him from the scavenger.

"_She's important." _A voice floated from the darkness, sending his entire body into a state of battle-ready action. He spun around, desperately searching for the speaker. A translucent blue glow coalesced just ahead of him and he found his feet frozen in place.

The speaker was tall and quite young. Hair similar in style to his own, except a sandy brown color to his black, and blue eyes that watched him with interest. "Who're you?" Ren demanded. He was gripping the hilt, but he hadn't yet lit his lightsaber. This stranger wasn't here to harm him and somewhere deep inside, he knew that.

"_I think you already know." _The projection said. But as his blue gaze remained steadily on Kylo Ren's reaction he sighed. "_So, she's taken that from you too."_ It wasn't a question.

"Taken what? Who are you talking about? The Scavenger?" he accused as the anger rose up inside him.

The figure shook his head. _"No, not Rey."_

_Rey._ Kylo felt the stab of jealousy penetrate his heart. This _person_ knew her name. What else did he know about her?

"_The Empress. She's damaged your mind."_ He stepped closer and Ren back away, his fingers twitching toward the light saber. The man's eyes dropped, and he smiled sadly. _"You can't hurt me with that. But if you strike me in anger, you will truly be lost. Rey won't be able to find you then."_

Grinding his teeth together, Kylo moved his fingers from the hilt of the plasma blade. "How do you know me?"

"_We're family. That is all you need to know at this time."_

He didn't like all the games being played with him. From the moment he'd awoken in that interrogation cell, he'd been toyed with. His mind invaded and twisted by those around him and he was furious about it. "No. That is not all I need to know." He bit out angrily. "I don't know who I am. My memory is full of holes. I have scars I have no recollection of and memories of a girl I've never met. I need to know _more_."

Kylo had always been driven by knowledge. Curiosity had been one of his most ardent qualities and had driven him to seek answers above everything else. He _had_ to understand how things worked and why. The man nodded once and turned to sit on a low rock wall.

"_I cannot give you back what she has taken. Only you can do that. But I can tell you some of what you wish to know." _

Ren nodded and sank back onto his heels, the lightsaber still held loosely in his right hand.

"_My name is Anakin Skywalker—"_

"You're a Jedi." He said without breaking eye contact.

"_Yes, I'm a Jedi. But I've also been a Sith."_

Kylo's eyes widened at that. "You can't be both." He said irritably.

Anakin's eyebrow rose in question. _"And why not? The Force has two sides. One Light and one Dark. People have that same capacity. So, if we are the users of the Force, acting out its will upon the galaxy, how can we not be both light and dark?"_

The dark-haired man paused to consider that statement. "The Empress is a Sith."

The projection's eyes narrowed and flashed with anger._ "The Empress is something ancient and evil. Vanquished many thousands of years ago. She has found her way back to the living world. But she is neither Sith nor Jedi. She gathers the souls of Force users, taking them into herself and making them part of her 'hive'. She feeds on their strength and controls their fear making her very powerful and very dangerous."_

Something flickered at the edges of Ren's memory; he recalled having his mind ruthlessly and painfully torn into. Parts of himself smothered under the incredible power of the hive's mind. A small dam broke and a new emotion slipped past the broken wall. Compassion.

"She…" His voice drifted off as he tried to capture the words. "…did something to me."

Anakin's eyes softened and he nodded. _"She has ripped out part of who you are. Leaving only the violent volatile parts of your personality intact."_ He rose and took a step toward Kylo.

The man in black hurdled himself backwards against the jagged stone. He felt a few new cuts as the sharp rock tore through his clothing and sliced his back open in several places. Grunting, he ignored the injuries as he came to his feet. Gripping the hilt of the lightsaber tighter he pressed away from the other man.

Anakin sighed, _"Well, that was dramatic."_ He said with a half-smile. _"I'm not here to hurt you Ben—"_

Kylo's eyes blew wide and his fingers loosened their grip on the saber. "—What did you call me?" he blurted out desperately.

Raising an eyebrow, Anakin repeated, _"Ben. I called you Ben." _

"Why? My name is Kylo Ren. Not Ben…"

Anger flared in those dark blue eyes and Anakin's aura flashed to a deep-hazy purple before returning to a soft blue. _"You were born Ben Solo. The sole heir to planet Alderan. The only son of Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo. Nephew of Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master and…my only grandson."_

Ren's eyes went impossibly wide and he started shaking his head in denial. "That's not true."

"_Search your feelings. You know it to be true."_

The internal conflict was ripping him apart. Parts of his deepest self were fighting for control. He sank to his knees, his hands wrapped around his skull as pain lanced through him. If he could have bashed his own head open on the rocks to stop the agony, he would have. But one of his directives from the Empress didn't allow him to harm himself. He couldn't take his own life or injure himself in any way to alleviate the pain inside him. Grinding his teeth together he flung his mind out to the Empress seeking an end to his pain.

Instantly, the jarring fire inside him abated as she reinserted herself into his mind.

"_Don't allow yourself to be deceived my apprentice. This is merely a trick of the Jedi to bend your mind to their will. Ignore their words and focus on mine." _She reinforced his directives and wrapped his mind in darkness, dimming the light that had threatened to undo what she had done.

When Ren opened his eyes again, he was alone. The darkness had once again settled over the cavern. He didn't know whether the projection had been real or not, but he knew that his mission must not fail. And yet he couldn't forget the words of the Force-ghost. Somehow, he knew that was what this Anakin Skywalker had been. Which meant he had lived, at some point. Kylo wanted his pain to end. Wanted his mind clear and focused. If the Empress was to be believed, then the only way that could happen was if he killed the girl and with her whatever Light still lived within his soul.

Steeling himself for the conflict to come he backed into the crevice again. The scuffling of two distinct sets of boots alerted him that he was about to fulfill his destiny. He _would_ be the one to kill the last living Jedi and with her, the Light that so desperately wanted to destroy _him._

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _I hope you are doing well in these uncertain times. Please accept my newest chapter as a way to escape from the incredible drama we are all currently living through. Stay safe and I'll get the next chapter up soon. I realize I left this in a bit of a precarious spot. :)_

**Reviews would be lovely.**


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